# Living while black in America **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 9, 2018, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611 "2018-07-09T21:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 61
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1203 "2018-09-21T03:26:04Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > I’m not going to speak for anyone else but I think it’s better to be a free speech advocate and a generally pleasant creature than a paranoid loon with an admittedly huge vocabulary. Give it a try, I’ll let you know if it works. > [@octopus](#): > > Well, I’m not sure what you are. Don’t really care to be honest. But I do think it’s helpful to let people know if their method of communication is likely to be productive or counterproductive with regards to their goals. Not that anyone ever listens! It’s the White Man’s burden, some one has to shoulder it. > [@HelenTroy](#): > > And get off my lawn! Child, I agree with you in general, but after you spend blood, sweat, and tears pampering drought tolerant, slow growth grass, watering it only every third day to ensure deep roots and feeding it with home grown composts, believe me, you’ll be going after people with pitchforks, too. All green things are carbon sinks. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1204 "2018-09-21T03:27:23Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Now see, _this_ is a valuable, critically thought out post that _deserves_ an honest, equally thoughtful response. And surprise! I actually agree with the bulk of what you’re saying here. But the board mentality/behavior you outline here is not confined to situations which present racial anxiety or discomfort to the board. I have experienced the same thing myself at times over my years here when I’ve discussed disability-related subjects. > > The strategies at marginalizing the messenger in order to discount the message are not unique to subjects involving racism. They are used _whenever_ an uncomfortable thus unpopular issue is voiced and the majority doesn’t want to confront the issue head-on by being introspective and acknowledging the _possibility_ of their own complicity in the raised issue. > > Of course I’m not suggesting that most posters here are racists and ableists. But i am saying that it is quite difficult to overcome the ingrained in-group fueled “bubble” that this board is ensconced in. Even when approaching the conversation in a decidely non-confrontational manner. So when your valid arguments are camouflaged by an arsenal of intentionally provocative and offensive tactics, you do the work of marginalizing yourself as the messenger for them! Trust me, I’ve been there! Give an inch and a mile will be taken. > > It shouldn’t _have_ to be like this but that’s the psychology of humans who congregate together with others similar to themselves and get confronted by an outsider criticizing them. So I learned, at least, that I needed to address my own M.O. if I really wanted to be able to effectively communicate to as many people as were open to such communication (however small or large that group may be). I needed to check my emotions at the door. > > None of this is to say I dont have deep sympathy for your complaints. But venting and communicating are often at odds with each other. Which are you interested in engaging in? Honestly, I think I have that figured out and you go and post something like this. It seems like such a waste! It’s like pissing in the wind. If you are interested in communicating then stick to communication. Likewise, if you want to vent, stick to venting. Doing both together only confuses things and sacrifices the effectiveness of either. > > And I can already predict how my post will be regarded by a certain faction here. “Tone-policing!!” “Condescension!!” “Lecturing!” “Focusing on the poster not the post!” None of that would be true tho. Im just recognizing a pattern that ive seen before and sharing my take and response to it. Yeah, a large majority of the most vocal posters aren’t actually intellectually honest around here. It’s actually sad. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1205 "2018-09-21T03:27:30Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Now see, _this_ is a valuable, critically thought out post that _deserves_ an honest, equally thoughtful response. … Okay, now I get the “articulate” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1206 "2018-09-21T03:58:38Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Can we just go back to hating white people? That depends – are they from Philadelphia? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1207 "2018-09-21T14:31:04Z")
\*\*A sheriff was caught on tape making racist remarks. \*\* [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-sheriff-was-caught-on-tape-making-racist-remarks-now-he-faces-calls-to-resign/ar-AAApBrr](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-sheriff-was-caught-on-tape-making-racist-remarks-now-he-faces-calls-to-resign/ar-AAApBrr) > [@](#): > > “At this time I would like to offer my sincere apology to the people of Bergen County for the insensitive recorded remarks that were made public today,” he said in a statement. “These remarks are not representative of the person that I am, and they are in no way consistent with the manner in which I have conducted my life personally and as a law enforcement professional." “I am truly very sorry I got caught. You guys weren’t supposed to hear this.” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1208 "2018-09-21T15:08:50Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Okay, now I get the “articulate” thing. I’m sorry? 😕 But are you suggesting that I was making some sort of racially tinged comment? ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1209 "2018-09-21T15:45:46Z")
God, no. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1210 "2018-09-21T15:48:12Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > \*\*A sheriff was caught on tape making racist remarks. \*\* > [MSN](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-sheriff-was-caught-on-tape-making-racist-remarks-now-he-faces-calls-to-resign/ar-AAApBrr) > > “I am truly very sorry I got caught. You guys weren’t supposed to hear this.” Maybe he was on Ambien? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1211 "2018-09-21T16:50:21Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > \*\*A sheriff was caught on tape making racist remarks. \*\* > [MSN](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-sheriff-was-caught-on-tape-making-racist-remarks-now-he-faces-calls-to-resign/ar-AAApBrr) > > “I am truly very sorry I got caught. You guys weren’t supposed to hear this.” That’s exactly it. Racism isnt any less alive and virulent today than it was in the days of Jim Crow, it’s just more _carefully_ expressed, shared only in the comforting company of like-minded people (or only when _thought_ to be in such company). To me, it’s more insidious and potentially destructive now, since its not out in the open for the world to see. ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1212 "2018-09-21T17:26:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That’s exactly it. Racism isnt any less alive and virulent today than it was in the days of Jim Crow… I am not much for wading into the BBQ pit…but really? You think racism is just as alive as it was in the days of Jim Crow? I would say hyperbole is not conductive to rational discussions. I am not saying there are no racist in the US. There are. Tens of millions of them. But to compare that to the days of Jim Crow is disingenuous. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1213 "2018-09-21T17:48:48Z")
> [@Hermitian](#): > > I am not much for wading into the BBQ pit…but really? > > You think racism is just as alive as it was in the days of Jim Crow? I would say hyperbole is not conductive to rational discussions. > > I am not saying there are no racist in the US. There are. Tens of millions of them. But to compare that to the days of Jim Crow is disingenuous. I didnt mean to suggest that it was as violent or as outwardly expressed as a part of society as it was in Jim Crow era. Progress _has_ been made. But I don’t believe it’s been as monumental as many would like to believe. The racism that was worn on the sleeves of racists became racism worn as the necklace tucked under the shirt of the racists. I did overextend myself a bit with my original remark. I was trying to compare aspects of both states of racism as being comparable, not the entire states themselves. And yes, I do think racism is as alive today as it was in the Jim Crow era. It has simply evolved with a changing culture, along with everything else. Segregation, for example, still alive, it is just cloaked in plausible deniability today. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1214 "2018-09-25T02:47:49Z")
…white judge man-handles black woman into court, denies man-handling her. Jails her for five days, black judge later tosses the contempt charge and releases her from jail. White judge resigns. > **[Judge resigns after video shows him grabbing Black woman around the neck](https://thegrio.com/2018/09/14/judge-resigns-after-video-shows-him-grabbing-black-woman-around-the-neck/)** > > A magistrate judge in Ohio has resigned after video of him chasing down and grabbing a Black woman by her ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1215 "2018-09-25T03:24:42Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …white judge man-handles black woman into court, denies man-handling her. Jails her for five days, black judge later tosses the contempt charge and releases her from jail. White judge resigns. > > [Judge resigns after video shows him grabbing Black woman around the neck - TheGrio](https://thegrio.com/2018/09/14/judge-resigns-after-video-shows-him-grabbing-black-woman-around-the-neck/) Good news, I guess? I’ve seen people fired for less. You don’t put your hands on people. You just don’t do that. And when, exactly did she try to run down a side hall? On top of all that, she still has to worry about whoever it was coming after her. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1216 "2018-09-25T19:55:29Z")
[Police called on modest woman](https://www.rawstory.com/2018/09/watch-north-carolina-ymca-calls-police-muslim-woman-swimsuit/) Too revealing for the tennis court, not revealing enough for the pool - this is definitely about control, not safety. These suits are not new, so I don’t believe the staff thought she was wearing street clothes. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1217 "2018-09-25T22:40:37Z")
This is where we’re at in America, now.[This man](https://patch.com/new-jersey/lakewood-nj/baby-crawled-across-lakewood-road-internet-irate/) saw a baby crawling in the street and felt that he needed to document the scene before approaching the child. Because he’s a big black man and was concerned about his safety and how the situation might look to other people. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1218 "2018-09-25T23:45:43Z")
I thought it sad that he felt the need to document the situation first, but unbelievable that people started condemning him for it. That being said, IME cops always ask for identification, so that might not be anything. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1219 "2018-10-13T02:39:42Z")
[Babysitting while black](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/audio-reveals-white-woman-called-911-black-babysitter-because-she-n919541) White woman calls 911 when she sees a black man with two white children. > [@](#): > > “Hi there, I’m in the Walmart parking lot at Barrett Parkway and I just got my nails done and I see this black gentleman with these two little white kids and so I just had a funny feeling,” the woman said, in a recording released by Cobb County Turns out he was babysitting the children. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1220 "2018-10-13T11:38:22Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > [Babysitting while black](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/audio-reveals-white-woman-called-911-black-babysitter-because-she-n919541) > > White woman calls 911 when she sees a black man with two white children. > > Turns out he was babysitting the children. I’m sure we’ve all heard of similar instances when it’s a parent or relative who doesn’t look exactly like the kid. I know a couple, both Mexican. She’s short and morena. He’s tall and rubio. The kids’ got dad’s hair and skin. So that short brown lady taking care of them? Must be the nanny. Not as bad as the cops showing up but still :smack: ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1221 "2018-10-13T14:17:55Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > I’m sure we’ve all heard of similar instances when it’s a parent or relative who doesn’t look exactly like the kid. > > I know a couple, both Mexican. She’s short and morena. He’s tall and rubio. The kids’ got dad’s hair and skin. So that short brown lady taking care of them? Must be the nanny. Not as bad as the cops showing up but still :smack: Yeah, a friend of mine is Puerto Rican but much darker than his wife, who’s Mexican. He’s had issues when schlepping the kids around, as they’re her complexion, and he was really pissed when he was doing the “hold my purse” thing while she was shopping and some lady thought he’d snatched it from someone and threatened to call the cops. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1222 "2018-10-13T16:01:32Z")
[Woman calls police on black boy she falsely accused of groping her](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/12/nyregion/woman-calls-police-black-boy-brooklyn.html) For those who can’t access the article, a woman was standing in line at a deli. She accused the little boy standing behind her of groping her butt. The kid’s mother yelled at her when she confronted him. The butthurt lady calls the cops, accusing the boy of sexually assaulting her. The video of her making the phone call made its way to The New York Post. Fortunately, the deli had surveillance footage that showed what happened. The boy’s bookbag had simply grazed against the woman’s backside. Even though she has apologized, she is trying to make it sound like the boy’s mother is at fault for everything since the mother committed the heinous act of yelling at her sensitive ass. If someone accused my nine-year-old kid of sexual assault, I’d be yelling too. I think most people would. Look at the video if you have a chance. See how the kid bursts in sobs as all of this is going down. And yet, that bitch is so determined to flex her power and privilege that she blinds herself to the pain she’s causing. Seeing that little boy cry like that would have made any decent person have second thoughts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611.md?page=60) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611.md?page=62)