# Living while black in America **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 9, 2018, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611 "2018-07-09T21:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 88
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1743 "2020-05-29T03:51:59Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > He was uppity, that’s how. He didn’t address her as “Ma’m” and he didn’t avert his eyes when she looked at him. And he spoke to her with nary a white man in sight. I mean, how dare he. Oh yes. That’s it! That’s it exactly. Thank you so much for giving me the words. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1744 "2020-05-29T05:57:46Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Oh yes. That’s it! That’s it exactly. Thank you so much for giving me the words. See, I suspect you’re going for sarcasm, but with your earlier racist non-joke, I can’t be sure. And word of advice based on your earlier piss-poor postings, playing “she was a woman alone, he was a man” (he was “kind of creepy”) is \*so \*not going to be the trump card in this one that you seem to think it is. This is not a #MeToo situation. Unless you’ve personally Karened before? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1745 "2020-05-29T07:27:42Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > See, I suspect you’re going for sarcasm, but with your earlier racist non-joke, I can’t be sure. > > And word of advice based on your earlier piss-poor postings, playing “she was a woman alone, he was a man” (he was “kind of creepy”) is \*so \*not going to be the trump card in this one that you seem to think it is. > > This is not a #MeToo situation. Unless you’ve personally Karened before? Ah, racist stereotypes are cool now? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1746 "2020-05-29T07:35:16Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Ah, racist stereotypes are cool now? I have no idea what race HNS is, mate. Karen is as Karen does, no more, no less. I mean, you should know this, you’ve definitely Karened on this board, Mr “Potty Mouth”. Regards, MrDibble ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1747 "2020-05-29T07:38:57Z")
Can’t I at least be an Olivia or an Ophelia to keep it in the Os? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1748 "2020-05-29T08:35:49Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Can’t I at least be an Olivia or an Ophelia to keep it in the Os? No. But feel free to speak to my manager. He’s Mr Don’tGiveAFuck Regards, MrDibble ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1749 "2020-05-29T11:07:18Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Your guess is incorrect. But I also don’t tell people who do that to leash up or I’ll sic social media on them. Asking someone whose dog is shitting if they need a bag is as far as I go. He did not tell her to leash up or he’d sic social media on her. He started filming when she approached him (without a mask) and threatened him. He kept filming while she threatened his life by calling 911 and pretending to be terrified of him. So, at least get your facts straight. The video isn’t very long – just watch it. Watch how she gets in his face, which is against current pandemic rules, chokes her dog, and pretends to be upset. Watch how calm he his throughout, even though I’d be shitting bricks if I were a black man and a white woman was crying to 911 about me threatening her. Maybe it’s because your user name is so witty that I’ve given some idiocy of yours a pass in the past. Maybe you’ve had a stroke and your personality has changed from my previous impression of you. Maybe you’ve started watching Fox News or something, but you never pinged my radar in a negative sense before. It’s weird what an asshole you are and I never noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1750 "2020-05-29T12:41:25Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Ah right. She just \*pretended \*to be racist. > > Or wait… Maybe she’s legally blind! Ya that’s the ticket! > > Anything to excuse the disgusting behaviour of this repellent woman, eh? You should start using sarcasm tags, since apparently it’s becoming hard to distinguish sarcasm from actual racism. > [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Legally blind? Where did that come from? see? (sarcasm. And also a call-back to [this](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=22326397&postcount=104) post for those who don’t read all the threads) ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1751 "2020-05-29T13:13:49Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > It’s weird what an asshole you are and I never noticed. It is weird, right? I mean, sure, these [two](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435009&postcount=40) [posts](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435036&postcount=42) of hers were a major clue. But I just figured she was your run-of-the-mill clueless American. Not an asshole necessarily, just someone blind to her own privilege. And she wasn’t the only person posting eye-rolly comments in that thread. Folks who I genuinely like were saying stupid stuff about people with unusual names. But now my eyes are open. For me, she is always to be like **Annie Xmas**. A poster who I might agree with occasionally, but who I will never really like or respect. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1752 "2020-05-29T13:29:23Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It is weird, right? I mean, sure, these [two](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435009&postcount=40) [posts](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435036&postcount=42) of hers were a major clue. But I just figured she was your run-of-the-mill clueless American. Not an asshole necessarily, just someone blind to her own privilege. And she wasn’t the only person posting eye-rolly comments in that thread. Folks who I genuinely like were saying stupid stuff about people with unusual names. > > But now my eyes are open. For me, she is always to be like **Annie Xmas**. A poster who I might agree with occasionally, but who I will never really like or respect. Wow! Yeah, it’s a sort of subconscious racism that many people have. I know I used to be guilty of that myself, and I probably still am. When I take those flash subconscious racism tests, I always end up tagged as somewhat racist. I’m trying to be better. My kids do way better than I do, and don’t show those tendencies at all, which I’ve very happy about. The problem with those two posters is that they have those subconscious racist tendencies and either don’t know or don’t believe it. BTW, your **Annie** link was screwed up. Here it is: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=830768](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=830768) Pretty eye opening. I think (hope!) that kids growing up in reasonably non-racist households for the last decade or so will not have those connotations. TV in my youth very rarely showed black people in positions of power, or as knowledge workers, or as equals. More often, they were shown as subservient or criminals. However, TV has come a long, long way in showing black doctors, lawyers, superheroes, presidents, cops, and just as the regular people that they are. I’m optimistic for the future in that sense. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1753 "2020-05-29T15:01:56Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It is weird, right? I mean, sure, these [two](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435009&postcount=40) [posts](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435036&postcount=42) of hers were a major clue. But I just figured she was your run-of-the-mill clueless American. Not an asshole necessarily, just someone blind to her own privilege. And she wasn’t the only person posting eye-rolly comments in that thread. Folks who I genuinely like were saying stupid stuff about people with unusual names. > > But now my eyes are open. For me, she is always to be like **Annie Xmas**. A poster who I might agree with occasionally, but who I will never really like or respect. That second quote is amazing. People need to choose names that fit the society in which they live, rather than “ethnic” names, eh? Such blindness–or perhaps not–to equating white society with society generally. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1754 "2020-05-29T15:04:54Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Legally blind? Where did that come from? It came as mocking your flailing excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1755 "2020-05-29T15:06:31Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > > [@monstro](#): > > > > It is weird, right? I mean, sure, these [two](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435009&postcount=40) [posts](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9435036&postcount=42) of hers were a major clue. But I just figured she was your run-of-the-mill clueless American. Not an asshole necessarily, just someone blind to her own privilege. And she wasn’t the only person posting eye-rolly comments in that thread. Folks who I genuinely like were saying stupid stuff about people with unusual names. > > > > But now my eyes are open. For me, she is always to be like **Annie Xmas**. A poster who I might agree with occasionally, but who I will never really like or respect. > > That second quote is amazing. People need to choose names that fit the society in which they live, rather than “ethnic” names, eh? Such blindness–or perhaps not–to equating white society with society generally. So expatriate Americans living in, say, Saudi Arabia should be giving their children traditional Arabic names? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1756 "2020-05-29T15:10:19Z")
I don’t have a dog in this fight, but expatriates are not the same as immigrants. I’m the child of immigrants, and my parents game me and my siblings names typical to their new country. ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1757 "2020-05-29T15:25:51Z")
I think HNS has come off very poorly in this thread, but I can’t really get behind the pile-on on the ethnic names thing. It looks to me like she’s making 4 points: - Some parents give their kids names that conform to the local dominant culture - Some parents give their kids names that conform to their own perceived culture - Both naming traditions have reasons for them pertaining to sets of values, and they’re both ok - Kids may decide they disagree with those reasons, and change their names when they grow up to conform to their own values Which one of those, exactly, am I supposed to find problematic? Also, as for the other thread of hers, I knew a guy named David once. No, not DAY-vid, duh-VEED. And he let you know it. And assumed everyone should know it, even if they hadn’t met before. And you certainly couldn’t make a mistake. Damn that was annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1758 "2020-05-29T15:28:21Z")
Meanwhile: hey, how about those black people living (and dying) in America? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1759 "2020-05-29T15:28:39Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I don’t have a dog in this fight, but expatriates are not the same as immigrants. I’m the child of immigrants, and my parents game me and my siblings names typical to their new country. Given the ethnic and racial diversity of the United States, so-called “ethnic names” _are_ typical of this society. They just aren’t white names. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1760 "2020-05-29T15:51:17Z")
Minor point: the birdwatcher did not post his video to social media; his sister did. So hinting that he did it to fuck her up does not align with the facts. If this had happened to a brother of mine, I’d be exactly pissed off enough to publicize his experience. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1761 "2020-05-29T16:00:35Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Your guess is incorrect. But I also don’t tell people who do that to leash up or I’ll sic social media on them. Asking someone whose dog is shitting if they need a bag is as far as I go. If you’re going to debate in earnest, then get your fucking facts right. Not too much to ask. The guy didn’t sic social media on her; he said he was recording her actions, which is perfectly reasonable since she was violating the regulations of the park. Nor was he complaining about the dog shitting - that completely misses his point, which anyone could have understood had they just taken time to read about it. The problem is, you formed your opinion based on your misunderstanding of the facts and now you’re trying to misrepresent facts to engage in a debate. The rest of us here are saying a collective “Fuck you.” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611/1762 "2020-05-29T16:26:03Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Given the ethnic and racial diversity of the United States, so-called “ethnic names” _are_ typical of this society. They just aren’t white names. White _Christian **Anglophone** _ names, more specifically, being the privileged “default normal” to “sound American”. After all there’s a bunch of White European Juans and Omars and Haruns and Arantxas and Zoraidas. I am sure if President #44 had been named Bernard Henry Oldman a whole lot of idiots would have needed to find another conspiracy to latch upon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611.md?page=87) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/living-while-black-in-america/817611.md?page=89)