# “Liza Minnelli Marries Cajun Man and Dr. Matrix and . . .” **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896 "2002-03-18T17:38:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/1 "2002-03-18T17:38:45Z")
New York [AP] — In keeping with her lifelong goal of marrying every gay man on the North American continent, effusive footnote Liza Minnelli was wed in a mass ceremony today to gay Dopers Cajun Man, Dr. Matrix, Matt, Gobear and Esprix, at New York’s Church of Oh, Mary, Don’t Ask. “I just know I’ll be as happy with my new husbands as I was with Rock Hudson, Robert Mapplethorpe and Truman Capote,” the bride gushed. She was attended by bridesmaids Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Tammy Faye Baker, and the mummified corpse of Marilyn Monroe. The bride’s gown was, to no one’s surprise, designed by Bob Mackie; pianist Michael Feinstein played “The [Off Her] Trolley Song” as the bride walked down the aisle, supported by Best Man Michael Jackson (who arrived at, and left, the ceremony with ring bearer Emmanuel Lewis). The happy bridal company plans to honeymoon at Betty Ford East, in Provincetown, Mass. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/2 "2002-03-18T17:47:03Z")
I was there in my best suit. And did they notice? Noooo. Sigh. What’s a girl gotta do to get noticed by AP? Actually… nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/3 "2002-03-18T18:22:25Z")
OxyMoron and I are apparently too butch to make the cut. We won’t be taking it personally, though. There’s always next time. ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/4 "2002-03-18T19:27:56Z")
Truman Capote was gay? But, but, he acted so macho. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/5 "2002-03-18T19:31:00Z")
Not to worry, **GrandfatherTrout**. From what I hear, Liza has just beat Oakland for the summer draft picks. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/6 "2002-03-18T20:01:35Z")
Eh, like mother, like daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/7 "2002-03-18T20:17:45Z")
I’m reduced to marrying women? ☹ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/8 "2002-03-18T20:26:30Z")
I didn’t even get an invitation! :mad: See if I send that tacky bitch a Cristmas card this year! _sigh_ Well, congratulations everyone, I guess. I give it six months. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/9 "2002-03-18T20:26:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*I’m reduced to marrying women? > > ☹ > > Esprix \*\* Coulda been worse. The backup tape could’ve filled up 11 days earlier. Then all proof that supports the first part of your sig would’ve been so much dust. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/10 "2002-03-18T20:51:34Z")
**Esprix’s** post has me confused. Did Liza marry Cajun Man, DrMatrix, Mat, gobear and Esprix to herself or each other? I was thinking Ms. Minnelli got herself one of those internet clerical colars and married the guys to each other in a Sun Young Moonie sorta way. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/11 "2002-03-19T01:32:04Z")
oh no, she married them all, that kooky polygamist. > [@](#): > > “Liza Minnelli was wed in a mass ceremony today to gay Dopers” I was reduced to tears when Mat said, in a sobby voice,“I do” The reception, however, was fabulous! The Rockettes were there even. In keeping with my good taste, I gave them each a hobo clown figurine. I do hope you like them. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/12 "2002-03-19T01:34:57Z")
So, what does Aaron Neville have to say about all this? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/13 "2002-03-19T01:53:54Z")
I couldn’t have made this up if I tried: > [@](#): > > Minnelli also supposedly told the British paper her gala wedding reception at the Regent Wall Street next Saturday is just what the city needs to cheer up after the Sept. 11 attack. > **[Gaming Wonderland](https://www.gamingwonderland.com/)** > > Get your game on at Gaming Wonderland, home to hundreds of the best free online games! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/14 "2002-03-19T02:54:04Z")
I saw a segment on her wedding the other day. Talk about tacky. Sheesh. Ostentatious much? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/15 "2002-03-19T04:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \ ***DAVEW0071** > I didn’t even get an invitation! :mad: > > See if I send that tacky bitch a Cristmas card this year! > > _sigh_ > > Well, congratulations everyone, I guess. I give it six months. Hey, give me a break! I just got all the invitations addressed and in the mail today. Virtually yours, **DrMatrix** - bitch, well . . . maybe, but tacky never! ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/16 "2002-03-19T05:57:05Z")
I’m not gay enough to be considered as a bridegroom? Humph! “I’ve writ-ten a let-ter to Dad-dy To Dad-dy in heav-en a-bove…” “my Mother - a common waitress!” “Surrender Dorothy” “M: Well I can’t just call out Butler. It might be somebody’s name. G: You have a point. An idiotic point, but a point”" “my mother says if you puts a knife under the bed it cuts the pain in half…” “I’m goin’ back Where I can be me, To the Bonjour Tristesse Brassiere Company (send me mah mail there!)” “Kinda makes you want to rush out and buy a slide rule, doesn’t it?” Well? **Eve** , it is a delight to see your name on a thread again, YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED. However, it seems safe to come out again now. Hope to see lots more from you, and to hear about the deaths of people we’d almost forgotten we knew about. Redboss ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/17 "2002-03-19T14:19:04Z")
I’m so sorry Liza and I overlooked you, Redboss—you have indeed proven yourself to be the very pineapple of nelliness and I’m sure that you’ll be included in Liza’s NEXT wedding ceremony, in a year or so. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/18 "2002-03-19T15:26:58Z")
> [@](#): > > pineapple of nelliness Band Name! ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liza-minnelli-marries-cajun-man-and-dr-matrix-and/98896/19 "2002-03-19T15:49:40Z")
> [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > pineapple of nelliness > > \*Originally posted by Dr. Rieux \* > \*\* > Band Name! \*\* Yeah, and you can use it to make _really_ fruity drinks.