# Loaded questions: So, are you married? Have kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686 "2013-06-23T05:11:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/21 "2013-06-24T03:39:54Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > If you’re in your 50s and never had a romantic relationship you’ve got bigger problems than tourists and small talk. Why is this necessarily a problem. I’ve been in a lot of relationships. Most of them bad. Probably my fault. Wasn’t till I stopped getting involved all together that I found happiness. Some people are more comfortable alone. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/22 "2013-06-24T03:50:09Z")
> [@Glazer](#): > > …Some people are more comfortable alone. As one of those breeders who’s blessed/suffering with a wife and kids, I’ve got to warn you: You may be dealing with some jealousy from us… ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/23 "2013-06-24T04:54:31Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Nobody will think twice if you say “Nope, how about yourself?” They are just making small talk on a topic that’s an easy “hit” for a lot of people, not actually prying in to your life. > > If you want to drop a hint, you can say something along the lines of “No, I’m very much a bachelor.” or “Oh no, not for me!” Most people can read between the lines and they’ll understand what you are saying. I vote for the “confirmed bachelor” reply. To some people, it means gay. To others, it means not married and not wanting to be. I think it sums up the situation pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/24 "2013-06-24T10:59:40Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > On occasion, I’ll just smile and say “not any more,” and let them draw their own conclusions. This gets my vote. 🙂 mmm ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/25 "2013-06-24T11:00:30Z")
In Eastern Europe, North Africa, Sub-Saharan Africa, the Middle East and South America I have had people gasp and clap their hands to their mouths when I said I didn’t have children. I have been given fertility symbols, potions, “healthy” food and I’ve been taken to a magical pool full of crocodiles where my SO and I were supposed to have sex. Maybe you should just milk them for the tragedy they obviously think your life to be. You could get some fun art for your wall out of it, some nice tea or a close encounter of the crocodile kind. 😃 > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Plenty of gay folks have kids, so I don’t see a need to even bring your sexuality into the conversation. > > Try this: “Hell to the No”. > mmm This is a very good point. If you do want to go with the teaching moment, you could just say “I never had the right partner to want to adopt with, how about you?” Me, I’m not about to tell people the lack of children is down to being strict with the pill. I’d lose out on the funny tea. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/26 "2013-06-24T13:07:44Z")
I always say a simple No. If they ask why not, I say “Don’t want them. If I did, I’d have them.” If anyone I know asks me if I want a husband or kids, I always say “That depends. WHOSE?” ETA: > [@Rune](#): > > If you’re in your 50s and never had a romantic relationship you’ve got bigger problems than tourists and small talk. I am not a mod, but I find making an uncalled for psychological diagnosis totally out of line. And jerkish. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/27 "2013-06-24T15:40:33Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Now that I’m preggo, I’m realizing having kids puts you in kind of a secret club, consisting of…well, a hell of a lot of people. There is a sort of solidarity among people with kids, and it provides this huge wealth of common ground between strangers. Two random people off the street may struggle to find a topic of mutual interest, but if you both have kids you’ve got all the conversation fodder you need. It finally happened to you. P.S. I’m joking. A little. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686/28 "2013-06-24T15:49:42Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > If you’re in your 50s and never had a romantic relationship **you’ve got bigger problems than tourists and small talk**. Anyway, the standard response would be something like: “No can’t stand the little buggers.” Please refrain from going out of your way to be this jerkish in the future. Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loaded-questions-so-are-you-married-have-kids/661686.md?page=1)