# Locked Down Laments (April Mini-Rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 31, 2020, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757 "2020-03-31T20:18:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/181 "2020-04-18T20:15:44Z")
I am also glad you were able to find a job so quickly, PHS. I hope everything else is going well, too! Last year, I carefully planted some catnip in a large pot, which I placed in a concrete floored gazebo. The plant got plenty of sun and water, the kitties got fresh nip and the plant seemed safely confined\*, all was good in my world. Last week, I started smelling just a hint of mint when the hounds came in. Today, I went around behind a storage shed and found an entire bed of runaway catnip!!! \*Catnip is a mint, and like any mint will take over a yard in no time at all if given the opportunity. Its also super hard to get rid of once its out of control. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/182 "2020-04-18T21:38:33Z")
I think your yard just became the neighborhood kitty party zone. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/183 "2020-04-18T22:38:19Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I am also glad you were able to find a job so quickly, PHS. I hope everything else is going well, too! Hey, PurpleHorseShoe, Iā€™d been following your adventures, so knew you found a place on the west coastā€¦ ā€¦of Michigan (didnā€™t you call it Buttfuck, MI in one thread?) But didnā€™t know about the job. Whatcha doon, and howā€™d you get it? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/184 "2020-04-19T05:11:27Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I think your yard just became the neighborhood kitty party zone. šŸ™‚ This will not be the first time Iā€™ve had a Kitty Opium Den in my yard. On the good side, its pretty and smells good. Bees and butterflies love it. It. Wonā€™t hurt the dogs when they eat it. I read that catnip tea is very relaxing, but the one time I tried it, fighting the cats off was NOT relaxing at all. I know I will never be able to get rid of it without chemical warfare, so I need to start thinking happy thoughts about it. (psssst **digs**! scroll up for PHS updates!) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/185 "2020-04-19T05:22:26Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > (psssst **digs**! scroll up for PHS updates!) I did! I searched all through this thread and a lot of othā€¦ oh, does the grocery rant imply that PHS is currently a grocery checker? Ohhhhā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/186 "2020-04-19T09:33:01Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > I thought I would be helpful and move part of the Giant Stick Pile into the burn barrel. Turns out that part of the Giant Stick Pile was a poison oak vine. > > Guess whoā€™s out of Tecnu soap? > > _itchy itchy itchy_ Please tell me the poison oak, and any other sticks it touched, is no longer housed in the burn barrel? Upend the whole thing and start over, if you have to. But NEVER BURN POISON ivy/oak/catnip ever!! You aerosolize the oil that causes the itchy rash - if you (or anyone downwind) breathes it in, you get poison ivy/oak/catnip rash coating your lungs. This will kill you, while you pray for death. (Wow. Iā€™m really touched that so many of yā€™all remember my trip planning thread, and I guess the earlier ā€œfuck this shitā€ thread was probably colorful enough. Short answer, Iā€™m in the far western ass-end of Michigan, and yes, landed a job at a grocery store about a day and a half before this whole ā€œessential businessā€ stuff became a thing. Good timing, too, otherwise I would be looking for online work right when half the nation started doing the same! Oh, and despite however disparaging I may sound - it really is the far ass-end of the state, and the highway peters out right by my home, which feels like living where The Sidewalk Ends - I am joking around, and genuinely love where Iā€™ve landed.) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/187 "2020-04-19T09:57:11Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > This will not be the first time Iā€™ve had a Kitty Opium Den in my yard. On the good side, its pretty and smells good. Bees and butterflies love it. It. Wonā€™t hurt the dogs when they eat it. I read that catnip tea is very relaxing, but the one time I tried it, fighting the cats off was NOT relaxing at all. I know I will never be able to get rid of it without chemical warfare, so I need to start thinking happy thoughts about it. Itā€™s been my understanding that not all of the cats are copacetic with all of the dogs. Does the dogs coming in smelling of catnip affect that dynamic at all? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/188 "2020-04-19T13:42:51Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Please tell me the poison oak, and any other sticks it touched, is no longer housed in the burn barrel? > > Upend the whole thing and start over, if you have to. > > But NEVER BURN POISON ivy/oak/catnip ever!! You aerosolize the oil that causes the itchy rash - if you (or anyone downwind) breathes it in, you get poison ivy/oak/catnip rash coating your lungs. This will kill you, while you pray for death. Oh, I know. I donā€™t know if it was a vine or if it made it into the burn barrel. My roommate burned all the sticks in there yesterday. I kept my windows firmly closed. Personally I think it was from the very lush poison ivy plant that was growing next to the Giant Stick Pile. That vine has since been dug up and replaced with a non-poisonous fern. And I found some Tecnu soap in my roommatesā€™ bathroom, so the worst of the itchy is gone. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/189 "2020-04-19T14:25:55Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \*Catnip is a mint, and like any mint will take over a yard in no time at all if given the opportunity. Its also super hard to get rid of once its out of control. If you plant some bindweed, itā€™ll take over from the catnip. But then youā€™ll have a yard filled with bindweed, which is IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/190 "2020-04-19T18:12:20Z")
How do nasturtiums (or jasmine, or other ground covering-type plants) fare against catnip/bindweed? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/191 "2020-04-19T22:44:27Z")
Nothing fares against bindweed, not even your lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/192 "2020-04-19T23:27:29Z")
[How to kill bindweed.](https://extension.oregonstate.edu/news/bidding-farewell-dreaded-bindweed) Warning. It takes \*years \*of effort. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/193 "2020-04-20T10:10:20Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > [How to kill bindweed.](https://extension.oregonstate.edu/news/bidding-farewell-dreaded-bindweed) > > Warning. It takes \*years \*of effort. None of that works if the bindweed is embedded within hedges and flower beds. And just mowing the lawn exacerbates the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/194 "2020-04-20T11:02:35Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Nothing fares against bindweed, not even your lawn. Kudzu? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/195 "2020-04-20T13:42:30Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Kudzu? I think theyā€™d join forces. Or thereā€™d be a weird, cosmic ray accident, theyā€™d cross-pollinate, and in 10 years the world will be a vast, vegetative mass of kudweed and nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/196 "2020-04-20T13:56:00Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Is ā€˜they keep doing karaoke with the windows open during lockdownā€™ considered a valid defense for killing a neighbour? Asking for a friend. Iā€™d acquit! ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/197 "2020-04-20T16:11:01Z")
I have a video chat appointment with my neurologist this afternoon. I brained my damage in 2016, and as a result, I have anosmia (no sense of smell), and persistent phantosmia (phantom smells). And trust me, the phantom smells arenā€™t McDonaldā€™s french fries, baking bread, or Cinnabon. Itā€™s usually a mix of rotten chemical or organic smells. I have jumped through every hoop imaginable so that I can have surgery to ablate my olfactory bulbs to remove the phantom smell. Today I hope to find out if the doctor I want to perform the surgery is willing to do it. But thereā€™s just been so many roadblocks and delays that I feel like Iā€™m going to have an anxiety attack even before my appointment. WHY WONā€™T SOMEONE CUT MY BRAIN OPEN!!!??? ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/198 "2020-04-20T21:20:42Z")
I havenā€™t had cable / internet in my home for about five years. Combination of factors - Iā€™m away a lot for work, and I got fed up with Time Warnerā€™s (now known by another name, but itā€™s the same assholes) bullshit. So today I call to inquire about re-activating my service. The following ensues: 1. Phone system tries everything it can to prevent me from actually speaking to someone. I eventually stonewall it into giving me a rep. 2. Wait on hold a long time. OK, understandable given the Covid situation. 3. I tell the rep I only want information, not to actually trigger my reactivation. He says he has to get certain information from me first. Fine, but I reiterate not to put an order through. He agrees. 4. He answers my questions, I select plan 34-C, but again tell him I havenā€™t decided and Iā€™ll call back to actually pull the trigger. Rep tells me heā€™s putting me on a list because everything is backed up and this will smooth the process later if I do decide to go with it. 5. Once more I ask, ā€œYou do understand Iā€™m not actually ordering the service at this time, right?ā€ Oh yes, he says. Weā€™ll send you an email. 6. An hour later I get an email confirming Iā€™ve completed my order, equipment is being shipped\* and hereā€™s what Iā€™m being charged\*\*. 7. Back on the phone to tell them, as politely as possible, that I now remember why I canceled years ago and to shove it up their asses\*\*\*. What is it with these companies? Do the reps work on commission? Is that why they were apparently so hot to get me signed up and finalized? Fuck 'em. Iā€™ll do without. Got plenty of books here. - Nobody bothered to ask me for my mailing address, which is different from my physical address. I tried explaining that to rep #2, but itā€™s apparently beyond the grasp of this companyā€™s logistics. \*\* Thank dog I never actually gave them my credit card info. Not sure how they expected to collect on this used car salesman ramrod job they tried to do on me. \*\*\* I make a point of telling the phone rep Iā€™m in no way angry with them individually or personally, and I thank them for speaking with me. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/199 "2020-04-20T21:44:54Z")
My 85 year old Dad, who does pretty much nothing except sit and watch Fox news anyway, is ready to march down to the state capitol, torch and pitchfork held high. Because of the absolutely unconscionable conditions of having casinos and restaurants shut down. This from a guy who spent most of my childhood preaching stories of the hardships _his_ regeneration is able to endure with quiet dignity and forbearance, that would make _my_ generation hide in a hole and whine themselves to death. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/200 "2020-04-20T21:56:44Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I think theyā€™d join forces. Or thereā€™d be a weird, cosmic ray accident, theyā€™d cross-pollinate, and in 10 years the world will be a vast, vegetative mass of kudweed and nothing else. Itā€™s the latest kaiju: Bindzu! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=11)