# Locked Down Laments (April Mini-Rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 31, 2020, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757 "2020-03-31T20:18:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/201 "2020-04-20T23:30:02Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > It’s the latest kaiju: Bindzu! I’ll allow it. This is now head canon. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/202 "2020-04-21T00:20:16Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I’ll allow it. > This is now head canon. 😃 I have a mental image of a giant rubber-suited monster shooting vines that wrap around its enemy and pulling it to the ground. The vines multiply until the foliage completely encase its victim and devours it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/203 "2020-04-21T12:53:09Z")
Yesterday “must wear a mask/face covering” went into effect for many Pennsylavania businesses, including mine. We have a sign on the door that says, “STOP. You must be wearing a mask/face-cover to enter this building. If you enter without a mask, the police will be called.” The sign also has our phone number if there are questions, as well as the specifics of governor Tom Wolf’s order. It only takes one. The third (of five) people who entered yesterday wasn’t wearing a mask, although she’d read the sign. My receptionist picked up her phone and loudly announced, “I’m calling the police”, and the woman stepped back out and called from her cell. I ended up talking to her. Her points (and my replies) follow. [ul] [li]I didn’t know about this. It has been on the news for 4 days now. Regardless, you know now.[/li][li]I don’t have a mask. Not my problem. Make one. Use a bandana. Don’t be ridiculous.[/li][li]I don’t think masks work. Again, not my problem. Talk to the governor.[/li][li]You can’t tell me what to do. I’m not. I’m simply following the governor’s order.[/li][li]I’ll take my business elsewhere. _click_[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/204 "2020-04-21T14:28:46Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > [ul] > [li]I didn’t know about this. It has been on the news for 4 days now. Regardless, you know now.[/li][li]I don’t have a mask. Not my problem. Make one. Use a bandana. Don’t be ridiculous.[/li][li]I don’t think masks work. Again, not my problem. Talk to the governor.[/li][li]You can’t tell me what to do. I’m not. I’m simply following the governor’s order.[/li][li]I’ll take my business elsewhere. _click_[/li][/ul] I’d end that:[ul] [li]I’ll take my business elsewhere. _click_[/li][li]Thank God.[/li][/ul] In over a decade, I’ve never heard a customer storm out with that pronouncement where the staff didn’t utter a sigh of relief. Not _once_ did anyone want a customer like that to return. Good for you, standing up for the rule of law… and the rule against jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/205 "2020-04-21T17:19:28Z")
I made one of those bandana masks and I love wearing it to the store. I feel like a bandito. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/206 "2020-04-21T17:20:51Z")
I’m mildly concerned that my mother is going to turn her bandana-style mask into an opportunity for old-timey robber cosplay. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/207 "2020-04-21T17:33:47Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I’d end that:[ul] > [li]I’ll take my business elsewhere. _click_[/li][li]Thank God.[/li][/ul] > In over a decade, I’ve never heard a customer storm out with that pronouncement where the staff didn’t utter a sigh of relief. Not _once_ did anyone want a customer like that to return. > > Good for you, standing up for the rule of law… and the rule against jerks. Yeah, I’ll admit to being a bit of an ass in situations like this. The _click_ was me hanging up. Once someone “threatens” to take their business elsewhere, I’m done. I do keep track of people who say they’re taking their business elsewhere, or notifying their lawyer, or whatever. If they return days/weeks/months later, I’ll act surprised, and remind them about their prior pronouncement. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/208 "2020-04-21T17:57:00Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > I made one of those bandana masks and I love wearing it to the store. I feel like a bandito. 🙂 I tried making a mask using a folded bandana and two rubber bands as shown on the CDC website. I couldn’t breath, my glasses kept fogging up, and the rubber bands kept slipping out of where they were tucked in. I finally ended up just folding the bandana in half and tying it around my head. Now I’m wondering where I can get a matching sombrero. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/209 "2020-04-21T18:03:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yeah, I’ll admit to being a bit of an ass in situations like this. The _click_ was me hanging up. Once someone “threatens” to take their business elsewhere, I’m done. > > I do keep track of people who say they’re taking their business elsewhere, or notifying their lawyer, or whatever. If they return days/weeks/months later, I’ll act surprised, and remind them about their prior pronouncement. Reminds me of a story Larry David recounted about working as a writer on SNL. After having none of his bits put on the air for an extended period, he got angry with the SNL producers, cussed them out and stormed out saying he quit. This was a Friday. After he calmed down, he started to regret his decision and called a friend to ask what he should do. His friend advised him to just return to work on Monday and act like nothing happened. So that’s what he did. Monday was awkward because people looked surprised to see him back at work. But management said nothing and he continued to work there for another two years. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/210 "2020-04-21T19:59:37Z")
Here’s my rant: I’m sick to fucking Death of the phrase “These Uncertain Times”. Every fucking 5 minutes on every fucking channel, every fucking commercial. And c’mon. Really, all fucking times are ‘uncertain’. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/211 "2020-04-21T23:37:26Z")
**Gatopescado** : Check out Posts #113 & 115 in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/212 "2020-04-22T00:27:27Z")
**Gatopescado** has a very valid rant, IMO. Actually, its even more valid now because it didn’t fucking stop when folks started complaining! I looked at your bindweed link, **Morgyn**. Just the sort of plant I want to avoid dealing with! I went after it with a hoe today (boredom inspired), but don’t think I did more than cut down the old stuff so the new sprouts can take over. Idiot dogs don’t seem willing to dig back there, its much more fun to try to dig under the walkways. ---
**Author:** ![slumtrimpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@slumtrimpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slumtrimpet)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/213 "2020-04-22T00:38:38Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > … > > I looked at your bindweed link, **Morgyn**. Just the sort of plant I want to avoid dealing with! > > I went after it with a hoe today (boredom inspired), but don’t think I did more than cut down the old stuff so the new sprouts can take over. Idiot dogs don’t seem willing to dig back there, its much more fun to try to dig under the walkways. Get some chickens. Fence them into the bindweed area. Problem solved + fresh eggs. Win/win. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/214 "2020-04-22T00:46:12Z")
> [@slumtrimpet](#): > > Get some chickens. Fence them into the bindweed area. Problem solved + fresh eggs. Win/win. Their roots go down 9 feet. I don’t think chickens are going to do it. Goats might. Plus, free milk. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![slumtrimpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@slumtrimpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slumtrimpet)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/215 "2020-04-22T00:48:56Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Their roots go down 9 feet. I don’t think chickens are going to do it. > > Goats might. Plus, free milk. 😉 Yeah, but chickens are persistent. Every time those roots try to grow above 2 feet deep they’ll get the crap kicked out of them. They’ll give up eventually. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather gather eggs whenever than have to milk goats at 5am. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/216 "2020-04-22T00:51:57Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Reminds me of a story Larry David recounted about working as a writer on SNL. After having none of his bits put on the air for an extended period, he got angry with the SNL producers, cussed them out and stormed out saying he quit. This was a Friday. After he calmed down, he started to regret his decision and called a friend to ask what he should do. His friend advised him to just return to work on Monday and act like nothing happened. So that’s what he did. Monday was awkward because people looked surprised to see him back at work. But management said nothing and he continued to work there for another two years. And, like so many of Larry’s Life Events, it later happened to George Costanza. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/217 "2020-04-22T02:29:08Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Here’s my rant: I’m sick to fucking Death of the phrase “These Uncertain Times”. > > Every fucking 5 minutes on every fucking channel, every fucking commercial. > > And c’mon. Really, all fucking times are ‘uncertain’. Calm down. We’re all in this together. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/218 "2020-04-22T11:10:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Here’s my rant: I’m sick to fucking Death of the phrase “These Uncertain Times”. > > Every fucking 5 minutes on every fucking channel, every fucking commercial. > > And c’mon. Really, all fucking times are ‘uncertain’. I’ve made a vow that every time someone on TV says “these uncertain times” or “these unprecedented times” I will turn them off and watch something else. Personally I’m going with a phrase Lewis Black coined back in 2016: [fictional times](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/04/lewis-black-rants-audible-donald-trump). Truer now than ever. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/219 "2020-04-22T13:37:53Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Calm down. We’re all in this together. 😃 We’ll get through this! - and if we don’t, you’ll hardly be in any position to complain ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/220 "2020-04-22T14:35:32Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > We’ll get through this! And thanks to their dedicated employees, rolls of Charmin and AssSoft are, well, rolling off the assembly lines and straight into the cupboards and closets of hoarders. Not too many people around here are doing the mask/bandanna thing inside stores. More than once I’ve been the only (or nearly only) person covering up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=12)