# Locked Down Laments (April Mini-Rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 31, 2020, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757 "2020-03-31T20:18:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/161 "2020-04-17T16:53:50Z")
I just was talking with a time traveler from the future! He asked me what year it was and I told him it was 2020. He said, “ahhhh, yes, the first year of quarantine.” ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/162 "2020-04-17T17:28:42Z")
The potheads downstairs have been repeatedly ignoring lockdown. One occasion led to me being awoken by a car alarm during a sleep over. You’d think anyone who’d take plague seriously would be modern descendants of people nearly exterminated–often deliberately–by disease. I am becoming more of a misanthrope, which I didn’t think was possible. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/163 "2020-04-17T22:48:56Z")
My wife was relaxing in the sun on our deck yesterday. It’s relatively quiet back there, with plants and birds and a beautiful dogwood tree. Suddenly, she hears the neighbor guy behind us talking to his kid about building a skateboard ramp in the back yard. Fuck me, are you kidding? The renter next door to us built one a couple of years ago, and the best day of that year was when someone stole it. Noisy motherfucker. So she’s going to call him today and politely discuss it with him, and ask him to please not build the goddamn thing. The noise when it’s being used would mean that we couldn’t have our door or windows open back there, nor have peaceful use of our property. I hope he listens to reason, as he seems like a nice enough guy. And I understand that his kid is probably bored. Well, shit, we’re all fucking bored, but that deck is our relaxation during all this mess. I really don’t need the aggravation. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/164 "2020-04-17T23:34:38Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Have you tried loading the Metal Pro app onto your PC? Yeah, I know it’s a longshot. Turns out that sometimes FB is shit and this is a known, intermittent issue. Switching from Most Recent to Top Stories has solved the issue, but I hate, hate, hate Top Stories so I hope it gets its shit together. Soon. And **Tripler**? You made me smile, even though I have never listened to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/165 "2020-04-17T23:41:13Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Turns out that sometimes FB is shit and this is a known, intermittent issue. Switching from Most Recent to Top Stories has solved the issue, but I hate, hate, hate Top Stories so I hope it gets its shit together. Soon. > > And **Tripler**? You made me smile, even though I have never listened to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. I had a problem yesterday where I couldn’t even get to Most Recent. The circle just spun and spun and never ended. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/166 "2020-04-17T23:51:04Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > I had a problem yesterday where I couldn’t even get to Most Recent. The circle just spun and spun and never ended. Yep. Facebook has been having issues. I wish I could can it altogether, but too many other people I know and care about use it as a messaging/info app these days so I am stuck with it if I want to stay in touch with them. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/167 "2020-04-18T00:51:39Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > Yep. Facebook has been having issues. I wish I could can it altogether, but too many other people I know and care about use it as a messaging/info app these days so I am stuck with it if I want to stay in touch with them. Same here. And I really despise feeb. Seriously, sometimes I think their actual plan is to make you care less about people you care about. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/168 "2020-04-18T02:53:52Z")
How stupid is this? I’ve been trying to get grocery delivery (Giant Direct/Peapod). Wasn’t able to get delivery, did get a timeslot for pickup. (Two weeks ago I put in, for tomorrow morning!) I can’t find out how/where to checkout. They’re supposed to bring it out to the car, I think? Or do I go in? You’d think there’s be information on that in the Help, but NoooOOOOooo. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but seriously, how hard can it be to provide instructions on the process of picking up your order and checking out, especially since the plague is affecting how they do it? ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/169 "2020-04-18T04:12:36Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > How stupid is this? I’ve been trying to get grocery delivery (Giant Direct/Peapod). Wasn’t able to get delivery, did get a timeslot for pickup. (Two weeks ago I put in, for tomorrow morning!) > > I can’t find out how/where to checkout. They’re supposed to bring it out to the car, I think? Or do I go in? You’d think there’s be information on that in the Help, but NoooOOOOooo. > > Guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but seriously, how hard can it be to provide instructions on the process of picking up your order and checking out, especially since the plague is affecting how they do it? If it’s anything like Kroger pickup, there will be assigned spots for pickups so look for those. With Kroger, each spot has a numbered sign with a phone number to call to let them know which spot you are in. Someone brings the groceries out and loads them. You don’t check out. They will hand you your receipt or put it in one of the bags (my choice - no contact). Your credit card is charged only for the items you actually receive. I’ve done it twice, didn’t get everything I ordered either time and my card was charged appropriately. That sucks that you had to wait 2 weeks. I put in an order tonight for pickup tomorrow between 5 and 6. This was a process Kroger charged for pre-corona so they’ve already had lots of experience with it and do it very well. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/170 "2020-04-18T05:29:15Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > My wife was relaxing in the sun on our deck yesterday. It’s relatively quiet back there, with plants and birds and a beautiful dogwood tree. Suddenly, she hears the neighbor guy behind us talking to his kid about building a skateboard ramp in the back yard. Fuck me, are you kidding? The renter next door to us built one a couple of years ago, and the best day of that year was when someone stole it. Noisy motherfucker. > > So she’s going to call him today and politely discuss it with him, and ask him to please not build the goddamn thing. The noise when it’s being used would mean that we couldn’t have our door or windows open back there, nor have peaceful use of our property. I hope he listens to reason, as he seems like a nice enough guy. And I understand that his kid is probably bored. Well, shit, we’re all fucking bored, but that deck is our relaxation during all this mess. I really don’t need the aggravation. Maybe you could take a page from [Eloise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloise_(books)), and send him some skateboard trucks with cotton wheels. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/171 "2020-04-18T05:30:59Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > How stupid is this? I’ve been trying to get grocery delivery (Giant Direct/Peapod). Wasn’t able to get delivery, did get a timeslot for pickup. (Two weeks ago I put in, for tomorrow morning!) > > I can’t find out how/where to checkout. They’re supposed to bring it out to the car, I think? Or do I go in? You’d think there’s be information on that in the Help, but NoooOOOOooo. > > Guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but seriously, how hard can it be to provide instructions on the process of picking up your order and checking out, especially since the plague is affecting how they do it? Are they answering the phone? Supermarkets in my region are answering the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/172 "2020-04-18T06:28:29Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Your husband has PMS? > > My new shit-list item: people who buy things in tall, skinny glass bottles (think classic Coke, or root beer) and delicately balance them ever so precariously upright, like ballerinas _en pointe_, on the goddamn moving belt, yanno, the one that stops and starts abruptly. > > The glass items, with their high center of gravity, inevitably hit the stopping point at the cashier’s scanner and … what happens next? That’s right. Glass bottles crashing into each other, and falling the fuck over. Because you never buy just one of 'em, there’s always five or six or nineteen. And now they all crashed and fell over, and your soda and beer is foaming inside. Boo hoo. Who set them up like dominoes? You did, asshole. > > Quit glaring at me because the precious carbonation got shaken out of your drink, thanks to your stupidity. I’m busy glaring at you, see, because full glass bottles rapping me on the knuckles like an angry nun with a ruler hurts, and I have enough pain as it is without your pile-on. > > Hey. People who buy shit in glass bottles: for the love of anything you consider okay in life, please lay them DOWN, they’re gonna fall over anyway. > If you prefer they not roll around like a newbie stuntman apprentice desperately putting out a fire on his own shoulders, then put them lengthwise (parallel with the belt, head to toe) but it’s not like I give a shit about the carbonation of your beverage. You do; I don’t. > > But quit glaring at me because your own stupidity means your overpriced beer or soda or whatever just got the absolute shit shaken out of it. You’re lucky it didn’t turn into broken glass shards everywhere. No wait, \*I’m the lucky one - guess who has to clean that pointy goddamn shit up otherwise? While having zero health coverage? > > Gravity, sweetums. Not just a good idea - it’s the law! > > P.S. Oy, people who lay stuff on the belt in some coherent order (heavy boxes together either first or last, eggs and tomatoes and delicate greens near each other, cold/frozen shit all in a group) you are saints, and I love you all. I’ll gently Tetris all your shit perfectly, just as my way of saying thanks. Cradled your lone tomato in the crook of the bananas to keep it safe from smushing, and the avocado is perched on the eggs, for the same reason. > > P.P.S. if you want to minimize plastic waste and do not put your produce into anything, that’s cool and the environment thanks you and stuff, but when you just lay unbundled broccoli or leafy greens nakedly _directly onto that - urp - nasy ass belt_ please don’t also glare at me for grabbing your food with my bare hands. > > P.P.P.S. order groceries by delivery so you don’t have to watch a nasty minimum wage earner touch your food … and never get to see what happens to that cilantro before it’s drop-kicked to your door. Go ahead. Let your imagination roam for a moment. > > Be nice to the crap workers. We mostly want to do our job well, and most of us genuinely want to see you happy. Our job involves your food. Be nice, ferfuckssake. God, I love you ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/173 "2020-04-18T12:59:25Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Are they answering the phone? Supermarkets in my region are answering the phone. Foolishly, I did not check before they’d closed for the night. I’ll be calling them in a few minutes, though. But still, the instructions should have been easily findable on their web site. There’s no excuse for the absence. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/174 "2020-04-18T13:20:20Z")
I thought I would be helpful and move part of the Giant Stick Pile into the burn barrel. Turns out that part of the Giant Stick Pile was a poison oak vine. Guess who’s out of Tecnu soap? _itchy itchy itchy_ ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/175 "2020-04-18T13:39:58Z")
Is ‘they keep doing karaoke with the windows open during lockdown’ considered a valid defense for killing a neighbour? Asking for a friend. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/176 "2020-04-18T14:00:24Z")
We had a skateboard ramp next door for years. It was loud, with the sound of the wheels amplified by the plywood ramp, and the shouts of “Awwwesome fakie, man!” or “Ha, you suck!” But at least they’re happy kids-having-fun noises. I got use to them, broke out the headphones when it got too much. Now, I miss the noise. The streets that were filled with those sounds are silent now. Karaoke with the windows open? Now, that’s evil. If you do get your sniper rifle out of storage, aim for the speakers, not the singers. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/177 "2020-04-18T15:16:38Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > And **Tripler**? You made me smile, even though I have never listened to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. ;)😃 Tripler Official Comic Relief of the 2020 Quarantine. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/178 "2020-04-18T16:45:12Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > …You made me smile, even though I have never listened to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Or you can listen to [Jonathan Coulton’s version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfoqd4hpPZo). Tied with Nina Gordon’s [acoustic Straight Outta Compton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2EGOB9-lc) for “cover least like the original”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/179 "2020-04-18T16:55:43Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Is ‘they keep doing karaoke with the windows open during lockdown’ considered a valid defense for killing a neighbour? Asking for a friend. It could be worse, they could be playing the bagpipes… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757/180 "2020-04-18T17:08:19Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Foolishly, I did not check before they’d closed for the night. I’ll be calling them in a few minutes, though. > > But still, the instructions should have been easily findable on their web site. There’s no excuse for the absence. Tell me about it. I waited in queue for half an hour the other day for tech support chat, only to find out that the agents are not able to provide support on the particular product line that their parent company also owns. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locked-down-laments-april-mini-rants/850757.md?page=10)