# Locusts! Prophecies! Redemption! Apocalypse! Your Favorite Book of the Bible, Please **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 16, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737 "2001-10-16T15:31:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/21 "2001-10-17T19:54:07Z")
It looks like the story of the penitent thief is not in Matthew, but is in Luke 23:39-43: > [@](#): > > And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save theyself, and us. But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due rewards of our deeds: but this man has done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily, I say unto thee, to day shalt thou be with me in paradise. Matthew gives us the centurian saying, “surely this man was the son of God,” however. (Didn’t John Wayne do the centurian in some movie?) Matthew probably is the most down-to-earth gospel, IMHO. You know the four symbols of the evangelists (the four living creatures before the throne of God in Revelations as applied to the gospel writers)? Matthew is traditionally symbolized as a man (showing Jesus’ humanity). [Here’s a nifty link to a page from the Book of Kells that show the four evangelists.](http://www.dubois.ws/people/paul/kells/4apostles-lg.jpg) There is so much good stuff–the story of Ruth and Naomi is so homely and kind. And **Slithy Tove** , to continue your corporate reading of Daniel, all the yes-men get whacked but the brave officer who dares to tell the CEO the truth about the CEO (feet of clay and all that) gets the promotion (hey, it could happen!). ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/22 "2001-10-17T20:20:45Z")
My favorite overall is probably _Psalms_. My favorite gospel would have to be _John_. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/23 "2001-10-17T20:36:43Z")
I like Daniel. It’s rather entertaining. I also like Ecclesiastes, 'cause of the way it’s written. And some parts of the Gospel of John are beautiful. So says the unredeemable agnostic. ---
**Author:** ![TheeGrumpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheeGrumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheeGrumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/24 "2001-10-17T21:40:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mofo Rising \* > \*\*“Meaningless! Meaningless!” > says the Teacher. > “Utterly meaningless! > Everything is meaningless!” > > Ecclesiastes 1:2\*\* What’s that supposed to mean??? ---
**Author:** ![Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeremy_s_Evil_Twin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/25 "2001-10-17T22:52:56Z")
Well I could choose the ever-popular **Revelation** , with its Whore of Babylon and the Seven Vials and 1/3 of the earth burnt to a crisp…but that’s every teenager’s favorite, almost to the point of being a cliche… But really, my favorite is probably **Joel** : > [@](#): > > “Wake up, you drunkards, and weep! > Wail, all you drinkers of wine… > Put on sackcloth, O priests, and mourn; > Wail, you who minister before the altar.” > > “Blow the trumpet in Zion; > sound the alarm on my holy hill. > Let all who live in the land tremble, > for the day of the Lord is coming… > Before them fire devours, > behind them a flame blazes. > Before them the land is like the garden of Eden, > behind them, a desert waste.” > > “I will pour out my Spirit on all people. > Your sons and daughters will prophesy, > Your old men will dream dreams, > Your young men will see visions. > Even on my servants both men and women, > I will pour out my Spirit in those days… > The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood > Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.” Man, that would make a great heavy metal song. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/26 "2001-10-18T01:49:08Z")
The Book of Jonah is good. (And not just because it’s short.) Everyone gets hung up on the whole whale thing–“Is it a fish or is it a whale? Whales aren’t fish.” “Could someone have been swallwed by a whale and lived for three days?” “There was this one case…” “Oh, that’s an urban legend.”–but the story has a lot of nicely ironic touches, a good moral message, and definitely one of your more appealing Biblical portrayals of the Big Guy. (“You want me to slaughter this whole city full of kids and animals who never hurt anyone, yet you’re getting all weepy over this one tree which you didn’t even plant?”) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Zagna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@El\_Zagna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Zagna)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/27 "2001-10-18T03:05:05Z")
Humble Servant - Sorry it took me so long to respond to you, but I was so rattled by the notion that someone might actually flirt with me that I guess I lost my composure. Anyway, no, my user name has nothing to do with T. S. Elliot. It’s just that my first name’s Bill and my last name is Norton, so “bnorton”. And here’s another one of my favorite lines from Song of Songs: > [@](#): > > How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! > Your eyes behind your veil are like doves. > Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats frisking down the slopes of Gilead. > Your teeth are as white as sheep, newly shorn and washed. > They are perfectly matched; not one is missing. How’s that for a pickup line. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/28 "2001-10-18T04:22:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Humble Servant \* > **Katisha**! My favorite NT book is also Luke. I feel like I know you (not in the biblical sense, of course ;)). Hee hee hee…nice use of that particular phrase… 😉 If anyone knows the British folk-rock group Steeleye Span, they did a song based on parts of the Song of Songs. After I found out that was the source of the text, it bothered me a lot less that the beloved’s hair was compared to a flock of goats. I mean, I don’t know that I’d want my hair compared to goats… ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737/29 "2001-10-18T14:35:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bnorton \* > \*\*How’s that for a pickup line. \*\* ::Sigh:: Well aren’t you just dreamy! Here’s back atcha: > [@](#): > > Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; Thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-Rabbim; Thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus. 😉 **Grumpy** : The “everything is meaningless” bit from Ecclesiastes (“vanity of vanities, all is vanity, said the wise man” in the traditional King James language which is perhaps better known) is a comment on the fact that no human work is permanent. Building a trophy house? It will be a wreck in 200 years. Getting rich? You may lose it all tomorrow. Writing the most beautiful poetry the world has known? Even if it survives for 4,000 years, it will be lost eventually. Founding a government with just laws? Even if it’s “1,000-year reich,” it will crumble and turn to dust. Every effort of humans is nothing in the face of eternity. Thanks for that verse, **JET**. It really would make a good metal song. As **MEBuckner** notes, Jonah is another really interesting story that everyone seems to know superficially. Jonah doesn’t want to be a prophet (prophets are kooks, you see) but when forced to be a prophet, he at least wants his prophecy to be true–if the fire and brimstone don’t rain down, he’ll really look like a fool (the fact that the people repented in time–so what?). And you know what? People really do get attached to little things like trees, so that bit shows a good grasp of human psychology. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/locusts-prophecies-redemption-apocalypse-your-favorite-book-of-the-bible-please/87737.md?page=1)