# Long: If conservatives could think... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233 "2009-02-03T09:25:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Dostoyevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Dostoyevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dostoyevsky)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/181 "2009-02-06T04:35:32Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > It’s bigotry to notice that the conservatives I know IRL consistently deny facts that don’t support their statements? It’s flagrant bigotry to leave off the (_abracadabra_! appearing randomly from thin air) qualifier “IRL” in the thread title as well as repeated references to the term conservatives up until now. Nice try at bait-and-switch. Again, I, ask: > [@](#): > > Are you feigning a case study or just omniscient analysis? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/182 "2009-02-06T05:05:25Z")
I think I was pretty open that all the people whose conversations I mentioned were people I knew. I don’t have or report conversations with people I don’t know. And I don’t see where IRL would fit in the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Dostoyevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Dostoyevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dostoyevsky)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/183 "2009-02-06T05:10:18Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > I don’t have or report conversations with people I don’t know. You just: 1. Feel compelled to draw unsubstantiated correlations between conversationalists and their politics. (For the \*\*\*THIRD \*\*\* time I ask: case study or omniscient analysis?) 2. Prefer shitty thread titles that read, “If conservatives could think…” ETA: You don’t see how “IRL” could fit into the thread title? Really? Because… there’s wasn’t room or it wasn’t compatible with your being a bitch? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/184 "2009-02-06T05:25:20Z")
> [@Dostoyevsky](#): > > … You don’t see how “IRL” could fit into the thread title? Really? Because… there’s wasn’t room or it wasn’t compatible with your being a bitch? The latter, quite obviously. Are you sure you aren’t a conservative? ---
**Author:** ![Dostoyevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Dostoyevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dostoyevsky)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/185 "2009-02-06T05:29:22Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > The latter, quite obviously. So… the logical choice was to simply shit on people group X as opposed to some other title such as “My Dumb Friends.” (Which coincidentally is shorter than your current title selection so you would have had room for it: and it communicates specific complaints about specific people in your life without shitting on any demographic whole cloth with immaterial details such as their all being left handed.) But that would have been asking too much right? ---
**Author:** ![Dostoyevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Dostoyevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dostoyevsky)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/186 "2009-02-06T05:32:06Z")
But enough of this. I’ve wasted more braincells on you, **Hilarity N. Suze** , than I can justify. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/187 "2009-02-06T05:50:10Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Whacky shit I have heard conservatives say: > > Tax cuts create jobs. While not strictly true in a 2+2 = 4 sense, it’s probably even more stupid to imply that there isn’t a connection. Right now, if my taxes were about 20% lower I’d hire somebody. If I could grow by 20% I’d hire somebody. If I could hire somebody I’d likely grow faster do to the increase in productivity. So, for me, it’s currently true. However, it is not true for all people in all businesses in all economies. If you lowered the taxes for GM it would not likely add more jobs as they are suffering from overcapacity. So, saying “tax cuts creates jobs” is a lot like saying “antibiotics cure sickness.” It’s not true at all times. Doesn’t work on cancer. But saying “antibiotics don’t cure sickness” is really fucking stupid, because they do. > [@](#): > > The free market is more efficient than government. It is. Planned economies have proven themselves tremendously wasteful. They have little incentive towards efficiency. A profit motive is such an incentive. This is so basic and proven that I won’t even bother to waste my time with any idiot who is too stupid to argue otherwise. This further compounded by the bureacracy dillemma which basically demonstrates that you lose efficiency in organizations as they grow beyond 200 people. The real question is if a totally free economy is more efficient than a regulated economy. The answer to this is that regulation can potentially dramatically increase the efficiency of a market far beyond what it could achieve unregulated. Overregulation can also stifle it. IE Nash equilibrium. > [@](#): > > Government regulations are evil. Too general and undefined to be a debatable proposition. I’m sure some are and some aren’t. So, it’s so general that it’s both true and false. > [@](#): > > There are jobs Americans won’t do. Coolie? Just kidding. If Americans will work as Crackwhores, they’ll do anything. > [@](#): > > Same sex weddings will destroy the institution of marriage. That’s pretty stupid, I’ll admit. > [@](#): > > Abortion is the same as murder. It’s not the same. It **is** murder, IMO. > [@](#): > > A rising tide lifts all boats. This is what we call “a saying.” Literalists who assume it’s a universal truth at all times are the idiots here, not the ones saying it > [@](#): > > The terrorists are out to get us. You have a problem with this? Who were they trying to get on 9/11? Why don’t you got to the tribal region of Pakistan and ask them directly? Just be sure and pick out a casket first. > [@](#): > > Unions are destroying the economy. I’ll grant you this one, too. > [@](#): > > It is amazing what some people will believe. Meh. You’re right on a couple wrong on a couple and a couple are unproveable matters of opinion. All in all seeing as “Stupid things conservatives say” was your strawman to build, I’d say you did a piss poor job of it. If I was gonna build a strawmen to make liberals look stupid I could have done a better job. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/188 "2009-02-06T06:33:01Z")
Perhaps. But when you set out to make conservatives look stupid is when you _really_ shine. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/189 "2009-02-06T10:07:41Z")
> [@Tracy\_Lord](#): > > It seemed to me that that was more an opening for a discussion: “You’ve heard this from an authority, here’s an authority that says different, let’s talk about why!” Conservatives mostly don’t deal in whys. They’re believers in absolute truths. And one good indicator of an absolute truth is who the source is. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/190 "2009-02-06T13:52:36Z")
> [@Dostoyevsky](#): > > But enough of this. I’ve wasted more braincells on you, **Hilarity N. Suze** , than I can justify. Dude, you should post more often. You just completely owned Mr/s. Suze. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/191 "2009-02-06T13:53:55Z")
Also, I couldn’t bring myself to read this whole abortiion of a thread (I stopped a couple pages in and just read the current page). Did Hilarity N. Suze ever post a definition of “conservative”? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/192 "2009-02-06T14:40:44Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > We can start by agreeing that it is the libertarians who are evil and want to destroy the country. I work with a Ron Paul-worshipping, 9/11 Conspiracy believing libertarian who believes every Evil-Gummint conspiracy known to man. I find mockery is the best medicine. HIM: Why doesn’t anyone ever interview Ron Paul supporters? Huh? It’s proof of the liberal media conspiracy. ME: Because they’re all hiding in bunkers waiting for Colin Powell’s disaster to happen\*. -Joe \*Colin Powell, as part of the Evil Controlling Cabal, slipped up and stated publicly that there would be a major catastrophe on Jan 22nd or 23rd. I missed the mushroom cloud. You? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/193 "2009-02-06T14:47:51Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Dude, you should post more often. Yes, and in just that fashion, too. Maybe you and the Dude should just insert into every thread a standard macro-type post: “I haven’t read most of this thread, don’t have a braincell to spare, really, but thought I’d just add how the OP sucks eggs, and AYN ROOLZ!” Save us all a lot of effort, in the end. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/194 "2009-02-06T15:39:49Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Yes, and in just that fashion, too. Maybe you and the Dude should just insert into every thread a standard macro-type post: “I haven’t read most of this thread, don’t have a braincell to spare, really, but thought I’d just add how the OP sucks eggs, and AYN ROOLZ!” > > Save us all a lot of effort, in the end. Thanks. Well what do you know. In another pit thread people were jumping on my shit for arguing a sub-issue without taking a position on the main issue, and now you are jumping on my shit for essentially discussing the main issue instead of a sub-issue (which I didn’t even do in this thread). One might reasonably believe that any specific argument against me and the like-minded is just a smokescreen for the general hatred on this board for those who don’t cream their panties every time they think of Obama. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/195 "2009-02-06T15:56:33Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Yes, and in just that fashion, too. Maybe you and the Dude should just insert into every thread a standard macro-type post: “I haven’t read most of this thread, don’t have a braincell to spare, really, but thought I’d just add how the OP sucks eggs, and AYN ROOLZ!” > > Save us all a lot of effort, in the end. Thanks. Missed the edit window. Wanted to add: Also, Dostoyevsky made seceral specific(and effective and unanswered) arguments against the OP, so your characterization of his posts as “Ayn roolz” makes you appear foolish. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/196 "2009-02-06T16:45:28Z")
Don’t complicate things. AYN ROOLZ! pretty much covers your posts. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/197 "2009-02-06T17:27:41Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Don’t complicate things. AYN ROOLZ! pretty much covers your posts. “I’m a complete jackass” prett much covers yours (at least in this thread). Go read the Gitmo case files thread for an example of me busting chops with specific arguments that make no mention of Rand or anything related. Also, I believe you are only trying to intentionally rile me up, which makes you a troll (and a failed troll at that, which is really sad). ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/198 "2009-02-06T17:43:10Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Dude, you should post more often. You just completely owned Mr/s. Suze. An accomplishment about on par with being the cleanest cockroach under the sink: nice, but it don’t mean nuthin’. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/199 "2009-02-06T17:52:39Z")
Look who’s back to tell us all about it. ---
**Author:** ![aptronym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47774/32.png) [@aptronym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aptronym)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233/200 "2009-02-07T05:58:49Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Right now, if my taxes were about 20% lower I’d hire somebody. If I could grow by 20% I’d hire somebody. Corporate taxes are paid on profit that a company makes, not on its revenue. Lowering taxes by 20% is not equivalent to growing by 20%, and if you’re paying corporate taxes at all, you are making money. Lowering the tax rate can increase the number of people you can hire, but if you can’t hire anyone (negative income), you’re not paying taxes so a tax cut won’t help. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/long-if-conservatives-could-think/484233.md?page=11)