# Longest You've Gone Without Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567 "2008-12-03T21:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/1 "2008-12-03T21:22:43Z")
After reading the thread wrap-up for 2008, I saw several replies that listed lack of sex as one of the things that made those people’s years shitty. Now I didn’t think to put that down for myself, but it’s true (spouse has severe back problems that aren’t fixable except by really expensive surgery and time off from work that he can’t swing for such an extended period) and in the spirit of “misery loves company,” I thought I’d ask Dopers just how long was your longest dry spell. Unfortunately, I’ll be the sacrificial lamb here and say it’s been since June '05. So after 3 years, I’m definitely hoping the future will be brighter. You? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/2 "2008-12-03T21:27:26Z")
17 years. But once I lost my virginity, I don’t think I went more than 9 or 10 months without _something_ (from another person). Does oral count? Anal? Handjobs? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/3 "2008-12-03T21:31:13Z")
25 years. (Do I win? If so, do I get a prize?) ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/4 "2008-12-03T21:32:45Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > 25 years. (Do I win? If so, do I get a prize?) How do you go on living and maintain sanity? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/5 "2008-12-03T21:35:45Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > 25 years. (Do I win? If so, do I get a prize?) Not if that was you age when you lost your virginity. You have to have had sex, and then go without. I’m currently on an almost 5 year dry spell. Which I think is my longest. ---
**Author:** ![harmswai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/59ef9b/32.png) [@harmswai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmswai)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/6 "2008-12-03T21:38:10Z")
2 years, that was a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/7 "2008-12-03T21:44:08Z")
44 days. Around the third week masturbation didn’t even take the edge off. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I can’t even begin to imagine going months or years. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/8 "2008-12-03T21:49:52Z")
Yeah, to clarify some things… [ul] [li]We’re not talking before you lost your viginity here. Had it and then are ceasing to have any more at the moment.[/li][li]For the purposes of this thread, the criteria to be established is with regards to actual intercourse. If you’re (hopefully) having anything else, good on you, but let’s just stick to the “Tab A” into “Slot B” variety. Straight or same sex coupling equally applies.[/li][li]No prizes, but I’d certainly wish the Gift of Laidness on Ye All.[/li][li]Finally, if at all possible, can we keep this civil? Questions are certainly permissible (it’s up to the person addressed if they are willing to answer), but no judging please.[/li][/ul] Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/9 "2008-12-03T21:55:07Z")
I was going to say a few weeks, but if actual intercourse is the criteria…maybe 3 months I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/10 "2008-12-03T21:55:53Z")
About 6 months. If we’re counting the time before I lost my virginity, however, then it’s almost 19 years. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/11 "2008-12-03T22:00:12Z")
My answer used to be ten years, but while bitter about it, I was almost proud of it in an odd way. But that’s not the entire truth. A few “wet spells” punctuated it, so the real answer is probably three years. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/12 "2008-12-03T22:02:27Z")
I’ll amend my answer- since we’re talking penile/vaginal intercourse, it was about 3 years. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/13 "2008-12-03T22:23:17Z")
About 2 years I think - from age 16 to 18. I was pregnant, then gave birth, then was too busy with a baby and school and life to really even think about sex. Well, OK, I thought about it. I just didn’t have it. With another actual human being anyway. Beyond that… that being the longest dry spell ever, I don’t think I’ve ever gone longer than a couple of months between lovers or boyfriends. I get really cranky without a good dicking at least once or twice a week. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/14 "2008-12-03T22:27:27Z")
July '05-Oct '08 so just over 3 years. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/15 "2008-12-03T22:29:41Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Yeah, to clarify some things… > > [ul] > [li]We’re not talking before you lost your viginity here. Had it and then are ceasing to have any more at the moment.[/li][/ul] > > Thank you. Although TEN years?!! I think after than you are eligible for applying for some sort of common-law virginity. I’d have to calculate, but probably on average 6 months would be the longest. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/16 "2008-12-03T22:50:28Z")
:: mumble :: :: calculate :: Um…[sub]15 years and 6 months.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/17 "2008-12-03T22:51:17Z")
Just shy of four years. The last year or so I was drinking, I was too broken to even care. When I dried out, I took AA’s advice and waited a year before even thinking about getting involved with anyone. This was the best thing I could have done for myself - I was entirely too vulnerable to handle even a purely physical relationship, and and emotional one would have been a big dramatic disaster. Then, by the time my first year of sobriety was over and I realized dating was an option, I just didn’t feel ready. I was ready to have sex (and by ready I mean desperate), sure, but I still had no idea how to get to know people without the benefits of alcohol. I knew (thanks to 2 years of therapy & AA at that point) that I wasn’t emotionally capable of having no-strings attached sex, so I waited until I met someone I liked & trusted. It took a long goddamn time! This past summer I started dating a great guy and without getting graphic, the dry spell ended. We broke up after a few months because we realized we wanted different things out of life, but I’m glad for the way things happened. Dry spells are almost always going to be frustrating, but they’re not always a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/18 "2008-12-03T23:00:38Z")
The last couple years of my marriage. But the situation is now much changed. Much changed. As in, “Saharan rain forest” changed. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/19 "2008-12-03T23:13:34Z")
353 days. But who counts? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567/20 "2008-12-03T23:31:11Z")
Jesus, I feel bad for some of you! I came in here to bitch because I haven’t gotten any for 5 months. I am married though, so I think that’s practically a deal-breaker. You other marrieds, barring illness and such, how the hell do you put up with no sex. Come January, it will most likely end my marriage (well, among many other things, many of which a lot of you may know about!) As in the song, “…masturbation’s lost it’s fun…” you know, that Greenday song. I needs my sex and shouldn’t have to apologize! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longest-youve-gone-without-sex/475567.md?page=2)