# Longtime friends make good on pact to marry at 50 if still single **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2018, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046 "2018-06-13T19:29:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/21 "2018-06-14T22:16:30Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Right, that’s my point. If I’m not good enough to marry today, how exactly are you expecting me to be good enough to marry 20 years from now? I’m going to get better somehow? Because I can assure you that I’m not going to get better. I would say it’s fairly common that with any 2 people (especially opposite sex, tbh) when there is some gap between their “sexual market value,” those lines will eventually converge. Maybe no one is exactly getting “better,” but perhaps less of a drop off (combined with the other getting “worse”). In my late 30s, I am seeing a little bit of this 20 years post high school. In real life, a classmate who’s probably near “40 Year Old Virgin” territory recently landed the Prom Queen/cheerleader beauty, after she’s had several kids and relationships and presumably after she’s gotten her peak sex-having out of her system. For some people that’s like landing a “prize.” For me, I can’t go for that. I would just find the whole thing terribly depressing. If I wanted to list the girls from high school who wouldn’t talk to me or actively made fun of me then but would jump at a chance to date me now, all I would have to do is pull out the yearbook and start going down the line. Hell, that even happened within 5 years for some. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2018, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/22 "2018-06-14T22:39:08Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Right, that’s my point. If I’m not good enough to marry today, how exactly are you expecting me to be good enough to marry 20 years from now? I’m going to get better somehow? Because I can assure you that I’m not going to get better. My point exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2018, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/23 "2018-06-15T13:39:32Z")
There are lots of reasons why two people would not marry at a particular time, other than that one thinks they can do better. For one, the timing could have been all wrong. One or the other could be in a relationship already, or otherwise unavailable because of conflicting life choices. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2018, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/24 "2018-06-15T15:58:34Z")
Sounds like something Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn would do. ETA: cue Marvin Hamlisch score. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/25 "2018-06-18T14:16:41Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Right, that’s my point. If I’m not good enough to marry today, how exactly are you expecting me to be good enough to marry 20 years from now? I’m going to get better somehow? I think their look at marriage is a cold and practical one but a valid one. They knew and respected each other but thought perhaps they could get someone who was an even better fit, or - more likely - would sweep them off their feet. When that didn’t happen, they settled for the tried and true practical choice. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046/26 "2018-06-19T16:01:30Z")
I thought it was sweet at first, but I confess some of the comments here have left me a bit less touched by the story. Still, I’m an optimist at heart, and I hope they enjoy many happy years together - perhaps their marriage will be even better than they expect. My wife and I will celebrate our 28th anniversary in August. Some days I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have found her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/longtime-friends-make-good-on-pact-to-marry-at-50-if-still-single/816046.md?page=1)