# Look Jerk. Don't ever cook me a DEAD lobster again. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520 "2003-09-09T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/41 "2003-09-10T17:16:45Z")
I guess that I’ll never understand the attraction to eating what amounts to a glorified bug that is a bottom feeding scavanger. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/42 "2003-09-10T19:57:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*I guess that I’ll never understand the attraction to eating what amounts to a glorified bug that is a bottom feeding scavanger. \*\* The taste, man, the taste!!! There is absolutely nothing like it! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/43 "2003-09-10T20:22:46Z")
Popcorn’s like it… ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/44 "2003-09-10T21:53:36Z")
Once again, I find that I cannot identify with the posters on this board. 😕 **Phlosphr** has some bourgey-ass problems. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/45 "2003-09-10T22:24:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by karomon \* > \*\*Once again, I find that I cannot identify with the posters on this board. 😕 > > Phlosphr has some bourgey-ass problems. \*\* Why? Because he’s going apeshit over something you think is minor? Or because he’s eating lobster? Are you siding with the cook or the bug? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/46 "2003-09-10T22:26:11Z")
Never mind. I just deciphered what “bourgey-ass” means. Classist idiot… ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/47 "2003-09-10T22:29:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*I guess that I’ll never understand the attraction to eating what amounts to a glorified bug that is a bottom feeding scavanger. \*\* From **Uncle Beer** ’s link: > [@](#): > > \*\*Q. What do lobsters eat? > > A. Contrary to popular belief, lobsters are not scavengers. They eat fish, and animals that live on the bottom of the ocean, such as clams, snails, whelks, starfish, isopods and crabs. Lobsters are also cannibals, feeding on smaller, weaker lobsters. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/48 "2003-09-11T01:17:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > \*\*Not to rain on all you seafood lover’s parade, but this thread has me feeling horribly sorry for lobsters. ☹ > > Boiled alive or stabbed in the brain with a big ol’ knife. Sucks to be them. \*\* I agree with **Bella**. Poor things. ☹ Every time I see the poor things in the supermarket, with their claws restrained in those terrible rubber bands, I just want to rescue them all! I’ll eat meat, but nothing that I know was cooked alive. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/49 "2003-09-11T01:44:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monica \* > \*\*I’ll eat meat, but nothing that I know was cooked alive. \*\* That’s a moderately strange position. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/50 "2003-09-11T02:27:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*So. Lemme ask this of some people who apparently know lobster. I’ve always wanted to boil the thing in butter, 'stead a the usual water. Can this be done? \*\* No you can’t boil anything in butter but you can poach stuff if you keep the temperature down low enough. For real butter lovers it is even possible to poach eggs in butter (or olive oil if you prefer). They are ridiculously decadent on toast. The trick is to be slow and gentle otherwise you are deep frying. Clarified butter would permit more heat without burning but may not taste as good as your favourite butter. [Here](http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_19233,00.html) is a rather complicated poached lobster dish. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/51 "2003-09-11T03:08:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*Hey, if God didn’t want us to boil them bastards alive, he wouldn’t have made them taste so good. \*\* I _sooooo_ want that for my sig. ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/52 "2003-09-11T04:23:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monica \* > \*\*I agree with **Bella**. Poor things. ☹ > > Every time I see the poor things in the supermarket, with their claws restrained in those terrible rubber bands, I just want to rescue them all! I’ll eat meat, but nothing that I know was cooked alive. \*\* I thought that lobsters didn’t have nerves or something and didn’t feel pain. I’ll see if I can find a link. ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/53 "2003-09-11T04:55:09Z")
[This](http://www.offshorelobster.org/new%20web%20site/master%20pages/lobsterfacts.html) link (biased, Atlantic Offshore Lobstermans Assoc.) says no. [This](http://www.animalrightsvegan.com/lobsters.htm) link (biased - Animal Rights Vegan website) says yes. And [this](http://www.newsday.com/other/special/naturalworld/ny-fishpain3365668jul13,0,239363.story) link (Newsday, the most unbiased source I could find) says the answer is (suprise!) undecided. If you read the article I guess you could decide if you think the fish they studied were feeling pain or just reacting to a stimuli. Either way, I’ll still eat them. ---
**Author:** ![SunTzu2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@SunTzu2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunTzu2U)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/54 "2003-09-11T06:51:53Z")
Yeah they have a sayin don here in de bayou. “Donna eat no strait tail crawfish or they send you strait to da out house!” ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/55 "2003-09-11T13:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Classist idiot… Come on by the Phlosphr household and I’ll cook you a nice DEAD lobster…and we can philosophize about the upper Bourgeoisie sphincter club, because after the first bite you’ll wish it was boiled alive… ---
**Author:** ![smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/56 "2003-09-11T14:33:26Z")
Anyways, I was pontificating on the goodness that is grilled lobster. A point was made (by me) that a good and knowledgeable fidh market is invaluable when it comes to risking $50-60 worth of lobster on a grill. What I was told: 2.5lb bug, 28 minutes directly on the grill- no more, no less. To die for. The fat(?) between the shell and the meat slightly caramelizes, and one doesn’t even need butter anymore (though “one” might choose to go ahead and use it anyways 😉 ) A very modest proposal was made by someone who is, by nature, slightly apprehensive of social gatherings: maybe a New England Dopefest lobster/crab boil is required? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/57 "2003-09-11T14:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > \*\*Come on by the Phlosphr household and I’ll cook you a nice DEAD lobster…and we can philosophize about the upper Bourgeoisie sphincter club, because after the first bite you’ll wish it was boiled alive… \*\* _sigh_ I’m so misunderstood. "Classist idiot was in reference to the person who blasted you for your problems not being “street” enough. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/58 "2003-09-11T14:59:55Z")
Oh that was not directed towards you **jayjay** 🙂 it was directed towards the other poster… anyway… Grilling Lobster is sumptuously lordly. Harvest Moon (October), grill, beach, bushel of Lobsters, Bushel of Cherry Stones or steamers, Corn, fire, biscuits… Who’s in? I’m buy’in so it’s gotta be near me…southeastern Connecticut or soutwestern Rhode Island. ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/59 "2003-09-11T15:04:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*_sigh_ I’m so misunderstood. > > "Classist idiot was in reference to the person who blasted you for your problems not being “street” enough. \*\* Er - lot of misunderstandin’ going on, I guess. I didn’t mean to appear as though I was “blasting” **Phlosphr**. I’m sorry if it seemed I was being vicious or something, I was just kind of lamenting my own un-worldliness. ---
**Author:** ![smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520/60 "2003-09-11T15:05:47Z")
I’m SO in , if you’ll have me. Sounds like a perfect fall scene to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-jerk-dont-ever-cook-me-a-dead-lobster-again/200520.md?page=4)