# Look out Australia! Fred Phelps is headed Down Under! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758 "2004-02-06T01:01:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/21 "2004-02-06T16:48:17Z")
Now **gex gex** , don’t _make me_ call you a “varlet”! You just answer up, y’all hear? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/22 "2004-02-06T17:39:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Pastor Fred Phelps & Westboro Baptist Church picketed Matt’s funeral. They didn’t interview Pastor Phelps or any WBC member, yet featured them prominently and slanderously in The Laramie Project. Awww. They made fun of poor Freddy in the play. And they didn’t even interview him when he was picketing a funeral. It’s not fair! How _dare_ they ignore the great Pastor Phelps while he is doing the lord’s work - picketing funerals! ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/23 "2004-02-07T03:56:07Z")
Bosda, check out the link in Kambuckta’s post. Our Fred is a perhaps slightly less insane version of your Fred. He used to have some influence, but he’s pretty much a joke nowadays. Well, actually he always was a joke, but nowadays he’s seen as one as well as being one. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/24 "2004-02-07T04:17:46Z")
Actually, **Princhester** , I’ve just realized that the site I linked to (the Festival of Light homepage) doesn’t have any obvious mention of Fred Nile, so I can see why **Bosda** might be a bit confused. Fred Nile [basic bio here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Nile) is a Christian who has spent many years lobbying to restore his version of ‘morality’ to our government’s agenda. His favourite target has been the Gay and Lesbian Mardi-Gras, where, as others have indicated, his image has been one of the most popular effigies!! But he’s not as rabid or toxic as YOUR Fred by any stretch. And he’s getting old and decrepit and unable to rally much support for his loony views. Bit of a shame really…[sigh]…I used to enjoy seeing Fred Nile on the telly back in the eighties ranting and raving about how God was displeased with our behaviour. I WOULD like to see Fred Vs Fred in moral combat at Homebush though!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/25 "2004-02-07T04:28:10Z")
> [@Dinaroozie](#): > > **kambuckta:** Speaking as one who lives in Daylesford (near enough, at least), I feel confident that the locals could prepare an appropriate reception should Fred decide to grace us with his presence. Heh - that would be entertaining. > > ~ Isaac Which bit of ‘near enough’ to Daylesford are you from **Dinaroozie**? It’s a very nice part of the world, and I have spent many happy weekends in the bush there around Glenlyon…are you a native or a refugee to the region? And YES, I’m sure the locals COULD organize a wonderful reception for Fred…they could have a group _baptism_ at the Springs for starters. Oh, what a delicious image. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/26 "2004-02-07T04:58:03Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Actually, **Princhester** , I’ve just realized that the site I linked to (the Festival of Light homepage) doesn’t have any obvious mention of Fred Nile, so I can see why **Bosda** might be a bit confused. > > Fred Nile [basic bio here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Nile) is a Christian who has spent many years lobbying to restore his version of ‘morality’ to our government’s agenda. His favourite target has been the Gay and Lesbian Mardi-Gras, where, as others have indicated, his image has been one of the most popular effigies!! Rather ironically, [Pride month](http://www.pridewa.asn.au/view.php/mediarelease?ArtID=23) in Perth last November was named the “Festival of Light”–the same as Fred’s loony outfit! No parallel was intended–apparently–but Fred was not pleased. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/27 "2004-02-07T05:42:33Z")
So, Sydney, Australia is the only place in the world where this play is being put on? 😕 No, couldn’t be. It’s because it’s Mardi Gras, too, isn’t it? And Fred couldn’t pass up the chance to sample the fleshpots of Sodom during Mardi Gras… I notice he’s scheduled his appearance for the last performance. [http://www.mardigras.org.au/MardiGras2004/Events/Theatre.htm](http://www.mardigras.org.au/MardiGras2004/Events/Theatre.htm) > [@](#): > > WHEN: 25 Feb 2004 8:00 PM-10:00 PM > 26 Feb 2004 8:00 PM-10:00 PM > 27 Feb 2004 8:00 PM-10:00 PM > 28 Feb 2004 8:00 PM-10:00 PM > WHERE: The Cellar Theatre (Holme Building, Science Road, University Of Sydney) I guess so they can’t threaten to have him arrested if he comes back, because he won’t be coming back, period. Plus, he’s apparently taking the added precaution of doing his picketing a good two hours before the performance begins, at 8 p.m. He doesn’t want to get arrested, he just wants to be able to tell his followers that he Struck A Blow For Decency. Just another Fred Phelps Hit and Run. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/28 "2004-02-07T06:30:19Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Better yet - release the dingoes! A dingo ate my bigot. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/29 "2004-02-07T08:18:32Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > A dingo ate my bigot. Damn. Beat me to it by minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/30 "2004-02-07T08:19:37Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Damn. Beat me to it by minutes. Or, perhaps, two hours and change. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/31 "2004-02-07T09:01:27Z")
Gee, it would be a shame if something bad happened. By the way guys, the first 14 beers are on my tab. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/32 "2004-02-07T09:13:53Z")
I gotta warn you, Australian, it’s going to seriously damage your reputation if he comes back here in one piece. Or at all. ---
**Author:** ![blackhobyah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blackhobyah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blackhobyah)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/33 "2004-02-07T11:05:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\* Dinaroozie\*\* > Speaking as one who lives in Daylesford (near enough, at least), I feel confident that the locals could prepare an appropriate reception should Fred decide to grace us with his presence. Heh - that would be entertaining. Hey Dinaroozie, I’m only about 20kms out of Daylesford. I think we should just gather a few Daylesford locals, point and Fred and whisper, “he’s a tourist”. At the end of summer that’s just about enough to cause a general lynching. David Irving has actually been refused a visa to Australia on three occasions on the grounds that he fails to meet the requirement that he be of good character judged against these sections of the Migration Act: ``` ** the person's past criminal conduct, general conduct or association with an organisation which, it is reasonably suspected, is or has been involved in criminal conduct; and * if the person were allowed to enter Australia there is a significant risk that the person would vilify a segment of the Australian community, or incite discord in or represent a danger to the Australian community or a segment of the community.* ``` I wonder if the same might happen to Phelps? I can’t really see him making much headway in Sydney. Sure there are nutjobs there, same as everywhere, but there’s too much sun and blue water for Sydneysiders to want to waste their time frothing at the mouth about sodomites. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/34 "2004-02-07T12:44:23Z")
**Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** , Fred Nile is, as **kambuckta** and **Princhester** said, kind of our local version of Fred Phelps. He’s kind of Fred Phelps without lots of Christian Right-wingers behind him. His insanity has been dulled because there’s no-one around who gives a shit. That’s why we have to trick them into fighting each other. If they meet up in the local pub, they could become best mates. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/35 "2004-02-07T14:21:20Z")
I want a full report from the OzDopers on Feb 29…details, what you did with the leftover body parts, etc. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/36 "2004-02-07T17:59:48Z")
\ And now we’re stalking the wily North American Homophobe. These little buggers are dangerous! Somebody’s introduced this one from the United States, and we’ve got to get him out of here before he can cause serious damage. Fortunately, I’ve got some tools here that’ll let me take care of this little bugger humanely. {Steve holds up a baseball bat and a roll of duct tape} \ Now, we’ve got to lure him out before he can make his way to the Mardi Gras. My wife, here, has volunteered to mash lips with this lovely sheila on this here street corner. \ I met Julia here in this bar, and she agreed to help me lure out this little menace. Isn’t that right, Julia? \ That’s right. Now shut up and kiss me. {Terri and Julia start going at it with great gusto} \Crikey! I’m starting to get a little randy here, I’m not afraid to tell ya. But I can’t let that distract me… Bugger! Here he comes! {Steve hides behind a car} {Fred Phelps approaches, carring a sign saying “God Hates Poofters”} \Sodomites! God will punish you for your wicked ways! Leviticus… \ Now you see why we’ve got to keep these dangerous foreign species out of Australia. Did you know that introduced species have nearly wiped out the Kiwi in New Zealand? Anyway, Terri and Julia are still going strong out there. Good job, girls! Now, let’s go get that little bugger. {Steve comes out from behind the car, gripping the bat} \ …it is an ABOMINATION unto the LORD _WHACK_ _unf_ \ No worries, there, mate! You’ll be just fine. {Steve starts binding Fred’s hands and feet with the duct tape} \ Now, with these little suckers, you’ve got to watch out for the mouth. I’ve wrangled crocs for years, and they’ve got nothing on these guys. Unfortunately, I’ve left the ball gag at home, so I’ll just have to improvise. {Steve removes a boot and peels off a nasty, sweat-stained sock} \ Crikey! That’s ripe! {Steve jams the sock in Fred’s mouth and starts wrapping duct tape around his head} \ Terri, would you mind giving me a hand with this guy? \ Mmmph mmph mmph mmph! \ Okay, I think I can do this one by myself. {Steve picks up Fred and throws him over his shoulder} \ Okay, then, I’m off to the airport to get this little guy back home. {Steve’s cell phone starts ringing} \ Oh, Crikey. {answers} Hello? Oh, hey there. What? They don’t? Well then what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Oh, all right then. {beep} Well, that was the Discovery Channel in America. Apparently, they’ve got more of these little guys than they want, and they certainly don’t want this one back. So I’m off to find a humane way to dispose of this one. Terri? {Terri and Julia are still going at it. Terri has her hand down the back of Julia’s skirt. Moaning is getting louder} \ Crikey! Hey, camera guy, just keep shooting those two. And don’t let them get away. In fact, I’ll get more tape on the way back. {ROLL CREDITS} ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/37 "2004-02-07T19:12:10Z")
Bewdiful **Tentacle Monster**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/38 "2004-02-08T04:41:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I gotta warn you, Australian, it’s going to seriously damage your reputation if he comes back here in one piece. Or at all. Now hang on a gosh darned second. _You_ spawned the guy. _You_ let him live, hell, there’s large elements of your community that _cheer the guy on_, you live in the country with the lax gun laws, and _you’ve_ let him stay in one piece all these years, but if he comes over here and we don’t deal with him “_it’s going to seriously damage our reputation_”? What does that say about _your_ reputation 😉 ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/39 "2004-02-08T05:20:24Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Now hang on a gosh darned second. _You_ spawned the guy. _You_ let him live, hell, there’s large elements of your community that _cheer the guy on_, you live in the country with the lax gun laws, and _you’ve_ let him stay in one piece all these years, but if he comes over here and we don’t deal with him “_it’s going to seriously damage our reputation_”? > > What does that say about _your_ reputation 😉 You know what they say: Guns don’t kill people, blue-ringed octopi, saltwater crocodiles, sea snakes, taipans, and funnel spiders kill people. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758/40 "2004-02-08T05:28:03Z")
Just continuing the fine American traditions of subcontracting and outsourcing jobs. They’re all going oversees. 😉 Besides, nobody else in America is responsible for _Kansas_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/look-out-australia-fred-phelps-is-headed-down-under/227758.md?page=3)