# Looking for a good reply **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 9, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459 "2012-11-09T06:47:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/1 "2012-11-09T06:47:24Z")
I am going to the east coast and sometimes my bro in law has a little get together with all my inlaws. Their brother, my late husband, died about 4 1/2 years ago. Most of the inlaws are born again. I don’thave much to do with them but I do like my one bro in law. So I spend a few hours with mostly uncomfortable people because I see my husband in each of them. And to be respectful to the bro in law I like. This will be the third time I have seen them since the death of my husband. One of the sis in laws has asked me both times what is my worth. I find it very rude. I respond by saying I cant believe anyone would ask me that question. I need to be ready this time. What would your response be? ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/2 "2012-11-09T06:56:30Z")
I find the best answer to such a question is no answer. Just a blank stare. Make sure you make eye contact so the person knows you heard the question. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/3 "2012-11-09T07:15:20Z")
What is your worth as in how much money do you have? I would probably just say something like “I’m doing okay” or “I’m comfortable” and leave it at that. Those are going to mean different things to different people depending on how much they make, how much they think you make and how you say it. In general. “I’m doing okay” would mean “I have some debt, I could use a raise, but I’ll get by” and “I’m comfortable” means “I make plenty, don’t worry about me”. There’s also a way to say “I’m comfortable” or “I’m very/quite comfortable” to mean “I’m making more then I need, no debt, plenty in the bank…I’m on easy street”. If they’re drilling you for a number, I’d probably just say “I don’t like to get into specifics”. Depending on your relationship with the BIL you like, you might be able to casually bring up how uncomfortable it makes you and hopefully he’ll pass it along to them and they won’t bring it up again. It’s possible in their circle of friends or family, it’s something that gets discussed. Even if you’re not “okay” or “comfortable” (either worse or better) this is likely the best answer unless you want more discussion. Now, if by ‘worth’ you meant something else (since you mentioned the born again thing) then ignore this. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/4 "2012-11-09T07:27:30Z")
oh no, she wants to know my financial worth. They are not concerned about me at all. Other than I am going to hell. I really think she has it in her mind that she is entitled to some of what I have if I were to die. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/5 "2012-11-09T07:30:59Z")
“None of your damned business.” ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/6 "2012-11-09T07:34:05Z")
“Actually, it does burn a little when I pee, and there’s some greenish discharge. Wait, did I just answer the _wrong_ inappropriate question?” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/7 "2012-11-09T07:43:37Z")
> [@\_Olive](#): > > oh no, she wants to know my financial worth. They are not concerned about me at all. Other than I am going to hell. I really think she has it in her mind that she is entitled to some of what I have if I were to die. Sometimes the best answer to something like that is another question: “Why do you want to know?” You can also say something like “It’s not anything you need to worry about” if you like. Or “I can’t believe that you’d ask such a thing!” if you can pull it off. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/8 "2012-11-09T08:20:59Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Sometimes the best answer to something like that is another question: “Why do you want to know?” You can also say something like “It’s not anything you need to worry about” if you like. Or “I can’t believe that you’d ask such a thing!” if you can pull it off. I think I stated in my first post I told her I could’t believe she was asking me that question. The last two times I have seen her she also sneaks up to me and puts the sign of the cross on my forehead. I make a joke about that, or pretend to fall on the ground and speak in tongues. But the money thing always surprizes me and this time I want something quirky to say. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/9 "2012-11-09T08:31:28Z")
OK, so perhaps slightly less shocking in case MIL is also present: “Oh, I’ve got another one: ‘Do you fold the toilet paper, or kinda scrunch it up before you wipe?’ Oh, sorry, I thought we were listing inappropriate questions!” ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/10 "2012-11-09T08:42:40Z")
“You will be the first I scam if it isn’t enough, I promise” a big smile and touch on the hand would be a lovely finish. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/11 "2012-11-09T08:50:14Z")
Someone comes up to me and tries to put the sign of the cross on my forehead, I’d tell them - once - not to do that again if they don’t want their finger broken. If they do it again, break their finger. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/12 "2012-11-09T09:05:42Z")
> [@\_Olive](#): > > But the money thing always surprizes me and this time I want something quirky to say. “I’m worth several million now the insurance policy has come through, but I figure I can at least double that if I buy enough lottery tickets.” ---
**Author:** ![by-tor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/by-tor/32/266_2.png) [@by-tor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/by-tor)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/13 "2012-11-09T10:50:57Z")
“That is a deep philosophical question. Oh! You meant financially! How shallow of you.” ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/15 "2012-11-09T11:28:02Z")
“Once the telegraph business takes off, I’ll be a trillionaire!” ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/16 "2012-11-09T11:46:50Z")
Say this: “I’m deeply in debt. My late husband said that you borrowed $100,000 from him when you both were in your early twenties and never repaid it. I think it would be appropriate for you to now pay me the money that you borrowed. If not, I’ve had a lawyer look over my late husband’s financial records from that time, and he says we’ve got a pretty good case against you. It will go much easier for you if you just pay now instead of forcing us to make you spend the next year in court.” Probably it won’t be true, so she’ll think you’re insane and just avoid you from then on. But what if it’s true? Then she’ll be scared you actually mean it, and she might even pay you the money. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/17 "2012-11-09T12:50:01Z")
“You’d really need to discuss this with my accountants”. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/18 "2012-11-09T12:54:44Z")
How about "I prefer to not talk about my finances. Please stop asking me about them. Thanks. " ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/19 "2012-11-09T13:09:36Z")
I would say, “I don’t understand why you think it is OK to ask me that”. mmm ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/20 "2012-11-09T13:14:58Z")
“Twenty dollars, same as in town.” ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459/21 "2012-11-09T13:17:30Z")
“What is \*\*\*your \*\*\*worth???” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-good-reply/640459.md?page=2)