# Looking for A Master **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185 "2003-04-22T00:18:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@TJ555\_The\_Golfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJ555_The_Golfer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/1 "2003-04-22T00:18:37Z")
So, I would like a Master. And I see [Cecil Adams](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=31) has a status of Perfect Master. Wow, a **Perfect** Master. Cecil are you into leather? Latex? Now, I should say I am not gay, but I am willing to learn for the Perfect Master. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/2 "2003-04-22T00:23:18Z")
Oh this thread could get interesting… You want a master… what makes you think a master wants you? If your wanting to be a slave… what exactly does that entail? You get bosses around whiped spanked and buggered? Or more like a source of cheap labour like many Martha Steward sweatshops in the 90’s? CUrious minds just gotta know. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/3 "2003-04-22T00:27:50Z")
When the student is ready, the master will appear. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/4 "2003-04-22T00:35:20Z")
All I wanna know is… does it involve whipped cream? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/5 "2003-04-22T00:43:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by swampbear \* > \*\*All I wanna know is… does it involve whipped cream? \*\* Nah, whipped cream is so 1980’s. These days, it’s all about creamed corn. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/6 "2003-04-22T00:47:00Z")
The most improtant question in BDSM for an aspiring slave is Why do you want a master? Think carefully, and answer truthfuly. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/7 "2003-04-22T00:47:28Z")
**MMMMMMMMMMMM!** creamed corn. Can I get some **whipped** potatoes to go with it? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/8 "2003-04-22T00:58:58Z")
I don’t think you deserve whipped potatoes. And don’t go begging, you know how that annoys me. Now go back into the timeout corner, and ask **FCM** for forgiveness. Molasses, pah, I’ll give you Molasses. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/9 "2003-04-22T01:22:44Z")
_waits patiently in the corner to see what masters crawl out of the woodwork_ ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/10 "2003-04-22T01:29:26Z")
Are you ever going to contribute anything worthwhile? Maybe something kinda-sorta thought provoking would be fine. This crap is getting tedious. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/11 "2003-04-22T04:34:36Z")
The Golfer is not gay, but is willing to learn. You wouldn’t really be Bill Murray, would you? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/12 "2003-04-22T15:59:52Z")
**Kricket** Masters don’t crawl. (unless of course they are switch, and not being a master at the time). If you are anywhere near SF, are you going to the Fettish Ball this Saturday? ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/13 "2003-04-22T16:13:54Z")
I’m a lovely sub. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/14 "2003-04-22T16:47:25Z")
Wow I was right… Title and subject in perfect harmony. \ ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/15 "2003-04-22T16:47:56Z")
“Wick my boots, you wascawwy swave!” ``` --Elmer Fudd, Top ``` Well, I’m a bit of a dom at times, but I’ve not found the _right_ person to really go exploring too deeply with. Most of my companions in the past were more timid than I, and beyond that, I’ve been single and enjoyed that status for a good while now. So, nyeah nyeah nyeah. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/16 "2003-04-22T17:05:17Z")
To be student you must first answer this question, young grasshoppa… If change bring success, why do successful stay same? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/17 "2003-04-22T17:10:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by angelabaca \* > \*\*I’m a lovely sub. \*\* Wow, you are lovely. Are you really a sub? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/18 "2003-04-22T17:21:55Z")
Sure she is. Jared lost 137 lbs. snacking on her. ::_D&R_:: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/19 "2003-04-23T05:23:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bippy the Beardless \* > \*\ ***Kricket** Masters don’t crawl. > > (unless of course they are switch, and not being a master at the time). > > If you are anywhere near SF, are you going to the Fettish Ball this Saturday? \*\* No Sir, this girl is in Iowa and sadly too far to attend. And this girl thanks you for correcting her about the crawling. i was so excited about seeing what Masters would appear that i forgot my place. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-master/170185/20 "2003-04-23T14:47:03Z")
It is good to be eager, but you should not let the excitement go to your head. I do appreciate woodwork though, so you were half correct. I love rose wood, teak, and mahogany for furniture, Willow also has its uses.