# Looking for a word to denote a person who does not want others to succeed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 3, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864 "2013-03-03T00:59:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/21 "2013-03-03T12:53:13Z")
Egocentric. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/22 "2013-03-03T13:43:02Z")
Parent? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/23 "2013-03-03T13:56:53Z")
The trusty old schtick of the [false friend](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FalseFriend) sounds like 2. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/24 "2013-03-03T14:06:02Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > The answer is obvious … so much so that I’m not going to even say it. > > But if it was in a crossword puzzle it would be ten letters. Funny where people go with this. I figured you meant it would start with an “R”. ---
**Author:** ![davidmich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@davidmich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidmich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/25 "2013-03-03T14:30:51Z")
1. Someone who does not want others to succeed??? “misanthrope” perhaps to describe this kind of person but it doesn’t go far enough. 2. Someone who just gives the appearance of helping but doesn’t (but may in fact be doing the opposite). Still working on that one. But thank you all for your replies. davidmich ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/26 "2013-03-03T14:37:47Z")
I always thought misanthropic was more about preferring to be apart from people as you don’t like them. I can’t see it as the word you are searching for- you can dislike other people without wishing failure on them. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/27 "2013-03-03T18:14:23Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > The answer is obvious … so much so that I’m not going to even say it. > > But if it was in a crossword puzzle it would be ten letters. First thing that came to my mind too. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/28 "2013-03-03T19:20:08Z")
asshole? ---
**Author:** ![AlaskanMatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@AlaskanMatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlaskanMatt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/29 "2013-03-03T19:59:10Z")
Narcissist Control-Freak ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/30 "2013-03-03T19:59:11Z")
1)petty jealous insecure hateful 2)two-faced back stabber manipulator controlling devious deceitful insecure evil ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/31 "2013-03-03T20:02:00Z")
Crab in a barrel. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/32 "2013-03-03T20:25:39Z")
In Ireland, 1 is a begrudger. Culture gap: non-eejits really say ‘hater’ without their tongues in their cheeks? Honestly? I’ve never heard anyone manage to say it seriously without sounding both whiny and totally vacant. But then, I also thought it meant ‘anyone who says anything I don’t want to hear’ - I didn’t realise it was more specific - so what I think may not mean much on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/33 "2013-03-03T20:52:33Z")
I agree that the closest answer to #1 is [crab mentality](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality). It is a phrase rather than a single word but that is exactly what it refers to. ---
**Author:** ![davidmich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@davidmich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidmich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/34 "2013-03-03T21:34:41Z")
begrudger and crab mentality are probably closest to #1. #2 is a tough one. How to describe someone who gives the impression of helping but really makes someone dependent. I’ll just throw out a word here: “Scheinhelfer”…just coined a German word to mean “someone who only gives the appearance of helping”. Any other suggestions? I look forward to your replies. davidmich ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/35 "2013-03-03T21:43:16Z")
1. Someone who pretends/gives the outward appearance of helping someone, but in reality does not or simply wants to make a person dependent on him/her. For this one, crying crocodile tears _kind of_ gets at what you’re talking about. You’re faking sympathy for someone you don’t care about whatsoever and may actively be wanting them to think you’re helping them when you’re really not. ---
**Author:** ![davidmich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@davidmich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidmich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/36 "2013-03-03T22:10:44Z")
I think “manipulator” is probably the best answer for #2. I has the sense of controlling, taking advantage, and I guess by extension, making someone dependent/vulnerable. Thanks very much everyone. davidmich ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/37 "2013-03-03T23:31:52Z")
ulterior? duplicitous… ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/38 "2013-03-03T23:46:53Z")
Charlatan would kind of fit for #2. They peddle snake oil to the grieving widows under the pretense of helping them, when really they just their money. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/39 "2013-03-03T23:52:12Z")
chief PETTY officer… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864/40 "2013-03-04T00:30:20Z")
1: Spoiler. 2: Manipulative bastard/bitch. High functioning psychopath/sociopath. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-a-word-to-denote-a-person-who-does-not-want-others-to-succeed/651864.md?page=3)