# Looking for jokes: What do you get when you cross X with Y? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 20, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817 "2010-02-20T23:11:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/1 "2010-02-20T23:11:24Z")
Q. What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot? A. A walkie-talkie. Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? A. Bacon and legs. Please top these. I need some new jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/2 "2010-02-20T23:15:10Z")
A classic: Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? A. Elephino ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/3 "2010-02-20T23:22:08Z")
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/4 "2010-02-20T23:23:26Z")
[math geek] What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana? |elephant||banana| sin _q_ ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/5 "2010-02-20T23:31:11Z")
So what _do_ you get if you cross X with Y? ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/6 "2010-02-21T00:24:56Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > So what _do_ you get if you cross X with Y? Generally, a boy. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/7 "2010-02-21T01:13:35Z")
_round of applause_ ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/8 "2010-02-21T01:34:58Z")
One I saw here on the Dope: > [@](#): > > What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? > > Nothing, you can’t cross a scalar with a vector. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/9 "2010-02-21T03:14:41Z")
What to you get when you cross a prostitute with a Mensa member? A fuckin’ know-it-all. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/10 "2010-02-21T03:27:27Z")
An owl with a goat? - A hootenanny. A dog and a hen? - Pooched eggs. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/11 "2010-02-21T04:44:26Z")
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia! What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of whiskey ? Trunk and disorderly. I don’t know if you need clean ones, but in case raunchy will do: What do you get if you cross a penis with a potato? A dick-tater. What do you get if you cross a pickle with a female deer? A dill-doe. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/12 "2010-02-21T08:27:13Z")
Did you hear about the guy who crossed an abalone with a crocodile? He wanted to get an abadile, but all he ever got was a croc-a-baloney. ---
**Author:** ![Butterscotch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dc4da7/32.png) [@Butterscotch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Butterscotch)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/13 "2010-02-21T15:20:41Z")
A sheep and a kangaroo? - a wooly jumper! ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/14 "2010-02-21T19:50:42Z")
The Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? …About half way. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/15 "2010-02-22T01:50:15Z")
Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/16 "2010-02-22T02:06:48Z")
…a donkey with an onion? Most of the time, you get a long-eared onion… but once in a while… … . you get a piece of ass that makes your eyes water 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/17 "2010-02-22T02:31:14Z")
When I first glanced at this thread title, I thought it said, “What do you get when you cross \*\*\*gen \*\*\*X with \*\*\*gen \*\*\*Y?” Needless to say, I was very intrigued. I then realized I would have to come up with the answer to that question and I think it would have to be: MyFaceTweets@bubbleburstdotcom (yeah, I apologize if that’s no good…) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/18 "2010-02-22T02:39:18Z")
Old but still trusty: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a chicken? Enough drumsticks for everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/19 "2010-02-22T16:27:51Z")
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a turkey? A: (Chicken)(Turkey) Sine Theta (yeah, I know that one’s pretty esoteric… only someone who’s had college-level math or physics might get it…) ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817/20 "2010-02-22T16:32:38Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > So what _do_ you get if you cross X with Y? I don’t know, but if you’d rather do that than read the _Odes and Epodes_, you’re putting Descartes before the Horace. Punchline stolen from James Thurber. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-jokes-what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-x-with-y/529817.md?page=2)