# Looking for Rumpole quote about not wanting to be a judge **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** liquor-alcohol\ **Created:** [October 21, 2025, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147 "2025-10-21T09:39:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2025, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147/1 "2025-10-21T09:39:57Z")
I can’t remember which of the Rumpole stories it’s in. He’d explains why he doesn’t want to be a judge. Wormwood Scrubs is mentioned, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2025, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147/2 "2025-10-21T20:27:09Z")
Considering this thread has the tag ‘liquor-alcohol’ I assume he finished his explanation with, “I’m afraid I was very, very drunk.” ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2025, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147/3 "2025-10-21T22:55:34Z")
The story [“Rumpole and the Tap End” begins](https://archive.org/details/rumpole0000john_n1x5/page/148/mode/2up) > There are many reasons why I could never become one of Her Majesty’s judges. I am unable to look at my customer in the dock without feeling “There but for the grace of God goes Horace Rumpole.” I should find it almost impossible to order any fellow citizen to be locked up in a Victorian slum with a couple of psychopaths and three chamber-pots, and I cannot imagine a worse way of passing your life than having to actually listen to the speeches of the learned friends. It also has to be admitted that no sane Lord Chancellor would ever dream of the appointment of Mr Justice Rumpole. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2025, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147/4 "2025-10-22T04:31:16Z")
He also mentions somewhere (probably after not getting named), that he couldn’t face the prospect of “sending him down”. I mention this because I’ve visited the Old Bailey, and if I’d been young and irresponsible as I once was, I’d have followed the narrow twisting staircase down to see where it lead. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2025, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looking-for-rumpole-quote-about-not-wanting-to-be-a-judge/1024147/5 "2025-10-26T14:34:41Z")
I never read any Rumpole, but when I first became aware of him, I wondered whether the series was wry British humor, and the name Rumpole a bad pun (Rump hole) 🙂