Yes, Tygr is big funny-type person. Tygr good at making people laugh. Tygr NOT good at knowing how to buy house. Tygr give you all his money, you buy Tygr house, give Tygr any leftover money, okay? Okay…
No leftover money? Need more for flange re-threading and thurkle un-sticking? Oooh, that sound expensive. Here lots more money. Make sure Tygr get purty new house…
Lissa, don’t be insulted. Realize that you are so close to this situation, so emotionally involved, that it is impossible for you to be completely objective. You view everything that has happened through your unique individual filter, with the benefit of your personal knowledge and experience. None of the other participants, noe of us, and no decision-maker who may ultimately become involved, will share this with you.
Good luck. Don’t give anything up at first, tho you acknowledge what you may ultimately be willing to contribute. Your initial position should be you did nothing wrong, should bbear no costs, and in fact, should be compensated for your costs caused by the other parties’ mal/misfeasance. Then let them work you down from there.
Lissa, IANAL, but it will not hurt to have your attorney formally press a claim for the refund of your earnest payment (and at least think about the idea that they owe you for the primrose path Mike led you down – even if you don’t get it, the fact that you’re being assertive will keep them from thinking about any legal action against you – not, based on the posts, that they have a snowball’s chance, but to prevent the nuisance value of the suit from being used on you.
I’d suggest you or your husband ought to personally talk to the real estate family friends that Mike works for and give him the straight scoop on how you’ve been dicked around. One of three things is true here: (a) Mike was doing it without your friend’s knowledge, and will soon be without a job, or (b) you don’t have a friend there; you have a ruthless businessman who (ab)uses social acquaintances to make money off them. The conversation will show which is correct, and that’s something worth knowing, based on all this.
Tygr, nobody is out to pick on you, but I’m sure you can see Lissa’s point that, given the stress she’s been under, your self-deprecation post provided her the tension reliever she needed. (Although, noting your .sig and that post, it’s possible Perse may have acted precipitately – maybe it oughta be changed to “No longer a newbie but still clueless”? :D)
Hey, a scary thought: Tygr, you aren’t being shown a house that just came back on the market by an agent named Mike, are you? 
Uh, no, it means they don’t want to give you the money and hope that if they ignore you, you’ll quit asking. If they thought they had valid reason to keep it, they would have informed you of those reasons.
Listen to Dinsdale and Polycarp - tell them you expect to be paid for your time and trouble, in addition to the return of YOUR earnest money. Better yet, have your lawyer tell them.
<IANAL, but I used to work for realtors. Earnest money is forfeit ONLY if you back out of a contract without due cause; the purpose is to protect the seller from frivolous contracts. It is often returned to the buyer when the deal falls through for some valid reason.>
Lissa, this is YOUR money and they want to steal it from you. It’s as simple as that. Don’t give it to them. Keep telling yourself “these people are trying to screw me” whenever you feel like ‘making nice’.
What Dinsdale said. I often preface any statement or advice I may give with a similar statement, when I’ve only heard one side of the story. There’s always another side with different details. Doesn’t mean you’re lying or that you are incorrect - just means I wasn’t there to witness the details myself.
Illegitimi non carborundum!
Grrrr! WHO is picking on Tygr?! Picking on Tygr make Tygr MAD! Tygr SMASH!
Tygr just wants little purty house. Mike say he help Tygr buy little purty house.
Tygr must go see Mike now. Mike says Tygr needs to give Mike more money for little purty house. Mike is Tygr’s friend.
GRRRR! Tygr is NOT cloo-less! Mike knows what Tygr is. Mike read Tygr’s first post, then said to Tygr, “Tygr is a Moe-Ron!”.
Mike is Tygr’s FREIND. Tygr is a Moe-Ron!
Thought you guys might like a little update:
Our lawyer called a week ago, chuckling. He said that he had recieved a call from someone claiming to be the home owner’s attorney. He said it was the strangest call from an “attorney” that he had ever gotten. Usually, when the other side’s attorney calls, the conversation runs thus: “Hello, I’m So-And-So, representing John Smith in this case. Here’s my phone number and address in case you need to contact me.” But this “attorney” was asking questions. Lots of strange questions.
The “attorney”: “Are you really their lawyer? Really? They HIRED you? Retained you an everything?”
Our lawyer: “Yes, I am representing them.”
“Attorney”: “Really? Honestly? Are they going to sue?”
O.L: “Well, if they are, I’m sure they’ll be served, and will contact you with that information.”
“Attorney”: "What are they going to sue for?
O.L: “Well, if they’re served, then they’ll know, won’t they?”
“Attorney”: “On what grounds? I don’t understand. Why would they sue? Are they going to? How can they sue? Why did they back out of the contract?”
O.L: “Do you have the letter they sent to the realator?”
“Attorney”: “Well, yeah.”
O.L: “Everything’s in the letter.”
“Attorney”: “Yeah, but I still don’t understand. Why would they break the contract? And then sue? Are they going to sue?”
O.L “Well, if they are served, then you’ll know if they’re going to, or not.”
“Attorney”: “Well, my clients ARE going to sue.”
O.L: “Okay. Send me the information.”
(dead silence)
“Attorney”: “Will they sue back?”
Our lawyer said this to us, “I usually don’t tell clients not to worry, but in this case, I’m telling you that you really don’t have anything to worry about.” He said it sounded like a prank call, almost, as if the homeowners had had their teenage son call and pretend to be a lawyer. He said to call him back if we were served, which would be in about three days or so.
As I said, that’s been over a week, and we haven’t heard anything. I feel a lot more confident because either they have a piss-poor excuse for a lawyer, or they’re the kind of people that would call up a real attorney and pretend to be one to try to fish for information. Either way, it looks like they don’t know their ass from a hole in the wall on this one.
Lissa, I know I shouldn’t laugh at your troubles, but thank you for making me do so with the recap of that phone call!
I haven’t posted to this thread before, but have been keeping up on your hassles with house buying. I’m glad to hear that things are starting to turn your way. Good luck, and keep us posted!
My first home, mind you, and good night you made me appreciate our realtor! …Not that the horror story wasn’t stressful as well. I would have been a complete basket case had this happened to me.
The phone call is darn funny, and I’m curious to know if there are any further updates…particularly any involving Mike the WonderAss. I just can’t believe they would try to pull this crap.
(Meanwhile, I like my house. It’s neat and stuff. Great place for a Ruff gal and a llama of death.)
Lissa, I see you’re already taking this advice, and I’m glad. On another message board I frequented, a lady was speaking of her sister, who had given up a daughter many years ago, and now the little girl (all grown up) was asking about her birth parents. The sister wanted nothing to do with the child, but the poster (who would be her aunt) did, and was asking if she should speak up. The poster also provided a link to the news story.
This was a bad idea. Someone who read the board decided to call the reporter with the information, and the reporter came onto the boards and posted for the aunt to call. You never know who could be reading these things. Please be careful.
I know you’re going through a lot right now, and I can’t offer you any advice other than the above, but you and your family will be in my prayers.
We got a letter from our attorney a couple of days ago saying that he had received a phone call from the honmeowners attorney. (A real lawyer this time. Ironicly enough, when hubby and I were looking for an attorney, we had stopped in this fellow’s office, but decided not to go with him.) The homeowner’s attorney stated that for the sum of three thousand dollars, the homeowners would agree to give up their rights to sue us.
Three thousand dollars? Yeah, right! They have suffered no losses . . . they’re just trying to scare us into thinking that they’re serious, but I know from talking to some people that know them that they don’t have the kind of money a lawsuit would take.
We’re going in on Monday to talk with our lawyer, and, depending on his advoce, we’re going to offer them the earnest money. It will be $500 well spent to end all of this crap. We’re also going to take action against Mike. I’m just mean enough to take pleasure out of the thought of him sweating it out, and worrying the way we have.
I saw the house listed in the newspaper the other day. It described it as a “Gorgeous home! With Many Updates!” That gave me a good laugh, until the sobering thought of the next poor sucker came to mind.
Lissa, I’ve been through the house-buying and refinance game a number of times before. I totally empathize with everything and I’m glad it’s finally getting straightened out. I always appreciate the feedback you give others as you write so beautifully.
I think you should write all this up in a booklet - I bet it would help others greatly.
Good god, Lissa, you want to live in this town, which is apparently filled with the most unethical “professionals” on the face of the planet? It is potentially a HUGE violation of this lawyer’s ethical duties to represent an adverse party in a matter regarding the same transaction for which you had already solicited his legal advice.
I’m assuming that you told him about your situation when checking him out, right? If you did so with the goal of obtaining legal representation, and he understood that was the point, everything you told him is covered by attorney-client confidentiality. He CANNOT then turn around and use what he knows about your situation by representing the other side!
Okay, admittedly, I don’t know what state you live in or precisely what the ethical rules of that state are. But the rules of professional responsibility do not vary that much from state to state. Ask YOUR lawyer for his advice about this conflict of interest. Then get the hell out of this dump before the tax assessor hits you up for a bribe and the garbage collectors start sweeping the trash under your front porch.
No, no . . . we dodn’t actually get any advice from him, or even speak to him personally. We went into his office the day Mike threatened us, and made an appointment with his unfriendly receptionist, which was for a week or so later. We immediately went to another office where the attorney was able to see us later on that day. We went with the second attorney, and cancelled our appointment with the first.
Whew! Good to hear that it’s not as bad as I’d thought there. It’s just that after reading the thread, I was in a really pessimistic mood about human nature.
Guess the good news is that it’s the homeowners who are stuck with the cranky office staff now! 
Our lawyer presented them with the offer of the earnest money today, and now it’s just a matter of waiting for their response.
We ran into Mike last night at a local resturant. We sat down at a table late in the eveing, and Hubby leaned over to mutter to me that I shouldn’t turn around, but Mike was seated right behind me. Small world, small town. We asked for menus, but the resturant had stopped serving food that late, and were only serving drinks. Being very hungry, we left, and as I was walking out, I had a mental wince over the idea that he might think that his presence “chased” us out.
On the tape matter: Our lawyer was somewhat pleased about the tape. The laws in our state require that only one party of the converstaion be aware that it is being recorded, and mentioning the fact that a conversation was taped might scare the bejeezus out of Mike, knowing the amount of lies and intimidation that might be recorded therein. It really doesn’t have much, but MIKE might not know that!
I’ll keep you guys posted.
Thanks for all of the updates Lissa. You really lucked out with the tape recording. That could prove to be a veritable sword of Damocles to hang over Mike’s head.
My personal feeling is that you should give them one week to accept the offer money or risk having it withdrawn. This situation is rotten nine ways to Sunday.
Keep us posted (as it were).