# Looks like umkay is back, so we may as well get this thread started... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570 "2013-07-15T16:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/41 "2013-07-15T18:06:24Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > We’ll take it from here, Detective. :rolleyes: You’re doing a bang up job. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/42 "2013-07-15T18:07:04Z")
Giraffe is my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/43 "2013-07-15T18:08:01Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Ach aye, I dinna mean to offend the lassie, tis a difficult balance even for the wee bairns in Glasgow. My bum’s oot the windae here, I feel like a proper shite, aye. More power to the deflector shields! Anyway I can’t vouch for anything **jaymac1** says about herself, but thinking she’s **umkay** again, telling almost the exact same story from another location? That’d be all kinds of insane. > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > You’re doing a bang up job. I did enough to find out you’re wrong about **jaymac1** being **umkay**. Remind me what you did again? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/44 "2013-07-15T18:09:42Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Shut up. She can call me a cunt. Also, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to tell posters to “shut up”. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/45 "2013-07-15T18:10:29Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’d be all kinds of insane. Yes it is, and you’re ruining it for us spectators. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/46 "2013-07-15T18:12:48Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I did enough to find out you’re wrong about **jaymac1** being **umkay**. Remind me what you did again? I’ve no proof but I heard that he won Gold medal at the Jam Eating Contest in Springfield Oregan in the “Jams Made Out of Chillis” category. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/47 "2013-07-15T18:13:13Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Also, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to tell posters to “shut up”. Sorry. Speak less loud. I feel like such a cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/48 "2013-07-15T18:14:16Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > More power to the deflector shields! Anyway I can’t vouch for anything **jaymac1** says about herself, but thinking she’s **umkay** again, telling almost the exact same story from another location? That’d be all kinds of insane. > > I did enough to find out you’re wrong about **jaymac1** being **umkay**. Remind me what you did again? I’ve moved three times since I began posting here and have also posted from my phone while on vacation. Please provide evidence that posters tend to use the same IP in perpetuity. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/49 "2013-07-15T18:17:00Z")
Everyone knows real socks only ever use static IPs. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/50 "2013-07-15T18:17:21Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I did enough to find out you’re wrong about **jaymac1** being **umkay**. Remind me what you did again? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. Sock, troll, who cares? She’s full of shit either way. [For example.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16475657) ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/51 "2013-07-15T18:18:48Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > More power to the deflector shields! Anyway I can’t vouch for anything **jaymac1** says about herself, but thinking she’s **umkay** again, telling almost the exact same story from another location? That’d be all kinds of insane. Yes. Yes, it would. Going from message board to message board telling the exact same story under a variety of different names and identities would definitely be insane. Certifiable, even. It’s a lucky thing for us there’s no possible way for a person to obtain an IP address or VPN account from another location or we could have quite a nut on our hands. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/52 "2013-07-15T18:19:07Z")
From the other thread "Aye, I’m still a virgin and I’m 18. I guess no one likes a wheelchair girl. Funny because most Scottish people nowadays lose their virginity by age 13! That is nae even a joke. " Oh come on, if you’re going to pretend to be from Rutherglen, it’d be “isnae” or “is no’ " not " is nae” with the weird pause in between. And since when was there a “sixth form college” in Rutherglen? We’re Scotland honey, we don’t have “forms”. Sixth year, yup, but “form”? Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/53 "2013-07-15T18:19:18Z")
Gorilla warfare? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/54 "2013-07-15T18:20:23Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I’ve no proof but I heard that he won Gold medal at the Jam Eating Contest in Springfield Oregan in the “Jams Made Out of Chillis” category. Impressive! > [@Troppus](#): > > I’ve moved three times since I began posting here and have also posted from my phone while on vacation. So have I. You’re right- someone from California who pretends to be a rich quadriplegic saved up enough money from the high-powered job she doubtless has that she moved to the U.K. Then she came back to the SDMB with the same old lie because there are only, like, three message boards on the Internet. It all makes sense now. > [@Giraffe](#): > > Yes. Yes, it would. Going from message board to message board telling the exact same story under a variety of different names and identities would definitely be insane. Certifiable, even. It is. Even so, coming back to a place that already busted you with the same lie is hard to believe. That seems like the kind of thing you figure out on day tTwo as an Internet liar. > [@](#): > > It’s a lucky thing for us there’s no possible way for a person to obtain an IP address or VPN account from another location or we could have quite a nut on our hands. And it’s a good thing I don’t know how to tell what I’m looking at when it comes to this stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/55 "2013-07-15T18:20:33Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > And since when was there a “sixth form college” in Rutherglen? We’re Scotland honey, we don’t have “forms”. Sixth year, yup, but “form”? Nope. I dinna ken what you are trying to say here but it seems to me that you are casting aspersions on our poor misunderstood lassie from Glasgow. Ach, aye! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/56 "2013-07-15T18:21:51Z")
Dinnae fash yersel about the wee colleen, she’s a bonnie fechter, aye! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/57 "2013-07-15T18:28:14Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > It’s not just for breakfast anymore. I’ve always thought it makes for a great bedtime snack. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/58 "2013-07-15T18:35:58Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > Giraffe is my favorite. You’re just saying that because his bum’s out the window. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/59 "2013-07-15T18:36:14Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > It is. Even so, coming back to a place that already busted you with the same lie is hard to believe. That seems like the kind of thing you figure out on day tTwo as an Internet liar. Sounds like she’s on the up and up, then. Good work! ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/60 "2013-07-15T18:36:38Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > So have I. You’re right- someone from California who pretends to be a rich quadriplegic saved up enough money from the high-powered job she doubtless has that she moved to the U.K. Then she came back to the SDMB with the same old lie because there are only, like, three message boards on the Internet. It all makes sense now. A more likely story is that this is an idle rich college dropout or sheltered, pampered kid with globe-trotting parents. **umkay** was quite the charming and well-spoken sociopath, it’s also possible that someone with her verbal skills and er, umm…creativity could snag a mate from another locale without much trouble. Anyway, if new girl has been reading for 18 months, what prevented her from joining in that thread and saying, Hey, me too! Let’s talk about me and my disability and related issues with my sex life? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=4)