# Looks like umkay is back, so we may as well get this thread started... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570 "2013-07-15T16:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/61 "2013-07-15T18:37:43Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Yes! It’s true, I’m quite the cunty cunt. I’m dying laughing at this thread, and feel slightly guilty about that, and then I just wipe my eyes and think “fuck it” and laugh some more. I’m the bigger cunt. No, really. I am! Me! Me! … and it’s not even a slow work day here. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/62 "2013-07-15T18:39:54Z")
Dear god I’m having flashbacks to that nice sweet Glaswegian stewardess on the flight to Venice a few years ago. She might as well have been speaking Martian for all I understood her. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/63 "2013-07-15T18:40:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Sounds like she’s on the up and up, then. Good work! Yeah, I’m really sorry I even doubted her now that the Mighty Sock Hunter has set me straight. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/64 "2013-07-15T18:40:50Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I dinna ken what you are trying to say here but it seems to me that you are casting aspersions on our poor misunderstood lassie from Glasgow. Ach, aye! Tell you what, if she’s really from Glasgow, I’ll meet her tomorrow afternoon. I’ve no plans, and I need to visit Rutherglen anyway. **jaymac1** , how about it? ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/65 "2013-07-15T18:41:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Shut up. She can call me a cunt. I prefer “right proper cunt” or I don’t respond at all. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/66 "2013-07-15T18:41:14Z")
Umkay herself stretched credibility to the breaking point even before there was “proof”. The fact that an almost identical OP was written by jaymac1 takes that thin strand of credibility, cuts it, burns it in a fire and then spreads the ashes over the ocean she crossed for her new home. I find it much easier to believe that a troublemaking bored troll moved to the UK than that this is a real poster. Kindness may direct you to giving her the benefit of the doubt but please, for the love of all that’s sane in this world, please tell me you at least are harbouring doubts. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/67 "2013-07-15T18:44:36Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. > > Sock, troll, who cares? She’s full of shit either way. [For example.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16475657) I was with you right until I saw “gorilla”. You see, I _am_ a Navy Seal and I can confirm that we spell it “geurella”. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/68 "2013-07-15T18:48:47Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > I was with you right until I saw “gorilla”. > > You see, I _am_ a Navy Seal and I can confirm that we spell it “geurella”. No, I meant gorilla. I fight gorillas. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/69 "2013-07-15T18:48:49Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > A more likely story is that this is an idle rich college dropout or sheltered, pampered kid with globe-trotting parents. I doubt it. This is all armchair psychology, obviously, but I think it was someone with nothing in particular going on in his/her life - not someone with access to lots of money and world travel. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/70 "2013-07-15T18:49:58Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Tell you what, if she’s really from Glasgow, I’ll meet her tomorrow afternoon. I’ve no plans, and I need to visit Rutherglen anyway. > > **jaymac1** , how about it? Fucking devotees. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/71 "2013-07-15T18:50:13Z")
I know, sexy right? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/72 "2013-07-15T18:51:08Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > From the other thread > > "Aye, I’m still a virgin and I’m 18. I guess no one likes a wheelchair girl. Funny because most Scottish people nowadays lose their virginity by age 13! That is nae even a joke. " > > Oh come on, if you’re going to pretend to be from Rutherglen, it’d be “isnae” or “is no’ " not " is nae” with the weird pause in between. > > And since when was there a “sixth form college” in Rutherglen? We’re Scotland honey, we don’t have “forms”. Sixth year, yup, but “form”? Nope. QFT. This person is not Scottish. That said, there is an outside chance that we have a real paraplegic going around the internet pretending to be Scottish. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/73 "2013-07-15T18:52:10Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Fucking devotees. Dammit. I always come on too strong. Hey Ambivalid, how \*\*you \*\*doin’?! ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/74 "2013-07-15T18:53:24Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I find it much easier to believe that a troublemaking bored troll moved to the UK than that this is a real poster. Or that there’s another trouble-making troll in the UK. It seems quite possible that this could be a different person who watched the previous fiasco unfold and thought it would be amusing to see what happened if a stranger popped in saying the same things Umkay said before. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/75 "2013-07-15T18:54:03Z")
Or someone learned how to fake an IP address. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/76 "2013-07-15T18:56:05Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Kindness may direct you to giving her the benefit of the doubt but please, for the love of all that’s sane in this world, please tell me you at least are harbouring doubts. I don’t believe for a minute that she’s a wheelchair-bound paraplegic. I also don’t believe for a minute that she’s umkay. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/77 "2013-07-15T18:57:58Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Or someone learned how to fake an IP address. Maybe. But I am not overburdened with faith in the average internet user. Faking an IP I could buy. Faking an IP that matches the region of the accent they’re trying to fake? Less believable. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/78 "2013-07-15T19:00:09Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Kindness may direct you to giving her the benefit of the doubt but please, for the love of all that’s sane in this world, please tell me you at least are harbouring doubts. If you’re asking me- like I said, I am not (and can’t) vouch for **jaymac1** , so I’m not encouraging anybody to take her at face value. That’s for people to decide on their own. I’d suggest people be careful about making accusations and maybe not do it just because they’re bored or want to be first. But I will say the “she’s **umkay**!” thing is kind of ludicrous. There are plenty of message boards out there and there’s a good chance “she” is doing her thing at one of them, but I doubt she’s back here telling the same story people stopped believing a year ago. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/79 "2013-07-15T19:00:11Z")
Putting on a bad accent and poorly researched story to try and match the IP address you managed to fake? I can buy. But our new friend, and my alleged neighbour has gone very quiet - **jaymac1** , are you watching Eastenders or something? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/80 "2013-07-15T19:00:39Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Maybe. But I am not overburdened with faith in the average internet user. Faking an IP I could buy. Faking an IP that matches the region of the accent they’re trying to fake? Less believable. What about faking the accent of a region they’re faking? Maybe it’s a double-bluff and she’s actually Scottish but still faking the accent? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=5)