# Looks like umkay is back, so we may as well get this thread started... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570 "2013-07-15T16:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/121 "2013-07-15T21:33:10Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If you’re not Scottish, I’m not interested. [If it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!](http://barfblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/scottish.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/122 "2013-07-15T21:33:45Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > And can’t spell whisky. At least we can handle whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/123 "2013-07-15T21:34:19Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > [Assuming the worst seems to have been the default setting around here for quite a while now.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=8969856&highlight=assume+worst#post8969856) And six years later, it’s still your best bet! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/124 "2013-07-15T21:48:33Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Oh hush, bunny-boiler. _Broiler_. We made hasenfeffer. j/k ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/125 "2013-07-15T21:49:33Z")
> [@Psychopants](#): > > What? I saw the reference to umkay and used my scary search skillz to resurrect the old threads. That back story. You used your search skills? Bullshit! Have you seen the Dope’s search function, it couldn’t find porn on the internet. Something ain’t right about you. I’m starting to think that it is you that is whomever this thread is about. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/126 "2013-07-15T21:51:06Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. This is absolutely true. Trust me. Bob’s also been through the Navy’s Top Gun school and got his Dolphins in 2 weeks. Poisonous snakes won’t even bite Bob. Oh, and he gets free beer at the VFW. ---
**Author:** ![jaymac1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaymac1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaymac1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/127 "2013-07-15T22:25:34Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Tell you what, if she’s really from Glasgow, I’ll meet her tomorrow afternoon. I’ve no plans, and I need to visit Rutherglen anyway. > > **jaymac1** , how about it? How about the Costa inside the Tesco on Dalmarnock Road? 2PM? ---
**Author:** ![jaymac1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaymac1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaymac1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/128 "2013-07-15T22:29:51Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Anyway, if new girl has been reading for 18 months, what prevented her from joining in that thread and saying, Hey, me too! Let’s talk about me and my disability and related issues with my sex life? I don’t want to talk about my disability and my sex life isn’t an issue, I can still feel it. The reason I say 6th form is because while I am originally from Glasgow I only moved back a few months ago. I lived in Leeds, **England** for many years. ---
**Author:** ![jaymac1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaymac1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaymac1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/129 "2013-07-15T22:32:39Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Putting on a bad accent and poorly researched story to try and match the IP address you managed to fake? I can buy. > > But our new friend, and my alleged neighbour has gone very quiet - **jaymac1** , are you watching Eastenders or something? Nah, Hollyoaks. ---
**Author:** ![jaymac1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaymac1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaymac1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/130 "2013-07-15T22:38:12Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > It is on a good day. > > Have we established whether our new poster eats porridge yet? > I feel that is most important to our discussions. Aye Quakers Golden Syrup flavour, delicious. ---
**Author:** ![jaymac1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaymac1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaymac1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/131 "2013-07-15T22:44:07Z")
Also the reason I am speaking in fairly standard English is for the benefit of you Yankee bastards with a perfunctory understanding of the English fucking language. “I’m walking on the sidewalk”. It’s **PAVEMENT** you fucking idiots! ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/132 "2013-07-15T22:51:56Z")
> [@jaymac1](#): > > Also the reason I am speaking in fairly standard English is for the benefit of you Yankee bastards with a perfunctory understanding of the English fucking language. “I’m walking on the sidewalk”. It’s **PAVEMENT** you fucking idiots! Right – I too say “pavement”, but it’s not logical, since all the road is pavement. “Sidewalk” is more logical because it’s where you walk on the side of the road. OK, you can get back to your regular pitting now. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/133 "2013-07-15T22:56:45Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > It does accumulate throughout your first year, so until the end of December you only have a pro-rata share of a sense of humor. However, there is a humor bank which other posters can deposit unused humor into, and if you qualify, you can use that. You have to go through Rape Week at least once before you acclimate, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/134 "2013-07-15T22:57:22Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > How did you even know about the “back story”? Huh? Somethings not right in this thread. I’m pretty sure there were some direct links early on. ---
**Author:** ![Rain\_Soaked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rain\_Soaked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rain_Soaked)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/135 "2013-07-15T23:00:57Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > QFT. > > This person is not Scottish. That said, there is an outside chance that we have a real paraplegic going around the internet pretending to be Scottish. Now that is just sick. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/136 "2013-07-15T23:07:16Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Fucking devotees. That’s what all these threads are about, right? Also, I mentioned in some other thread, but CI doesn’t even have to meet her. JayMac offered to take a picture, but I had this funny feeling she was just going to find a picture of a wheel chair and upload it. How about she writes SDMB on some paper, sets that on the wheel chair, takes a picture and uploads that. Not too big of a stretch, right, and not too personal. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/137 "2013-07-15T23:07:32Z")
> [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > I’m pretty sure there were some direct links early on. I’m pretty sure you are an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/138 "2013-07-15T23:08:41Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Sorry. Speak less loud. I feel like such a cunt. And rightly you should. Do you feel ashamed of yourself, yet? Should I wag my finger at you? Should I use the verboten “C” word at you, as you have used for yourself? Or have you properly chastised yourself? You’re such a silly bunt. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/139 "2013-07-15T23:15:30Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > If you’re asking me- like I said, I am not (and can’t) vouch for **jaymac1** , so I’m not encouraging anybody to take her at face value. That’s for people to decide on their own. I’d suggest people be careful about making accusations and maybe not do it just because they’re bored or want to be first. But I will say the “she’s **umkay**!” thing is kind of ludicrous. There are plenty of message boards out there and there’s a good chance “she” is doing her thing at one of them, but I doubt she’s back here telling the same story people stopped believing a year ago. But in the Troll Hall of Fame, wouldn’t that be quite the coup if she was able to pull one over everyone’s eyes a second time? Anyway, I’m too new to have been around for the other debacle, but reading up on it sure has been entertaining. And if this chick is real, I’ll eat my keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570/140 "2013-07-15T23:18:58Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Right – I too say “pavement”, but it’s not logical, since all the road is pavement. “Sidewalk” is more logical because it’s where you walk on the side of the road. Aye, so ye _can_ walk, cain ye? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/looks-like-umkay-is-back-so-we-may-as-well-get-this-thread-started/663570.md?page=8)