# Loopy Limericks **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 8, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149 "2015-02-08T21:37:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 391
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2025, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7810 "2025-12-14T23:01:24Z")
The truth is, I really love dogs My weird girlfriend, however, likes frogs Her fave, Fred, is a singer Green, but a dead-ringer For Cher in a wetsuit and clogs. Next year I’ll take up a new sport ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7811 "2025-12-15T00:24:55Z")
Next year I’ll take up a new sport Backhanding bats on a tennis court ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7812 "2025-12-15T15:49:49Z")
Next year I’ll take up a new sport Backhanding bats on a tennis court I’ll raise a racket ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7813 "2025-12-15T19:09:11Z")
Next year I’ll take up a new sport Backhanding bats on a tennis court I’ll raise a racket if I can’t hack it ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7814 "2025-12-15T20:47:19Z")
Next year I’ll take up a new sport Backhanding bats on a tennis court I’ll raise a racket If I can’t hack it Since my serves may fall a bit short * * * I once played on a curious golf course ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7815 "2025-12-15T20:52:19Z")
I once played on a curious golf course My caddie was a miniature horse ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2025, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7816 "2025-12-16T22:56:23Z")
I once played on a curious golf course My caddie was a miniature horse The balls were glass ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2025, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7817 "2025-12-17T00:35:40Z")
I once played on a curious golf course My caddie was a miniature horse The balls were glass The hole was Trump’s ass ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7818 "2025-12-18T21:54:30Z")
I once played on a curious golf course My caddie was a miniature horse The balls were glass The hole was Trump’s ass And they had to be driven with force I whispered a secret to Mary ---
**Author:** ![RollOutTheBarrel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rolloutthebarrel/32/1649_2.png) [@RollOutTheBarrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RollOutTheBarrel)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7819 "2025-12-19T00:11:17Z")
I whispered a secret to Mary “I get the runs when I eat dairy” ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7820 "2025-12-19T01:26:43Z")
I whispered a secret to Mary “I get the runs when I eat dairy” And forget whole milk ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7821 "2025-12-19T03:05:01Z")
I whispered a secret to Mary “I get the runs when I eat dairy” And forget whole milk If I don’t wipe with silk, ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7822 "2025-12-19T04:22:47Z")
I whispered a secret to Mary “I get the runs when I eat dairy” And forget whole milk If I don’t wipe with silk My taint gets infected and scary The reason I don’t eat in bed ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7823 "2025-12-19T10:34:20Z")
The reason I don’t eat in bed My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7824 "2025-12-19T16:29:50Z")
The reason I don’t eat in bed My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head She says "Wifely duties ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7825 "2025-12-19T17:46:15Z")
The reason I don’t eat in bed My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head She says “Wifely duties might give me cooties” ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7826 "2025-12-19T18:22:27Z")
The reason I don’t eat in bed My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head She says “Wifely duties Might give me cooties” “But my balls will explode!” I pled * * * The Christmas elves fomented a coup ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7827 "2025-12-19T19:22:35Z")
The Christmas elves fomented a coup just as Santa stepped out of the loo ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7828 "2025-12-19T19:35:03Z")
The Christmas elves fomented a coup just as Santa stepped out of the loo They tied him all up ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149/7829 "2025-12-20T02:40:12Z")
The Christmas elves fomented a coup just as Santa stepped out of the loo They tied him all up To his ass, they gave whup! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149.md?page=390) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/loopy-limericks/712149.md?page=392)