# Lord help me, I'm going to Houston **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068 "2002-07-15T15:22:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/1 "2002-07-15T15:22:32Z")
I’m leaving Wednesday with the wife and kids, and off I go t Houston to visit people that hate me and want to kill me. How do I know they hate me and want to kill me? They told me. Repeatedly. That’s ok, though, because that gives me free license to hate them back. At least our relationship is simple and honest, founded as it is by mutual loathing. So, it should be a lot of fun. I hear Houston is lovely in July. How hot will it be, 120? I will have Thursday free before I have to meet the people who wish to end my existence, or at least make it difficult as possible. My knowledge of Houston is limited: 1. It’s really hot 2. It’s a desert This isn’t a lot to go on. Should I rent a car at the airport, or just take a cab to the hotel. Is there anything fun I can do during the day in Houston on Thursday, or will it just be too Goddamned hot? Do I need a cowboy hat? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/2 "2002-07-15T15:39:00Z")
obligatory Tom Hanks reference: Houston, we have a problem ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/3 "2002-07-15T15:41:49Z")
It is not a desert. It is in fact disgustingly humid, which is vastly worse. You are correct in that it is swelteringly hot, though. Cowboy hats are optional ;). I have a dear friend or two in Houston and may be heading out there on the Labor Day weekend, but I’m afraid I don’t know the city well enough to recommend a place to hang out. Houston does have about a bazillion restaurants though, I know that. And apparently the highest per capita concentration of strip clubs - Fun for your whole family :D! - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/4 "2002-07-15T15:43:49Z")
How about an amusement park? Preferably a water park. Or do I just want to stay at the hotel all day? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/5 "2002-07-15T15:44:59Z")
They want to kill you? Erm, explain? By sheer coincidence, I get into Houston on Sunday. Beer? And if you think you’ll find the heat a problem, please consider that I’m flying in from Scotland. The sheer difference in climate is probably enough to enduce an aneurysm. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/6 "2002-07-15T15:47:58Z")
or induce, even. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/7 "2002-07-15T15:51:46Z")
Assuming I survive, I leave Houston Sunday morning at 11:00 a.m. What time do you get in? I’d rather not explain about the people that hate me. They have eyes everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/8 "2002-07-15T15:56:10Z")
Houston - The Armpit of Texas. Disgustingly humid is a good description. Oftimes you will see fish swimming by because of the humidity they can’t tell where the water ends and the air begins. Good place for beer: The Ginger Man Good place to eat: Pappadeaux (Canjun) Amusement Park: Astroworld. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/9 "2002-07-15T15:58:08Z")
That should be Cajun, not Canjun. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/10 "2002-07-15T15:59:35Z")
13.40, I’m afraid. Could you leave your hotel aircon on during your stay to try and chill the city down before I get there? ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/11 "2002-07-15T15:59:51Z")
You’re confused, Scylla. 120 is the humidity, not the temperature. The temp should only be in the 90s. Truly, Houston is the armpit of Texas. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/12 "2002-07-15T16:03:57Z")
See? It’s so like an armpit that two Texans from two different cities had to make the same point at the same time. Oh, and rent the car. The cab fare is almost certainly more expensive. Plus, a rental car will give you the option of going someplace better. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/13 "2002-07-15T16:20:11Z")
How far is it going to be from the airport to downtown? ---
**Author:** ![Kepi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kepi/32/7251_2.png) [@Kepi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kepi)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/14 "2002-07-15T16:31:47Z")
Which airport? Hobby or Intercontinental? Hobby to downtown - about 12 miles Intercontinental to downtown - about 20 miles As far as a waterpark, there is one attached to Astroworld. I believe your ticket gives you admission to both parks. There is also another waterpark on the north side of town (near Spring) called Splashtown. Better yet, if it’s water you want, drive down to Galveston and enjoy the beach. It’s about a 45-minute drive, depending on traffic. And I third the “armpit of Texas” description. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/15 "2002-07-15T16:32:07Z")
About 30 minutes from either airport. Rent the car. Astroworld also has a water park - all for the same price. It will be hot and humid. It has been raining for a few days now, which makes this city like a sauna. Look for restaurants on Westheimer or Richmond. Also lots of clubs around there. Get out towards the west away from downtown, though, outside Loop 610. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/16 "2002-07-15T16:39:30Z")
Must be the Houston branch of the Great Amish Conspiracy. “Ah, English, we meet again!” ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/17 "2002-07-15T16:44:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Good place for beer: The Ginger Man > \*\* The Ginger Man! Those were the days… ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/18 "2002-07-15T17:07:50Z")
“Son, your daddy don’t live in Heaven, he’s in Houston, And Houston’s as far from Heaven as you can get…” The Geezinslaws ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/19 "2002-07-15T17:30:08Z")
Like Dolores mentioned, it’s been raining here for days. It’s going to rain again tomorrow. One the day you arrive, the sun is going to come out. It will stay out until, oh I don’t know, Sunday or so. The temps will jump from the 80’s to the middle 90’s. Everywhere you go will be a waterpark. Your brow will be a waterpark. South of the city toward Galveston is a great collection of shops and restaurants called the Kemah Boardwalk. It’s very family friendly. In Galveston proper is a like combination called The Strand. Again, family friendly. Moody Gardens is also on the island and has a world class aquarium, rainforest and an IMAX theater. Makes for an enjoyable half day or so. We fly to Chicago Wednesday. See ya at the airport and enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![Avumede](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/avumede/32/7235_2.png) [@Avumede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avumede)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068/20 "2002-07-15T17:44:06Z")
What, no one mentioned the worse-then-LA smog? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-help-me-im-going-to-houston/119068.md?page=2)