# Lord of the Pants III : Return of the Pants

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [December 23, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594 "2003-12-23T03:50:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Ambumax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Ambumax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambumax)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594/21 "2003-12-23T23:36:50Z")

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Denethor: All is lost! Abandon your pants!

Gandalf: Prepare the defenses, return to your pants!

Pippin: As payment for this deed, I offer you my pants.

Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of pants?

Gimli: This is unheard of; a man and an elf go under pants, where a dwarf will not.

Gandalf: So ends the pants of Icthelion

Faramir: I will do this, but if I return, think better of me Father.  
Denethor: That depends on the manner of your pants.

Orc general: Alright, come on. Pike men in front, pants behind.

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**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\
**Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594/22 "2003-12-24T00:07:15Z")

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**Gandalf the White** : Pants the trolls! Pants the trolls!

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**Author:** ![Tarrsk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@Tarrsk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarrsk)\
**Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594/23 "2003-12-24T01:35:25Z")

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Theoden: Ride now! Ride for pants, and the world’s ending!

Eowyn: Why should he not fight for his pants?

Aragorn: My pants… you bow to _no one._

Samwise (to Shelob): Get away from my pants, you filth!

Faramir: My lord, the pants are overrun!

Gandalf: You’re in the service of the pants, now. You’re going to have to do as you’re told, Peregrin Took, Guard of the Pants.

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**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\
**Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594/24 "2003-12-24T04:05:25Z")

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Orc General:

Pants the hostages!

or,

Release the pants!

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**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\
**Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants-iii-return-of-the-pants/220594/25 "2003-12-24T22:44:45Z")

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Nazgul - “Fool! no pants can kill me!”

Theoden “Aim for the pants!”

Cirith Ungol Orc “Shelob likes her pants…_fresh_”

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