# Lord of the Pants **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 30, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774 "2002-12-30T23:58:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/21 "2002-12-31T03:40:10Z")
Frodo: We wish to stay at the inn. Our pants are our own. Innkeeper: Always happy to cater to little people, Mister… Frodo: Underpants. My name is Underpants. Saruman: You know what I see, Gandalf… a great fly, lidless, wreathed in flame… Gandalf: The pants of Sauron… ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/22 "2002-12-31T03:56:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Epigramcracker \* > \*\*hmm. and just because we’re all HUGE BOROMIR FANS!! (yow YOW!): > \*\* You forgot this classic, which has been causing hilarity at another board I visit for a long time (not my idea, btw): “Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.” This was the guiding principle behind the Bakshi movie, incidentally. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Epigramcracker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Epigramcracker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epigramcracker)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/23 "2002-12-31T04:20:52Z")
> [@](#): > > You forgot this classic, which has been causing hilarity at another board I visit for a long time (not my idea, btw): > > “Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.” lol!! YES YES (precious!)! Awesome–I actually was JUST watching the DVD and I was like, “Gah! How did I miss that?” how about… \*\* It comes in PANTS?!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/24 "2002-12-31T05:46:06Z")
Legolas: PANTS! Saruman: Your love of the Halflings’ pants has clouded your mind. Galadriel, voice-over: The world is changing… I feel it in my pants. ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/25 "2002-12-31T05:56:51Z")
Elrond: Hurry, cast it into my pants! Isildur: No. Elrond: Isilduuuuuur! Arwen: What’s this? A Ranger, caught with his pants down? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/26 "2002-12-31T06:03:31Z")
Aragorn: “I would have gone with you to the end, into the very pants of Mordor.” Aragorn: “Frodo’s fate is no longer in our pants.” Legolas: A shadow of a threat has been growing in my pants." Eomer: “Theoden does not know Friend from Foe anymore. Even in his own pants.” ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/27 "2002-12-31T06:57:58Z")
“You’ll have my sword. And my bow. And my Pants!” “I’ll be dead before I see the ring in the Pants of an Elf.” “Tell me, friend, when did Sauruman the wise abandon Pants for madness?” “There are older and fouler things than Pants in the deep places of the world.” “Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time and rid us of your Pants.” “It’s a riddle. What’s the Elven word for Pants?” “Pants? Twas pants that stayed Bilbo’s hand.” “Where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him. He is fallen into Pants.” “The ring has only one master, and he does not share Pants.” “The hour is late, and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard seeking my Pants.” “You have elected the way of PANTS!” “Oooh, Gandalf. . . elderly chap? Long beard. . . pointy Pants.” “No, indeed. Sam has hardly left your Pants.” “The Pants of Narsil. . .” “It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery Pants from whence it came.” ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/28 "2002-12-31T08:11:42Z")
Gandalf: Don’t tempt me, Frodo! Understand, I would use this ring from a desire to do good; but through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine. Frodo: But it cannot stay in the pants. Gandalf: No! No, it can’t. Frodo: What must I do? Gandalf: You must leave, and leave quickly. Get out of the pants. Head for the village of Bree. You must leave the name of Baggins behind you. That name is not safe outside of the pants. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/29 "2002-12-31T08:29:14Z")
Saruman: His gaze pierces through cloud, shadow, earth and **pants**. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/30 "2002-12-31T16:05:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \* > **“No, indeed. Sam has hardly left your Pants.”** :eek: Erm…YAY! 😃 Thank you ever so much for this one! ::springlering:: ~Ferry, rejoicing ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/31 "2002-12-31T16:36:17Z")
## Bilbo: “What business is it of yours what I do with my own pants?” ## Saruman: “You did not seriously think a hobbit could contend with the pants of Mordor?” ## Eomer: “Do not look for pants here. They have fosaken this land.” Eowyn: “Your pants are posion!” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/32 "2002-12-31T16:37:24Z")
## Bilbo: “What business is it of yours what I do with my own pants?” ## Saruman: “You did not seriously think a hobbit could contend with the pants of Sauron?” ## Eomer: “Do not look for pants here. They have fosaken this land.” Eowyn: “Your pants are posion!” ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/33 "2002-12-31T17:15:10Z")
Boromir: They have _cave_ pants! ---
**Author:** ![Epigramcracker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Epigramcracker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epigramcracker)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/34 "2002-12-31T17:43:49Z")
Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn… FORTH EORLINGPANTS! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/35 "2002-12-31T17:47:00Z")
Have to … stop … reading … keep laughing … gettting looks … from coworkers… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/36 "2002-12-31T17:58:33Z")
The Eye: “I see pants” Aragorn: “I can avoid pants if I wish” “You can no longer wait for the pants, Frodo” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/37 "2002-12-31T18:03:21Z")
## Gandalf: “You wouldn’t deprive an old man of his walking pants?” ## Grima Wormtongue: “I told you to take the wizard’s pants!” Aragorn (after stopping Theoden from killing Grima): “Enough pants have been shed on his account.” PS: Sorry 'bout the double-post earlier. ---
**Author:** ![deadparrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@deadparrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deadparrot)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/38 "2002-12-31T18:25:17Z")
when come back bring pants! …oops…wrong thread… ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/39 "2002-12-31T19:20:22Z")
Merry: “I don’t think he knows about pants, Pip.” Aragorn:“The Mines of Moria are no place for pants.” And of course, there’s the Pantmoot. (Eorlingpants?! I’m dyin’ here!) ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/40 "2002-12-31T22:42:23Z")
## Frodo: “It’s a pity Bilbo didn’t pants him when he had the chance.” ## Gandalf: “Life in the wide world goes on much as it has in this past age, full of its comings and goings, scarcely aware of the existence of pants – for which I am very thankful.” ## Elrond: “I was there the day the pants of men failed.” ## Galadriel: “…But the pants of men are easily corrupted.” ## Galadriel: “For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the pants of all.” ## Galadriel: “All shall pants me and despair!” ## Gandalf: “We must face the long pants of Moria.” ## Sam: “There’s a pants-opener, and no mistake.” ## Gimli: “All who look upon her fall under her pants and are never seen again.” ## Frodo: “I know what you would say and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my pants.” ## Theoden: "I dare not risk open pants. Aragorn: “Open pants are upon you, whether you would risk it or not.” Gandalf: “The battle of Helm’s Deep is over. The battle of pants has begun.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774.md?page=3)