# Lord of the Pants **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 30, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774 "2002-12-30T23:58:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/41 "2002-12-31T23:57:49Z")
“The Hobbitses, they steal our paaannntsssssss…” ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/42 "2003-01-01T06:15:10Z")
**Gandalf** : Hobbits. You can learn all of their ways in a week, and even after a hundred years, they can still pants you. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/43 "2003-01-01T16:24:50Z")
One pants to rule them all. One pants to find them, One pants to bring them all and in the darkness wear them. “Why have these pants come to me?” ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/44 "2003-01-01T16:35:18Z")
“PANTS EORLINGAS!” “Many that live deserve to die. But many who die deserve pants. Can you give that to them?” “The women of this land discovered long ago that those without pants can still dye them.” ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/45 "2003-01-01T16:44:36Z")
“I fear neither pants, nor death” Eowyn “If you’re referrring to the incident with the pants, I was barely involved.” Gandolf ---
**Author:** ![Epigramcracker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Epigramcracker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epigramcracker)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/46 "2003-01-01T16:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish42 \* > **---- > Grima Wormtongue: “I told you to take the wizard’s pants!” > ----** LOL! 😃 woo. Gandalf: I come back to you now… at the turn of the pants. Theoden: No parent should have to bury their pants! (_sic_ regarding the grammatical error \>\_\<) Merry: A treeherder! A shepherd of the pants! Eomer: Look for your friends, but do not trust to pants. They have forsaken these lands. Faramir: A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his pants. Faramir: What did they steal? Gollum: Myyyyyy… PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!!! RRRRRAAAGHHH!! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/47 "2003-01-01T23:40:52Z")
Boromir: One does not simply walk into pants. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/48 "2003-01-02T00:02:13Z")
Saruman:You fear to go into those pants. The Dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of pants. Gimli:Gi: Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled pants of the Dwarves! Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbos hand. Many that live deserve pants, and some that die deserve pants. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Aragorn: Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have pants left. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/49 "2003-01-02T07:22:04Z")
Bilbo: “Old Toby! Best pants in the South Farthing!” Gimli: “If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they’re not, I’d say we were taking the long way 'round……My cousin Balin would give us a royal pantsing.” Gandalf: “The pants don’t smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriaoc, always follow your nose.” Gimli: “Here’s one dwarf she won’t ensare so easily. I have the trousers of a hawk and the pants of a fox.” Gandalf: “Keep it secret. Keep it in your pants.” Gimli: “Yet my axe is restless in my hand. Give me a row of orc necks, and room to swing, and all pants will fall from me.” (sorry, that’s from the Book) ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/50 "2003-01-02T07:47:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*Aragorn: Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have pants left. \*\* …We travel light. Let’s hunt some pants! ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/51 "2003-01-02T08:15:26Z")
Galadriel: “For even if your pants did not concern us greatly, you should have refuge in this city.” “Now you shall rest, and we shall not speak of your pants for a while.” “It seemed to me too,” said Gimli, “That my pants would remain secret, and known only to myself.” Boromir: “I do not feel sure of this elvish lady, and her pants.” Aragorn: “Tonight I will sleep without pants for the first time since I left Rivendale.” “I know what it was you last saw,” said Galadriel, “For that is also in my pants.” Tris ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/52 "2003-01-02T08:45:28Z")
I am liking this game… “We fought far under the living earth, where time is not counted. Ever he pantsed me, and ever I pantsed him, till at last he fled into the dark tunnels.” “‘Pants! Pants!’ cried Aragorn. ‘Would that I looked on you again in happier hour!’” “Shall we rest by night, or shall we go on while our will and pants hold?” “Surely even orcs must pants on the march.” “Seldom will orcs pants in the open under the sun.” “‘Well, let us go on’, said Gimli. 'My legs must forget the miles. They would be more willing, if my pants were less heavy.” Where will it all end? ---
**Author:** ![Parthol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Parthol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parthol)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/53 "2003-01-02T16:16:55Z")
Galadriel: "Do you wish to look into the **pants?** Frodo: “What will I see?” * * * Sam (accusingly): “You’ve been into Farmer Maggot’s **pants!** ” * * * Eowyn: "Who is she? The woman who gave you **those pants?** * * * Sam: "Go on Sam, ask Rosie for **pants.** * * * Merry: “You’re supposed to put it in the **pants** first!” Pippin: "It _is_ in the **pants!** (firework explodes, Pippin screeches) * * * Gandalf: “My dear Bilbo. You haven’t changed **your pants**.” * * * Gimli: "Not the **pants!** * * * Faramir: “…a chance for Faramir to show… his… **pants**.” -parthol ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/54 "2003-01-02T17:17:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Parthol \* > \*\*Merry: “You’re supposed to put it in the **pants** first!” > > Pippin: "It _is_ in the **pants!** > > (firework explodes, Pippin screeches)\*\* If they weren’t first cousins, this would sound very very dirty ^^ ~Ferry. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/55 "2003-01-02T17:29:56Z")
Legolas: Your pants are with you, Aragorn. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/56 "2003-01-02T17:59:59Z")
Sam: Gandalf told me, “Don’t you pants him, Sam Gamgee!” And I don’t intend to. ---
**Author:** ![scablet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@scablet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scablet)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/57 "2003-01-02T22:34:09Z")
Aragorn: “Let’s Pants some orcs!” Gandalf: “If you are a friend, you speak a password, and the Pants will open.” Gandalf: “When in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your Pants.” Frodo: “I am Frodo Baggins, and this is Samwise Gamgee.” Boromir: “His bodyguard?” Sam: “His Pants.” Gimli: “Pants me!” Aragorn: ? Gimli: “I cannot jump the distance. You’ll have to Pants me. … Don’t tell the elf!” ---
**Author:** ![ElfWarriorFuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/94ad74/32.png) [@ElfWarriorFuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElfWarriorFuzzy)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/58 "2003-01-04T08:32:47Z")
_can hardly stop laughing_😃 This thread is awesome!!! -actually when Gimli came up under the one orc, I whispered to my sister, “Uh-oh, I saw Orcish underpants!” Scary indeed…- Bilbo: M…My pants. I should very much like to wear them again…one last time… Gollum: Pants and pool are nice and cool… Eomer: What business do an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly! Gimli: Give me your pants, horsemaster, and I will give ya mine. Arwen: There is still pants. Legolas: Your pants are with you Aragorn. Gimli: Let’s hope they last the night. Sam: But where is he leading us? Strider: To Rivendell Master Gamgee. To the Pants of Elrond. Gollum: We swears! We swears on, on the Pants! Legolas: (in Elvish) You’re late. (common) Pants look terrible. Boromir: The blade that cut the Ring from Sauron’s pants. Sam: Well, let’s see. Ah, lembas pants. And look, more lembas pants. (forgive me Legolas my handsome elf) Legolas: A Lament for Gandalf. Merry: What do they say about him? Legolas: I haven’t the pants to tell you. For me the grief is still too near. Treebeard: I have given your names to the Entmoot and we agreed you are not pants. \*alternative=I have given your pants to the Entmoot and we agreed you are not orcs. ``` *giggles, sighs then smiles* thanks.... I needed that... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/59 "2003-01-04T08:42:39Z")
**Bilbo** : I haven’t pantsed half of you half as well as I should like, and I pantsed less than half of you half as well as you deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774/60 "2003-01-04T11:22:17Z")
Sam: “It’s no use Mr. Frodo, everywhere I lay there’s a dirty great root stickin’ into my pants.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lord-of-the-pants/145774.md?page=4)