# Losing a baby has proven too much. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391 "2002-07-29T16:50:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/41 "2002-07-30T02:33:32Z")
(((((Tiburon)))) You have our hearts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/42 "2002-07-30T02:41:39Z")
**((((Tiburon))))** I can’t really add any more to what’s been said, but you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. To have a double loss in so short a time must be extraordinarily painful, and I wish I could take away some of your pain for you. ☹ F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/43 "2002-07-30T02:42:02Z")
I’m so sorry, **Tibs**. Take the best care of yourself that you can, you deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/44 "2002-07-30T04:01:38Z")
I am so sorry to hear this. The only words of wisdom I have at all came from a friend, who said, “It hurts, and you wake up every day hoping that it will hurt less, and it doesn’t. Stop waiting for it to stop hurting. You will feel whole again, but grief is something you just have to muscle through until it fades.” …lending my arms for muscle with everyone else’s, Juli ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/45 "2002-07-30T06:25:52Z")
I’m sorry, **Tibs**. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/46 "2002-07-30T07:47:14Z")
I’m sorry, **Tiburon**. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is for you. ☹ Hang in there. What I’ve found to be very therapeutic is cartoons. Cartoon Network, Toon Disney … whatever channel you get that shows a lot of cartoons, try watching them. Got me through one of the most difficult periods of my life, thanks to a well-timed 18th birthday gift of a TV. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/47 "2002-07-30T08:01:59Z")
**Tiburon** , my wife and I have lost 4 babies through miscarriage so I understand the grief you are going through. I’m sorry for your loss. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/48 "2002-07-30T10:05:48Z")
{{ **Tiburon** }} My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/49 "2002-07-30T11:50:15Z")
Wow, **Tibs** , I almost don’t know what to say - other than: take good care of yourself. As hard as it shall be, you _will_ overcome this. As bad as you feel now, there will be a day when you’ll look back at this, and be at peace with yourself. It’s not going to be soon, and the road is not going to be easy. But you can, and _will_ get back on track. Good luck, man. ---
**Author:** ![crazy4chaucer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@crazy4chaucer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazy4chaucer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/50 "2002-07-30T13:36:12Z")
Tiburon, (((((((hugs))))))))) I’m so sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. You’re in my thoughts & prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/51 "2002-07-30T13:52:56Z")
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts and prayers, everyone. I truly appreciate it. This board really is unlike any other. I have to dash right now but will be back soon to respond in more detail to everyone’s well wishes and extensions of communication. I truly, truly appreciate it so much. Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/52 "2002-07-30T14:24:07Z")
Tiburon, I’m so very, very sorry - you’re in my thoughts… ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/53 "2002-07-30T15:14:18Z")
Thank you to everyone who posted. It was so damn nice to see all the well wishes, kind words, and hugs and prayers. To all of you who have extended your e-mail address or phone number, \*\* cjhoworth, Kaotic Newtral\*\* (I am sorry to hear about your relationship with your wife ending - hugs to you) **, Scotticher, bodypoet,** etc…Thank you for extending yourself like that. That’s so considerate and as time goes by and this sinks in, don’t be surprised to hear from me. (Sorry if I have missed anyone who offered of e-mail or phone number - not intentional at all.) **Dragonblink** - I will start watching cartoons immediately. I like Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. Thank you for the good suggestion. **Kal** - I am so sorry to hear that you lost babies, too. Good thoughts to you and thank you for yours. **Tomcat** - That was a really nice post. Thank you for the kind words. **Ellen Cherry** - I’m sorry to hear that you lost your daughter. ☹ Thank you for your support. **Carodin, GrizzRich, OldBroad** - Thank you for the links. I will check them out. **iampunha** - I’ll take outstretched arms any day of the week - thank you. **Medea’s Child** - I just started a massive paint by numbers (that sounds silly but it’s extremely detailed) that will keep me busy for a long time - that was a great suggestion; thank you so much. **Adoptamom** - I am sorry to hear about the miscarriages. My best to you. **Tansu** - Thank you for such nice words. That is very sweet. **gatopescado** - Maybe I’ll weld myself to my next girlfriend. no, no, just kidding - thank you for the great suggestion. **dalovindj** - Your post wasn’t cheesy at all - it was very king and I will be searching soon for many calm spots in which to relax. **Bodypoet** - Your post wasn’t condescending at all. I appreciate your kind words so much. Thank you. And truly, big thanks to everyone who posted. That really means a lot to me. Love, Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/54 "2002-07-30T16:27:24Z")
Tiburon, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. You don’t know me. I’m just a lurker. But I’ve lost two children in infancy. It ended my marriage. Took me many, many years of support groups and therapy to sort it all out. (compassionate friends is great) You are not alone. Allow yourself time to heal and grieve. Try and take things one day at a time and if you feel like talking with someone who understands and has been there you can e-mail me. Best wishes to you. ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/55 "2002-07-30T17:53:59Z")
**Tiburon** I’m never sure what to say for someone’s loss. Hug yourself for me, or better yet, get a close friend to do it. Never be afraid to cry, it helps. Lots of love. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/56 "2002-07-30T18:42:45Z")
I am so very sorry for your losses. Lay low. Take it one moment at a time and one day, I swear, you will feel sunshine again on your face. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/57 "2002-07-31T01:16:57Z")
That’s awful Tibs. I am so very sorry for your losses. I’ll second the message boards at ParentsPlace (iVillage), they’re full of compassionate people and deal with all things parenting. Here are link to some relevent boards: [Pregnancy Loss](http://boards.parentsplace.com/messages/get/pppregnancyloss279.html) [Grieving](http://boards2.parentsplace.com/messages/get/ppgrieving35.html) [Moving on after a loss](http://boards.parentsplace.com/messages/get/ppresolutions32.html) [Main Message Board List](http://www.parentsplace.com/messageboards/) Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/58 "2002-07-31T01:19:46Z")
Tiburon, I’m so very sorry for your devastating losses. The only thing I can recommend, other than what other people have offered is the thing that helped me through my most dreadful times: exercise. You get on that treadmill and you just pound away all your anger and sadness. Or take a kickboxing class and kick the shit out of the punching bag. At the very least it’ll help you sleep better and perhaps even stave off depression. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. You are stronger than you know and you will make it. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391/59 "2002-07-31T03:39:22Z")
Oh, Tiburon, I’m so sorry. If you ever want to talk, I’m happy to listen. My email address and aim screen name are on my profile. Don’t hesitate if you need someone to talk to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/losing-a-baby-has-proven-too-much/121391.md?page=2)