# Lost a 6th Grade Student **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530 "2025-11-03T15:51:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/1 "2025-11-03T15:51:10Z")
It turns out that, over the weekend, one of our 6th grade students was killed in an automobile accident and his 3 siblings were left without a mother. We were called together at 8:00 am and given the news. It was really a gut punch. Around 9:00 am I got an email that instructed me to take the “appropriate actions” in Powerschool. i realized that this never happened before, and I had no idea what the appropriate actions are. I sat depressed for a while and then did the research. It turns out that, among the several reasons from which we can choose as to why a student is dropped, “death” is actually one of them. Students are never eliminated from the database from here all the way up to the ISBE database so, I was informed, his State ID will be deactivated in perpetuity under the category of “deceased”. I felt like he was declared dead a second time. It’s been a shitty morning. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/2 "2025-11-03T15:54:39Z")
Were you his teacher? If so, looking up “advising children about death” may be in order. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/3 "2025-11-03T15:59:55Z")
No, I’m tech. I feel like I declared him dead for a second time, ending his existence forever. There was a finality to it. He had ten years on this earth. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/4 "2025-11-03T16:01:37Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I felt like he was declared dead a second time. Sorry about this tragedy. But honestly, death in a civilized (bureaucratic) society is always like this. There’s the reality of personal death, and then there’s always a multitude of bureaucratic declarations of death. Always brought to mind the relevant metaphor of “more nails in the coffin” as the reality of death spreads further into the mechanics of society. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/5 "2025-11-03T16:07:15Z")
I’m sorry, Jasmine. I’m sure you do feel stunned. Did you know him? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/6 "2025-11-03T16:07:30Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > It turns out that, over the weekend, one of our 6th grade students was killed in an automobile accident and his 3 siblings were left without a mother. I’m very sorry to hear about this tragedy, but I’m having trouble parsing this sentence. How are the kids suddenly without a mother? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/7 "2025-11-03T16:07:54Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > How are the kids suddenly without a mother? I assume she died in the same collision. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/8 "2025-11-03T16:10:30Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m very sorry to hear about this tragedy, but I’m having trouble parsing this sentence. How are the kids suddenly without a mother? He and his mother were killed, but his 3 siblings survived, which means they do not have a mother anymore because she died with their brother. ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/9 "2025-11-03T18:02:26Z")
That is sad. My heart’s out to you and your school. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/10 "2025-11-03T18:08:08Z")
I’m so so sorry. I hope his classmates are being handled gently. Poor family. @Jasmine , do something in the way of memorial and have some closure on it. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/11 "2025-11-03T18:10:19Z")
That is so sad. I hope your school provides support not just for the students, but for you and other admin staff. ---
**Author:** ![Sine\_Nomine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sine_nomine/32/513_2.png) [@Sine\_Nomine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sine_Nomine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/12 "2025-11-03T18:51:19Z")
I’m so sorry to hear that. I work in payroll and have had similar experiences. The knowledge that there was a human with a personality, thoughts, and hobbies, who has left behind a grieving family and friends, juxtaposed with the utter mundanity of following a protocol for closing out their electronic records is always borderline surreal. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/13 "2025-11-03T18:59:20Z")
Fortunately, they do. We have a very large support staff, and they have been working hard all day long to give an ear and show care. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/14 "2025-11-03T19:10:19Z")
This is horrific, and I’m sorry. I’m also a little frustrated/angry that your admin didn’t have “appropriate action” guidance for you at 8:00am. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/15 "2025-11-03T19:22:17Z")
I’m so sorry, Jasmine. Having been there, only with high school kids, I can empathize. I had a student who died of a sudden illness, and his name on my roster every day was like a little land mine. I couldn’t bring myself to delete it, as like you said, it felt like a second death, so a tech did it for me. Bless you and all techs. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/16 "2025-11-03T20:19:52Z")
Such a tragedy for everyone. Such a young child and mother lost to the world. And now the rest of the family left to deal with the trauma. Rough days ahead. It is difficult to enter these kinds of events into a system that needs its updates. It feels so disconnected. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/17 "2025-11-03T20:27:39Z")
I thank you all for your thoughts and kindness! 💓 ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/18 "2025-11-03T21:29:51Z")
I just retired after working as a school librarian for 20 years. I can’t imagine showing up for work and finding out one of my students was gone. ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/19 "2025-11-03T21:36:21Z")
I’m sorry you’re having to experience this, Jasmine. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2025, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530/20 "2025-11-03T22:14:25Z")
Hearts out to you, the survivors, and the whole school community. That’s rough. So sorry ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lost-a-6th-grade-student/1024530.md?page=2)