# LOTR Limerick Smackdown: Summarise A Novel In A Limerick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 14, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438 "2005-03-14T08:53:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/81 "2005-03-17T06:16:14Z")
Rhyming hear with here… _kisses fingertips_ _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/82 "2005-03-17T08:01:28Z")
Drug, virus, religion or worse? It threatens the whole Metaverse! The _nam-shub_ of Enki Leaves programmers _genki_ It blocks that Sumerian curse ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/83 "2005-03-17T08:31:12Z")
There was a Priory, of Sion. 'Twas studied by symbologist Langdon. With a painting of Mary, A conspiracy - scary!, The great Jesus coverup clangs on. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/84 "2005-03-17T08:31:33Z")
There was a Priory, of Sion. 'Twas studied by symbologist Langdon. With a painting of Mary, A conspiracy - scary!, The great Jesus coverup clangs on. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/85 "2005-03-17T12:50:17Z")
A violent and clever young pup Commits ultraviolence, screws up They muck with his head He’s left nearly dead Your Humble Narrator grows up. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/86 "2005-03-17T15:46:18Z")
> [@Miss Violaceous](#): > > A violent and clever young pup > Commits ultraviolence, screws up > They muck with his head > He’s left nearly dead > Your Humble Narrator grows up. US Edition: A violent and clever young pup Commits ultraviolence, screws up They muck with his head He’s left nearly dead 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/87 "2005-03-17T20:01:20Z")
Candide is an honest, young lad Who loses everything he had For his love, he looks In a world full of crooks, Hey, farming isn’t so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/88 "2005-03-17T20:40:35Z")
A glum indecisive young Dane Hesistated avenging: insane Or feigning his madness? Ophelia’s sadness Drowned her, then the whole court was slain ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/89 "2005-03-17T20:59:54Z")
A brilliant scientist (of course) Meets a girl of great resource From the Louvre to the Borders they strode Jumping from windows and breaking the Code Which revealed that Jesus digged whores ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/90 "2005-03-17T21:37:22Z")
Franz Kafka’s “The Castle” was odd, published posthumously by buddy Max Brod. Kafka left it unfinished, ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/91 "2005-03-17T21:46:54Z")
There once was a Horselover Fat, who wasn’t where Philip was at. Though tormented with doubt he figures EVERYTHING out, as insane as the shit of a bat. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/92 "2005-03-17T21:57:50Z")
The folks at Ingen were quite bright “Let us bring dinos to light!” A storm came their way, the humans did pay as dinos attacked through the night. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/93 "2005-03-17T22:06:32Z")
There once was a right noble page Who was taught by wizardly sage He pulled a sword from a stone Which won him the throne He’ll be reborn in a future age. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/94 "2005-03-17T22:36:36Z")
Ah plukey-faced wanker cauld Rent oan heroin’s caunstantly bent. Taels us “choose life” is shite, an ye ken he’s haf right; but that’s jist as the fuckin cunt went! ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/95 "2005-03-18T01:57:48Z")
In a book by that hipster Ken Kesey a psycho ward turns rather sleazy. When bad goes to worse Randle throttles Big Nurse. Now his brains are like eggs over easy. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/96 "2005-03-18T02:54:18Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Ah plukey-faced wanker cauld Rent > oan heroin’s caunstantly bent. > Taels us “choose life” is shite, > an ye ken he’s haf right; > but that’s jist as the fuckin cunt went! I love all this stuff… but this one’s my new fave. Thanks, **pravnik**. Spot on! And now for something completely different… Gilgamesh and his buddy carouse, spurn the gods, and kill sacred cows. After making a dive he could still be alive if not for his penchant to drowse. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/97 "2005-03-18T03:04:29Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > The folks at Ingen were quite bright > “Let us bring dinos to light!” > A storm came their way, > **the humans did pay > as dinos attacked through the night**. Knew you would see the light eventually, **Finchie**! For nearly seven hundred pages (what seems like aeons and ages) Four men and a nutter Provide King’s bread and butter; Not one for the bibliophages ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/98 "2005-03-18T03:17:33Z")
Cashing in on Sinophilia Amy Tan wrote many drivel, ah! With ehs! and oyos! She filled her folios You ever lookie anything sillier? ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/99 "2005-03-18T16:37:18Z")
If the purpose of life you have missed, then you must read this book. I insist! Since a kidnapper’s victim used its words to evict him, it’s back on the best-seller list. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438/100 "2005-03-19T01:25:46Z")
Didn’t get your latest gem, **S the D**. Care to help? Attempting to keep pace with the master: “A bear of very little brain Sailed a brolly upturned in the rain. A piglet to save He was ever so brave Though as e’er a right royal pain” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lotr-limerick-smackdown-summarise-a-novel-in-a-limerick/294438.md?page=6)