# Lottery winner wants to share her winngs with beloved brother; husband disagrees. Thoughts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 2, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204 "2013-08-02T23:43:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/21 "2013-08-03T04:44:07Z")
I’m not sure. What color are George’s shoes? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/22 "2013-08-03T07:50:31Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > He’s not happy doing anything more than co-signing a bank loan for Barry. > What do you think Beverly should do? \*\*GET AN INVESTMENT ADVISOR. \*\* And a second independent investment advisor to stop the first one scaming her. And a third one with some kind of debt-repayment experience to try to explain to George, very carefully, that **co-signing a bank loan with his brother-in-law is a very bad idea** , kind of the same as giving away the whole 60 million, plus the house and the car, and then depending on consumer protection laws and the charity of the banks. As long as Barry has any unsecured loans, the bank will take any money it is paid to pay out the unsecured loans first. And they won’t release the first loan until it is paid out. And it won’t be paid out as long as any payment George makes to the bank goes to pay out Barry’s unsecured loans first. And they’ll keep on loaning him more money as long as George has any money left. Depending on what consumer protoction laws George is covered by, and how much he pays for the loan, there are probably rules to protect ignorant people like George. But he shouldn’t depend on it. With 60M, there are going to be all kinds of people offering cheaper commercial loans that don’t include any consumer protection. He needs to bring his money-management skills up to speed fast. In the mean time, straight gift to the brother-in-law. No strings, no liability, no come back. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/23 "2013-08-03T08:00:40Z")
Cut DH a check for $30M and tell him to MHOB about how she spends her share. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/24 "2013-08-03T09:44:12Z")
She should get rid of George, but since she married his dumb ass she’ll probably just keep coming back. They always do. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/25 "2013-08-03T11:01:49Z")
As Dan Savage says, DTMFA. There’s nothing wrong with her affection for her brother and giving him a small share of her good fortune is really good. If George can’t handle it, dump him. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/26 "2013-08-03T11:37:27Z")
My brother and I who don’t even have a sad childhood story, but just have a close relationship anyway because we like each other, have already talked about how we would share lottery winnings. I vote for Barry, and the services of Oakminster. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/27 "2013-08-03T11:52:34Z")
Give bro some money. Pack suitcases with all the cash and disappear. Poof. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/28 "2013-08-03T12:17:26Z")
Aren’t their lives going to be tangled up together, lottery winnings or not? He’s still her brother regardless, and they are very close. If hubby didn’t like that he shouldn’t have married her. That he did, says he’s made his peace with it already, to some degree. I’m not buying the hubby’s reasoning at all, sorry. And I don’t believe, for one minute, that a man who’s wife just won 30mil would much care how much she shares with her brother. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/29 "2013-08-03T13:35:50Z")
I’m an only child so maybe should not have an opinion here, but since no one else has mentioned this aspect: did George think there might be incest going on? And was there? And if yes and yes, then NO, don’t give the brother any money and stop seeing him. And furthermore, why did she insist this is OUR money if she really didn’t mean it? Did she think George would be ok with giving some to the brother? Or did she never intend to give brother any? Seems like she didn’t think very far ahead. I don’t think George is totally the villain here, actually. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/30 "2013-08-03T16:02:57Z")
Polygamy is the only recourse ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/31 "2013-08-03T16:14:25Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I’m an only child so maybe should not have an opinion here, but since no one else has mentioned this aspect: did George think there might be incest going on? And was there? And if yes and yes, then NO, don’t give the brother any money and stop seeing him. I don’t think incest is a reasonable assumption from what we know about Barry and Beverly. And holy crap, if that’s what he thinks is going on than why the hell did he marry her in the first place? The fact that Barry and Beverly are basically each others only living family and George thinks he should be allowed to dictate their behavior based on his comfort level is gross and controlling even before the lotto money comes in to play. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/32 "2013-08-03T16:21:48Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I’m an only child so maybe should not have an opinion here, but since no one else has mentioned this aspect: did George think there might be incest going on? And was there? And if yes and yes, then NO, don’t give the brother any money and stop seeing him. > > And furthermore, why did she insist this is OUR money if she really didn’t mean it? Did she think George would be ok with giving some to the brother? Or did she never intend to give brother any? Seems like she didn’t think very far ahead. I don’t think George is totally the villain here, actually. Your ideas about sibling relationships are rather lurid. George sounds like he’s _always_ been out of line. There’s nothing wrong with close bonds between siblings. Beverly was too kind to George when she allowed him to come between her & her brother; is \*George \*an only child? She was showing excessive concern in asking his permission to give money to her brother. Unfortunately, in a community property state, it will probably be an expensive divorce. But Beverly will still have plenty of money & a brother who loves her. She’ll probably find a better husband, too… ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/33 "2013-08-03T17:47:27Z")
According to the OP, “Though she and she alone bought the winning ticket (George refuses to gamble in any game not named “poker” and for any stakes other than Cheetos), and though the check was made out to her alone, she considers that the money belongs to them both.” Thus, she is not exactly showing excessive concern in asking George’s OPINION (not permission) to give money to her brother. Also George didn’t “forbid” her from giving the money; he just said if she did, it would mean she didn’t really think of it as “their” money but as “hers.” Which is quite true. Also, I don’t really suspect incest. But I wonder if George did. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/34 "2013-08-03T18:23:52Z")
And investment adviser and a lifelong, monthly annuity to Barry in the form of a trust so it doesn’t go with Barry’s bad business investments. And if George doesn’t like it, George can take his divorce settlement and leave - it sounds like Barry has bothered him a LONG time. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/35 "2013-08-03T18:49:23Z")
Just sounds like a bad marriage from the get-go to me. Wife & I have made all the decisions about this in case we do win. Part of the fantasy of it all. What should she do? Whatever she wants & is big enough to do. Not my business. If I knew them I’d be jealous of course. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/36 "2013-08-03T18:52:59Z")
George needs to get over himself. She should give Barry the money and give George an ultimatum in the form of, “I love you, George, but you’re not going to control my life. You can do what you want with your half of the money–this half’s mine and I’m giving some of it to my brother. Deal or we’ll call it quits and go our separate ways.” Probably a nicer form of that since George doesn’t sound like a complete twit to me–he sounds like a loving husband who’s a little insecure about one aspect of his wife’s life. He should get a fair chance to realize that he’s being unreasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/37 "2013-08-03T18:57:29Z")
Even with fictional characters, the SDMB never fails to call for divorce. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/38 "2013-08-03T18:59:40Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Even with fictional characters, the SDMB never fails to call for divorce. Well, in defense of at least my comments–I think she and George can work it out. If it really is a loving relationship with just this one sticking point, that’s no different than pretty much every other marriage out there. If George really is shallow enough that he’d leave his wife over giving her brother a small portion of her lottery winnings, then he’s got some serious issues, but serious issues can be worked through. I just don’t think Beverly should back down on giving Barry the money. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/39 "2013-08-03T19:05:31Z")
> [@](#): > > If they give Barry this money, it will surely result in a greater entanglement of him in their lives, George says How could he possibly think this? It’s ridiculous. The siblings already have some creepy touchy feely codependant relationship so how would everyone being a millionaire get them more entangled? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204/40 "2013-08-03T21:07:39Z")
That’s a good question, actually; does anyone else in this thread think that the sibling relationship is at all squicky or creepy? If so, does that make you more sympathetic to George at all? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lottery-winner-wants-to-share-her-winngs-with-beloved-brother-husband-disagrees-thoughts/665204.md?page=3)