# Love is the best thing in the world...except for a nice MLT. Mutton, lettuce and tomato... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 26, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089 "2012-02-26T23:02:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/61 "2012-03-05T22:05:50Z")
There is not-a much money in the Revenge Business. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/62 "2012-03-05T22:10:50Z")
Inconceivable! ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/63 "2012-03-05T22:11:27Z")
You’re using Bonnetti’s defense against me, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/64 "2012-03-05T22:14:07Z")
It seems only fitting, considering the terrain. (is it sad that the response was automatic? :smack: ) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/65 "2012-03-05T22:22:54Z")
I must admit - you are better at this than I am. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/66 "2012-03-06T00:01:20Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I’ll explain. And I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. I actually said that once to a teenaged male customer wearing a teeshirt bearing the words “Rock Out With Your Cock Out!” who was being a douchebag. I told him his shirt was offensive and rude and he was all, “Uh..whut?”. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/67 "2012-03-06T00:08:32Z")
Where am I? _The pit of despair! Don’t even think…_ Hrack…Wheeze… Hrmmm… Hrmmm… Don’t even think about trying to escape. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/68 "2012-03-06T00:13:27Z")
What I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak! ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/69 "2012-03-06T00:31:39Z")
As you wissssssh ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/70 "2012-03-06T01:26:08Z")
You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/71 "2012-03-06T01:35:47Z")
I could kill you now… ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/72 "2012-03-06T01:56:34Z")
Good night Westly, sleep well, I’ll probably kill you in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/73 "2012-03-06T02:02:02Z")
Please consider me as an alternative to suicide. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/74 "2012-03-06T02:19:56Z")
> [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > My favorite line (of jillions from this film) as well. Check out this tee shirt… > > [http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/9f70/?cpg=froogle](http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/9f70/?cpg=froogle) I have the shirt! My son and DiL got it for me for Xmas. I love it! Back to the thread: When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I’m gonna read it to you. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/75 "2012-03-06T02:25:50Z")
I’ve done that already, and I haven’t the slightest intention of ever doing it again. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/76 "2012-03-06T02:34:53Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Inconceivable! Shouldn’t that be “Incon-_theevable_!” ? “I want my father back, you son of a bitch!” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/77 "2012-03-06T02:37:53Z")
> [@NoCoolUserName](#): > > I have the shirt! My son and DiL got it for me for Xmas. I love it! > > Back to the thread: > > When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I’m gonna read it to you. you know - i’ve heard that line a thousand times - and this is the first time the implication fell on my head - \ Is this a kissing book? ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/78 "2012-03-06T02:51:21Z")
She discovered that when he said “As you wish…” what he really meant was “I love you…”. _swoon_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/79 "2012-03-06T03:01:13Z")
“You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.” ---
**Author:** ![blastedoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@blastedoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blastedoak)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089/80 "2012-03-06T05:28:14Z")
“I will never doubt again.” “There will never be a need.” and “you’re alive; if you want, I can fly.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world-except-for-a-nice-mlt-mutton-lettuce-and-tomato/614089.md?page=5)