# Love is.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910 "2009-11-09T16:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/21 "2009-11-10T01:15:21Z")
Love is…recognizing paraphrased Heinlein quotes when you see them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/22 "2009-11-10T01:22:22Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Love is…recognizing paraphrased Heinlein quotes when you see them. There is no such thing as a _paraphased quote_. That’s not what _paraphrase_ and _quote_ mean. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/23 "2009-11-10T01:28:40Z")
\*\*Love is the mental state combining affection, lust, trust, respect, & commitment. Love is a delusional state caused by hormones. Love is nature’s way of tricking us into reproducing. Love is evolution’s way of keeping us from strangling crying newborns. Stoopid Rhymer! You left out \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. \*\* I picked all of those. As for what was left out; beside its other aspects, I consider love a tool of deception. It’s useful to be able to convince a potential mate that you’ll be completely devoted them forever; and the best way to convince them of that is to believe it yourself. Someone in love is generally going to be more convincing in their speeches of absolute devotion, since they believe it, than someone who realizes they are, at best, making promises about an unknowable future. And then a better prospect comes along, and they fall out of love with the old and fall in love with the new…and again believe their promises to the new person that _ **this** _ time they’ll be devoted forever. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/24 "2009-11-10T01:33:26Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > There is no such thing as a _paraphased quote_. That’s not what _paraphrase_ and _quote_ mean. Nay, foul Skald! By inserting Heinlein into the phrase I made the word ‘paraphrased’ modify the double-word-score ‘Heinlein quote’. Thus the usage is correct, sir! Correct! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/25 "2009-11-10T01:43:38Z")
A battlefield. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/26 "2009-11-10T01:45:20Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Nay, foul Skald! > > By inserting Heinlein into the phrase I made the word ‘paraphrased’ modify the double-word-score ‘Heinlein quote’. Thus the usage is correct, sir! Correct! Fool of a Took! A quote is an _exact repetition_. A paraphrase is a _repeat of another’s sentiment with the words changed_–i.e., not exact. Adding the qualifier _Heinlein_ does not alter the essential conflict between _paraphrase_ and _quote_. Next you’ll be claiming that Jimmy Kimmel is a male lesbian. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/27 "2009-11-10T01:47:43Z")
As I’m sure a dozen or more other folks have already pointed out, “love” refers to multiple situations/relationships/emotions. I love my Dad and my Aunt Sue but I have not “fallen in love” with either of them, and have also never sat around pondering whether or not my feelings for either of them was “true love”. Restricting to the more limited / more celebrated sexualized love and what it is, or isn’t: • it’s partially hormonal. it’s addictive, it’s an incredible high (with absolutely HORRID withdrawal symptoms ), it messes with your sleep patterns, your eating patterns, futzes with your mental concentration quite a bit. • but at the same time it keys off of intellectual processes, communication, a sense of shared understanding, and also from emotion-laden conclusions (some conscious, some less so) about the other person and about your affinity for each other. • it is what it is; from precisely WHAT platform could you point a finger at it and declare it false, illusory, not what it purports to be, etc? when you say so, your feet have to be grounded on some form of human experience that you think more solid and reliable and trustworthy. rigorous logic or a life ruled by other passions are all prey to their own illusions and misrepresentations. (but yeah I critique it too; you almost have to, don’t you?) • not only is it confused (by using the same name for it) with love in the sense that you love your Dad and your Aunt Sue, it is also confused (and with less ease of distinction and clarification) with feelings or attitudes NOT hormonally driven yet for which the pertinent object is your sexual partner. people in long-term relationships may best relate to the distinction between loving one’s partner and being “in love with” that person, the latter of which may be a heady passion fondly remembered while the former is an aspect of the current day. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/28 "2009-11-10T02:11:37Z")
> [@bup](#): > > …a terrible comic strip. Darn you, bup! Darn you to heck! Stoopid Rhymer! You left out \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. a comic strip. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/29 "2009-11-10T02:37:46Z")
> [@ToeJam](#): > > I fully agreed. But I picked all the others rather than just two. 😃 > > Though I don’t believe 6 to be really true. I do believe it has been selected for, but I don’t believe “love” is the term given to that which prevents us from devouring our young… > Otherwise, things like Jellyfish, Ladybugs, and scorpions “love”. But newborn jellyfish, ladybugs and scorpions don’t cry inconsolably for three solid days, either. Nor do they need to nurse for 45 minutes, every single solitary hour. Alternating with crying all night. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/30 "2009-11-10T02:45:23Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > But newborn jellyfish, ladybugs and scorpions don’t cry inconsolably for three solid days, either. Nor do they need to nurse for 45 minutes, every single solitary hour. Alternating with crying all night. Maybe the felines have something, there. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/31 "2009-11-10T02:46:11Z")
I like some of the things M. Scott Peck said about it. "Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity. . .Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom. . . . love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth…true love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does’.” “Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/32 "2009-11-10T03:10:28Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Love is an action, an activity. . .Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom. . . . love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. Have you ever been married? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/33 "2009-11-10T03:22:04Z")
> [@bup](#): > > …a terrible comic strip. You know what you two need? A little comic strip called “Love Is…” It’s about two naked eight-year-olds who are married. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/34 "2009-11-10T04:02:12Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > You know what you two need? A little comic strip called “Love Is…” It’s about two naked eight-year-olds who are married. What does it mean, “You two”? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/35 "2009-11-10T04:05:59Z")
Love is like sounds, whose last reverberations Hang on the leaves of strange trees, on mountains As distant as the curving of the earth, Where the snow hangs still in the middle of the air. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/36 "2009-11-10T04:25:19Z")
Love is power discourse, or it’s kidding itself. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/37 "2009-11-10T04:29:00Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Love is power discourse, or it’s kidding itself. What the crap does that even think it means? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/38 "2009-11-10T04:37:08Z")
… tender cunnilingus, with a finger in her ass? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/39 "2009-11-10T04:37:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What the crap does that even think it means? It’s one person prevailing on another for a) emotional, b) sexual or c) material reasons, or else it’s one or _both_ people kidding themselves it’s not happening, usually for a) emotional reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/40 "2009-11-10T04:39:55Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > It’s one person prevailing on another for a) emotional, b) sexual or c) material reasons, or else it’s one or _both_ people kidding themselves it’s not happening, usually for a) emotional reasons. Please don’t take this as an insult; it is not intended as such. But it makes me sad that you believe this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910.md?page=3)