# Love is.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910 "2009-11-09T16:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/41 "2009-11-10T05:10:27Z")
It ain’t no picnic for me either. Sometimes I think the belief has me, rather than _vice versa._ ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/42 "2009-11-10T07:23:56Z")
Lust is easy to cast aside for feelings of love. When I hold the love of my life in my arms… I cannot express the feelings of peace with words. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/43 "2009-11-10T08:09:45Z")
Love is a horrific illusion that wants to stab you in the face. DON’T LET IT! (bitter, party of one.) ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/44 "2009-11-10T10:19:08Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > What does it mean, “You two”? :dubious: Simpsons quote. Homer to the van Houtens. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/45 "2009-11-10T12:02:44Z")
Stupid **Rhymer** , you left out _a form of psychosis_. That doesn’t necessarily make it bad, and it’s other things as well, but it’s most assuredly that. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/46 "2009-11-10T14:31:48Z")
…never having to say you’re sorry. Bonus points to those who can name the two movies this is from. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/47 "2009-11-10T14:49:03Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > …never having to say you’re sorry. > Bonus points to those who can name the two movies this is from. 😃 Ryan O’neil (sp) in _Love Story_ and RO replies to Streisand saying it something like, “That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard in my life” in another film. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/48 "2009-11-10T15:39:19Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Stupid **Rhymer** , you left out _a form of psychosis_. That doesn’t necessarily make it bad, and it’s other things as well, but it’s most assuredly that. It’s “Stoopid Rhymer!”, not “Stupid Rhymer,” my friend. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/49 "2009-11-10T15:43:59Z")
Love is like a hurricane; it happens in Florida and it ruins everything. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/50 "2009-11-10T16:36:22Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Have you ever been married? Why, yes. Three times. 😉 This last one has been successful, because we’ve figured out how to do that - ‘extend one’s self for the purpose of nuturing another’. You have to have trust in each other for it to work; and you both have to be as consistent as you can be with the nurturing. You have to be able to let your guard down and let the relationship just ‘be’. It’s indescribably delicious. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/51 "2009-11-10T17:59:08Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > It’s indescribably delicious. So’s an Almond Joy, and I’ve been through more than three. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/52 "2009-11-10T19:19:34Z")
#2, hands down. I prefer this wording, however: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” (Robert A. Heinlein) . ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/53 "2009-11-10T20:19:30Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > … tender cunnilingus, with a finger in her ass? And they say romance is dead. {Sighs romantically} ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/54 "2009-11-10T20:50:56Z")
taking the beer cans out of the back of your truck before you take her to the drive in. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/55 "2009-11-10T21:36:19Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > #2, hands down. > I prefer this wording, however: > > “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” (Robert A. Heinlein) > > . That phrasing is not identical in meaning to what I wrote, though. If happiness were the only criterion, then I would not object if someone I loved became addicted to heroin, so long as the drug were making her happy. Also, loving someone can lead one to commit actions which bring the actor peace rather than happiness. For instance, I was once in love with a woman but came to realize that she was truly better off without me. There was a point during the dissolution the relationship in which it seemed very likely that she would choose to remain with me, even though she knew she should not. That would have made me happy, but I could not have been at peace. (I hope that doesn’t sound self-aggrandizing. I don’t mean that I was being all that self-sacrificing; rather, I mean that there were things I valued more than my own happiness and I acted to obtain what I valued.) ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/56 "2009-11-11T04:52:25Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > So’s an Almond Joy, and I’ve been through more than three. 🙂 I guess, sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/57 "2009-11-11T05:57:16Z")
Love is the state in which the well-being of another person is essential to one’s peace of mind. “Love is what you’ve been through with someone.” ~James Thurber “Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people, you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting.” ~Sylvester Stallone “Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke “Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name.” ~Mignon McLaughlin, \*The Neurotic’s Notebook \* “Love is staying up all night with a sick child – or a healthy adult.” ~Sir David Paradine Frost “Love is voluntary insanity, infernal paradise, and celestial hell – in short, harmony of opposite yearnings, sorrowful laughter, soft diamond.” ~Umberto Eco “To love a thing means wanting it to live.” ~Confucius “You know you love someone when you feel their pain and joy as powerfully as your own.” ~Ann Brashares ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/58 "2009-11-11T06:57:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > That phrasing is not identical in meaning to what I wrote, though. If happiness were the only criterion, then I would not object if someone I loved became addicted to heroin, so long as the drug were making her happy. Also, loving someone can lead one to commit actions which bring the actor peace rather than happiness. For instance, I was once in love with a woman but came to realize that she was truly better off without me. There was a point during the dissolution the relationship in which it seemed very likely that she would choose to remain with me, even though she knew she should not. That would have made me happy, but I could not have been at peace. > > (I hope that doesn’t sound self-aggrandizing. I don’t mean that I was being all that self-sacrificing; rather, I mean that there were things I valued more than my own happiness and I acted to obtain what I valued.) Point taken. But to me it’s unnecessary. I’m not saying “I’m happy if she’s happy”, but rather “If she isn’t happy, I can’t be either.” ANYWAY, I still think #2 is the correct choice on your list. . ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910/59 "2009-11-11T11:42:52Z")
**Love does no consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.** The Little Prince said it best. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-is/516910.md?page=2)