# Love: It will "just happen" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2007, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351 "2007-09-07T13:33:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/361 "2007-10-01T23:33:32Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] Someone mentioned ‘unequal’ couples, as far as looks are concerned. How often is the guy considerably more attractive than the woman? Rarely, I’d say. And these guys aren’t all millionaires [/QUOTE] So are there a very large number of relationships in which the guy is slightly more attractive than the woman, or are there a number of ugly girls or good-looking guys who are out of the game altogether? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/362 "2007-10-02T00:02:26Z")
The thread lives again. Bwahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/363 "2007-10-02T01:36:53Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] The thread lives again. Bwahahahaha! [/QUOTE] This thread and my restaurant thread will be with us forever, sort of like when you step in chewing gum. I’m betting that your lonely thread will be like that too. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/364 "2007-10-02T07:04:19Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] You don’t seem to be understanding that I’m not griping against non-dancers, I’m griping against the attitude by a lot of men (and posted here regarding just the dancing portion by **PG** ), that boils down to saying to the woman “your reason(s) for not giving me your number or dating me are not legitimate, or valid, and further, you are silly for having them”. [/QUOTE] And, of course, I have never said that or anything similar to it. Which you know, or you’d point out where I said it. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/365 "2007-10-02T07:06:28Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] And, of course, I have never said that or anything similar to it. Which you know, or you’d point out where I said it. [/QUOTE] Sigh. I already did that (a few posts up IIRC). ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/366 "2007-10-02T07:13:59Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] Sigh. I already did that (a few posts up IIRC). [/QUOTE] You mean post 352? Nope, nothing there about women’s choices being invalid, stupid or unfair. Come on, why not just be a big person? You’ve seen, or think you’ve seen, the attitude you’re describing elsewhere, and when you saw my posts you jumped the gun, mistakenly thinking I was an example of that attitude. Is that such a horrible thing to admit to? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/367 "2007-10-02T07:41:17Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] You mean post 352? Nope, nothing there about women’s choices being invalid, stupid or unfair. Come on, why not just be a big person? You’ve seen, or think you’ve seen, the attitude you’re describing elsewhere, and when you saw my posts you jumped the gun, mistakenly thinking I was an example of that attitude. Is that such a horrible thing to admit to? [/QUOTE] No, you didn’t say those exact words, it’s the ATTITUDE inherent in your posts that shows that attitude, and in your own posts or else I wouldn’t have said so. You really don’t see the things you said as insulting and invalidating to dancers? > [@](#): > > I find this whole dancing fixation bizarre. I suck at a lot of things, and few of them matter all that much. But this ritualised form of rhythmic movement is somehow so important that a lack of talent in that particular area turns me into a romantic nonprospect. People who say men are obsessed with sex have never talked to a woman about dancing. Particularly this one? Where you state that it’s a fixation, that it’s bizarre, that it’s obsessive. You really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that attitude? In particular the sentence “it’s somehow so important that it turns me into a romantic non-prospect”… You really don’t see that as “that’s unfair, why can’t they just Not Dance so that I can be a romantic prospect”? You really don’t see that the inverse of this is very simple? That is, if it’s so important to them, why not merely date women for whom dancing is NOT important? Rather than gripe about how they’re bizarre and fixated and making you a “romantic non-prospect”? You really don’t see that saying:… > [@](#): > > Someone in this very thread made a post that made it abundantly clear that they saw a clear correlation between not dancing and being perpetually single, and this isn’t even considered strange. is the same as stating that it SHOULD be considered strange? All of these things are hurtful to me, as a dancer, and very much smack of “and it’s not fair for a woman to make her own choices of who to date if they don’t include me (or my category of man)” to me. And yes, I’ve seen this attitude out in real life in addition to you illustrating it here. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351/368 "2007-10-02T10:31:12Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] You really don’t see the things you said as insulting and invalidating to dancers? [/quote] No. > [@](#): > > Particularly this one? Where you state that it’s a fixation, that it’s bizarre, that it’s obsessive. You really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that attitude? No. If there’s an activity that’s performed purely for recreation and nonparticipation in that activity is a romantic dealbreaker, then I consider that a fixation and an obsession, and I do find it bizarre. At no point do I say that it’s wrong, invalid, unfair, or any of the other things you’ve erroneously claimed that I’ve said. > [@](#): > > In particular the sentence “it’s somehow so important that it turns me into a romantic non-prospect”… You really don’t see that as “that’s unfair, why can’t they just Not Dance so that I can be a romantic prospect”? No, as that’s not what I said. > [@](#): > > You really don’t see that the inverse of this is very simple? That is, if it’s so important to them, why not merely date women for whom dancing is NOT important? I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I _am_ doing. As for the griping, what else is the Pit for? Do you really think I sit around at home complaining about this? > [@](#): > > You really don’t see that saying:… > is the same as stating that it SHOULD be considered strange? Sure. It should be considered strange. It _is_ strange. But not wrong, invalid, unfair, or any of the other things you’ve erroneously claimed that I’ve said. > [@](#): > > All of these things are hurtful to me, as a dancer, and very much smack of “and it’s not fair for a woman to make her own choices of who to date if they don’t include me (or my category of man)” to me. Then you should a) grow a skin and b) read what I’ve actually written. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-it-will-just-happen/418351.md?page=18)