# \--LOVE QUESTION-- need help in the worst way **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2001, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823 "2001-04-30T09:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/21 "2001-05-01T04:23:54Z")
What happened was she was giving you Uber chances to say “Let’s be more than friends.” Dude. Call her tomorrow, or tonight if it isn’t too late. If you don’t I will. ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/22 "2001-05-01T04:45:02Z")
I just need to add something after re-reading the entire thread, I’ve realized that I’ve made it clear to you all that I’m in love with her. Although I feel as if I haven’t done justice in saying why she is so great. One is she never gets boring, she shares the same personality traits as I do, we share the same views on all most everything. Like 99% of the same music. And OMG you should see her she has these deep green eyes that feel like your being drawn into them, she is about 5’1 (I’m 5’11) she weights 98lbs (this I know because she doesn’t anony me by saying I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat) She has the most profoundly beautiful body everything is perfect, everything. Plus she drives a hot little firebird, which she drives it like it should be driven too. She writes poetry, and is trying to become a writer, although she won’t let me read her book, the poetry is really great (mostly nature inspired stuff–but really good even I had appreciation for it) But most importantly she is absolutely the most important part of my life. no matter what happens I do beleive we still will be friends, but that doesn’t make it any easier though. Still thinking about what I should’ve done and didn’t maybe possible missed opportunities, etc. ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/23 "2001-05-01T04:47:36Z")
My best guess: She was happy and excited in the morning because she was looking forward to spending the day with you. She got pissy later on because she was disappointed and frustrated that you didn’t say anything _again_. But, she really enjoys spending time with you, so by the end of the evening she was feeling good again. You say there was no good time during the day to talk about wanting a different kind of relationship with her. You said bought her lunch, so you must have been sitting down and eating with her. Why not then? The bottom line is that if you putz around waiting for some kind of magical “right time”, you’ll still be here with the same problem a year from now. Get her alone and go for it. It’s your fault if you don’t. Not doing anything is just as much a decision as doing it. It’s up to you, and you’ve already said what you want. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/24 "2001-05-01T04:53:44Z")
Just look into her eyes,tell her how you feel and kiss her. That’s how my exfiancee won me over ad from what he told me that night we first kissed, he felt the same way about me that you feel for her. Just don’t do what he did and do a 180 personality wise once you are an established couple. Best of luck:) ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/25 "2001-05-01T05:23:03Z")
> [@](#): > > I just need to add something after re-reading the entire thread, I’ve realized that I’ve made it clear to you all that I’m in love with her. Although I feel as if I haven’t done justice in saying why she is so great. One is she never gets boring, she shares the same personality traits as I do, we share the same views on all most everything. Like 99% of the same music. And OMG you should see her she has these deep green eyes that feel like your being drawn into them, she is about 5’1 (I’m 5’11) she weights 98lbs (this I know because she doesn’t anony me by saying I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat) She has the most profoundly beautiful body everything is perfect, everything. Plus she drives a hot little firebird, which she drives it like it should be driven too. She writes poetry, and is trying to become a writer, although she won’t let me read her book, the poetry is really great (mostly nature inspired stuff–but really good even I had appreciation for it) But most importantly she is absolutely the most important part of my life. no matter what happens I do beleive we still will be friends, but that doesn’t make it any easier though. Still thinking about what I should’ve done and didn’t maybe possible missed opportunities, etc. Don’t tell us, tell HER! Invite her over, open this thread, and let her read it! Then say, “I wrote the OP…” [sup]Look all shy and doey-eyed, chicks are suckers for that…[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/26 "2001-05-01T05:26:38Z")
ASTROBOY are you smokin crack?? That won’t work will it? ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/27 "2001-05-01T05:31:56Z")
Nah astroboy is right on the money with it if you ask me. Let her read it and see how dopey you are over her. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/28 "2001-05-01T05:35:01Z")
Not smoking crack… but I am all hopped up on too much coffee!😃 Hey, it’s not a bad idea… and it might work! I think you’ve expressed how you feel about her pretty clearly here… Do it however you feel comfortable doing it… but DO IT! ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/29 "2001-05-01T05:43:48Z")
Actually she was the one that introduced me to this site, a long long time ago. I asked her if she every checked this site out anymore and she said no so, unless she just stumbles across this I probably won’t show her this at least not until after (if) we become an item. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/30 "2001-05-01T06:04:18Z")
A lapsed doper, eh? Are you _sure_ that you love this woman?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/31 "2001-05-01T06:18:42Z")
Well I’m calling it a night but before I do, I’d like to thank everyone who has posted so far, it has really helped me out, and I will update you guys as soon as something noteworthy happens, untill then please drop any helpful hints, advice, or encouragment. Yes, I said encouragement, it is alot different when you already love the girl before you ask her out. I’m sure someone will read that and think “how hard could it be?” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/32 "2001-05-01T08:15:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nicklz \* > \*\*…It is a lot different when you already love the girl before you ask her out. I’m sure someone will read that and think “how hard could it be?” \*\* “How hard could it be?” Extremely hard. Like skydiving for the first time. Sure, there’s a chance you’ll go splat. but it’s far more likely that you’ll have the most exciting time of your life. **Jump, dammit!** ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/33 "2001-05-01T10:31:15Z")
**jr8** , you are a person of extreme wisdom, charisma, and personal hygiene… > [@](#): > > “How hard could it be?” Extremely hard. Like skydiving for the first time. Sure, there’s a chance you’ll go splat. but it’s far more likely that you’ll have the most exciting time of your life. Jump, dammit! Seconded! ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/34 "2001-05-01T10:33:47Z")
I’ve been skimming over this thread I think the best approach here is to be more direct. Otherwise, your window of opportunity may close. Maybe she doesnt feel the same but you will hate yourself more if you dont try. ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/35 "2001-05-01T10:36:58Z")
BTW I know Ima guy, but I thought I could contribute something useful 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/36 "2001-05-01T10:56:54Z")
Tell her NOW. Don’t try and wait for the right moment. You will be scared, but it’ll be worth it. Even if she says she only wants to be friends (and based on the information you’ve given us, I’d say there’s only a tiny sliver of a chance of that happening) it’ll be worth it, because then at least you’ll know, and you’ll feel proud of yourself for being brave. I’ve been in a situation very much like this (with a guy who I thought was ignoring my hints - turned out he was too shy to say anything at all until I handed him an opportunity on a plate), so I know what I’m talking about. For the record, he and I have been together for nearly two years. TELL HER NOW! Go on, then… have you told her yet? have you? have you? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/37 "2001-05-01T11:11:46Z")
Lessee…we know her name is Jill, we know she’s an ex-Doper, we know she’s based in West Virginia… Let’s put it this way – you’ve got 48 hours to tell her…or **we** will. Don’t make us have to do that. [sub]Okay, so we probably wouldn’t. We’re much too nice for our own good. But tell her anyway.:)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/38 "2001-05-01T15:18:14Z")
“Actually she was the one that introduced me to this site, a long long time ago. I asked her if she every checked this site out anymore and she said no so, unless she just stumbles across this I probably won’t show her this at least not until after (if) we become an item.” Yeah, I can just imagine her feelings when she sees that you are discussing her personal life & her emotional moodiness to hundreds of complete strangers around the world. It’s been done here before many times. I wish you luck should she ever find out. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/39 "2001-05-01T15:26:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > Yeah, I can just imagine her feelings when she sees that you are discussing her personal life & her emotional moodiness to hundreds of complete strangers around the world. It’s been done here before many times. I wish you luck should she ever find out. > > \*\* Gee, handy, you always add such a positive and optimistic voice to these proceedings. :rolleyes: jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823/40 "2001-05-01T15:55:07Z")
Don’t think “emotional moodiness” (whatever the hell that is) was ever mentioned. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-question-need-help-in-the-worst-way/63823.md?page=3)