# Love songs with no specified gender **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403 "2013-07-02T00:22:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/1 "2013-07-02T00:22:31Z")
I was listening to the radio today and the Jason Derulo song The Other Side came on and it struck me that he never specifies the gender of the person he’s singing it about. That got me thinking about love/relationship/break up/hook up etc songs that don’t really even allude to the gender of the other party. I considered including Goyte’s Somebody That I Used To Know but with the duet partner being female it didn’t really fit what I’m looking for. A few others; Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris Halo - Beyonce What else is there? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/2 "2013-07-02T00:51:53Z")
[My Heart](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/You-Dun-Stomped-My-Heart-lyrics-John-Denver/4ED4E63509AE51384825688500106831) - John Denver ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/3 "2013-07-02T00:59:31Z")
Wouldn’t most songs addressed to a “you” instead of about a he or she and don’t alternately refer to the loved one as boy/girl work? Wes Carr “[You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5wMgOOfOBk)” Mazzy Star “[Fade Into You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImKY6TZEyrI)” Nicolas Johansen “Crush Me” Five Thirty “[You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEy0MJfWt1U)” This is more about breaking up but… “[Yours](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI2_41aFXxc)” by Dan Black ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/4 "2013-07-02T01:19:04Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Wouldn’t most songs addressed to a “you” instead of about a he or she and don’t alternately refer to the loved one as boy/girl work? > > Wes Carr “[You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5wMgOOfOBk)” > Mazzy Star “[Fade Into You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImKY6TZEyrI)” > Nicolas Johansen “Crush Me” > Five Thirty “[You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEy0MJfWt1U)” > > This is more about breaking up but… “[Yours](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI2_41aFXxc)” by Dan Black Yea those work. I just find those sort interesting. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/5 "2013-07-02T02:58:34Z")
Most love songs don’t specify gender. Heck, does the Beatles’ “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” ever spell out that the hand they wanna hold belongs to a girl? Does “Nights in White Satin” state categorically that the singer loves a woman? Does Chicago’s “Colorado My World”? Too many songs to mention come to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/6 "2013-07-02T04:23:06Z")
Melissa Etheridge always makes a point of keeping her songs gender neutral. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/7 "2013-07-02T04:30:15Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Melissa Etheridge always makes a point of keeping her songs gender neutral. I was going to make the same point about her. I’ve been a fan of hers, since her debut album. I didn’t know, until her second or third album, that she was a lesbian. For example, the song “Like the Way I Do”, from her first album: > [@](#): > > Tell me does she love you like the way I love you > Does she stimulate you, attract and captivate you > Tell me does she miss you, existing just to kiss you > Like the way I do > Tell me does she want you, infatuate and haunt you > Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you > Does she inject you, seduce you and affect you > Like the way I do There’s nothing in there which would suggest the gender of the “you” to whom she’s singing. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/8 "2013-07-02T11:44:33Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Heck, does the Beatles’ “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” ever spell out that the hand they wanna hold belongs to a girl? “Oh please say to me You’ll let me be your man.” ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/9 "2013-07-02T15:02:47Z")
> [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > “Oh please say to me > You’ll let me be your man.” …which doesn’t say that the person being sung to is a girl. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/10 "2013-07-02T15:16:50Z")
In a twist, there’s a great Placebo song called “Taste in Men” which I would argue also fits the bill because of singer Brian Molko’s bisexual androgyny thing he’s got going. “Come back to me and change your style again / Come back to me and change your taste in men” – could be sung as a man to a man, man to a woman, woman to a (heretofore gay) man, woman to a (heretofore straight) woman, androgynous person to androgynous person, etc etc. It’s so versatile! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/11 "2013-07-02T15:30:12Z")
Steely Dan’s “Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number” could go wither way, as Rikki is a sort of androgynous name. In the Seventies, I assumed it was about a girl. But when gay rocker Tom Robinson covered the song, I suddenly realized… oh yeah, this actually makes sense as a come-on from a gay guy to a bi-curious or insecure straight male. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/12 "2013-07-02T17:31:11Z")
Cole Porter’s \*So in Love \*([KD Lang version](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94mBgwhPhro)) Most other Cole Porter love songs, come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/13 "2013-07-02T18:44:46Z")
I used to sing in gay or mixed piano bars, standards mostly, and it often seemed hard to find gender-neutral songs in that repertoire. I didn’t want to sing love songs about a woman, so sometimes I would change the words slightly to fit better. Often it was possible to change “her” or “she” to “you”, to make it gender neutral. Of course, there are also good songs about men that I would sing. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/14 "2013-07-02T19:13:55Z")
Jim Croce’s \* I’ll Have to Say I Love You in a Song\* - going from memory, I don’t think there’s anything gender specific in the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/15 "2013-07-04T22:57:11Z")
Almost all the Indigo Girls’ love songs are gender-neutral. ‘Don’t Give that Girl a Gun’ is the only exception I can think of offhand. Other than that, they use ‘you’. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/16 "2013-07-05T00:20:06Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Wouldn’t most songs addressed to a “you” instead of about a he or she and don’t alternately refer to the loved one as boy/girl work? There are quite a few love songs that refer to the loved one by their first name, which in most cases strongly suggests a gender.\* But I agree that there seem to be plenty where the loved one is just “you”. The first list of love songs I pulled up on Google was _Rolling Stone_’s “[20 Love Songs We Never Want to Hear Again](http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/20-love-songs-we-never-want-to-hear-again-20130213)”, and it looks like most of them are actually ambiguous about the gender of the loved one. Several of the songs made this list because of the creepy or patronizing way the loved one is addressed, and love songs written to be about men don’t normally address the guy like he’s a dimwitted child. But as far as the actual lyrics go, a song like Extreme’s “[More Than Words](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R-FGchhwLw)” _could_ be about trying to manipulate a reluctant underage boy into bed. \*Ray Davies tells a story about how when the Kinks were working on their first big hit, “[You Really Got Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk3Ei_yoI4c)”, one of their managers was concerned it might not come across as a totally heterosexual love song. “Who are you singing to, your boyfriend? You’ve got to put a girl’s name in there!” Rather than going with a specific name, Davies decided he likes the sound of just “Girl, you really got me going.” ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/17 "2013-07-05T00:48:27Z")
_Unforgettable_ _Always_ And as posted earlier, most of the Beatles’ catalog. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Invisible\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/18 "2013-12-17T10:09:29Z")
I could sure use a few more suggestions in this area! I’m making a playlist myself. I was really wanting “Happy Together” but they have that " To think about the girl you love and hold her tight" line in there like so many do and you don’t realize it. There are also great songs like “I Wanna Do It With You” that slip in a self-reference like “Say that I can be your man”, which work if you need a M/M love song without mention of the sex it’s sung to. But thanks for the ones above, I know this is old, maybe needed for upcoming Valentine’s Day though! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/19 "2013-12-17T10:23:51Z")
The most famous example I can think of is “Bobbi McGee” (when sung by Kris Kristopherson) or “Bobby McGee” (When sung by Janice Joplin). There is one line which contains the word “she”, which was easily switched to “he” when Janice sang it. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-songs-with-no-specified-gender/662403/20 "2013-12-17T10:29:11Z")
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