# "Love you more" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683 "2017-08-25T21:26:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/1 "2017-08-25T21:26:12Z")
I think I can’t stand this. I wonder if it sprang from people saying “I love you” and then the other “I love you too”. The second person felt like it was perceived that they were only saying it because the other person did, and theirs was somehow just an added-on copycat idea, and not as good. So came the oneupsmanship, not just saying “I love you”, but “I love you more”. It just rubs me the wrong way; it seems competitive about something where competition makes no sense. If this is a habit of yours, what’s your take on it? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/2 "2017-08-25T21:34:39Z")
My husband and I do it because we’re silly. Altho I don’t recall that we ever did in when anyone else (apart from maybe our daughter) could hear us. I hate when people turn their relationships into performance art. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/3 "2017-08-25T21:36:17Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > My husband and I do it because we’re silly. 🙂 Well, that’s reasonable! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/4 "2017-08-25T21:39:52Z")
I don’t think the phrase is meant to be taken seriously. I’ve said it. She’s said it. But in every instance it was done when we were just in a goofy mood. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/5 "2017-08-25T21:40:44Z")
Which would be the proper response: 1. “You are absolutely right.” 2. “You don’t think I love you as much as you love me? Where have I failed you??” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/6 "2017-08-25T21:45:54Z")
I went searching for plaques that show some people mean it seriously, and found it gets worse! :eek: [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/eb/1c/fb/eb1cfbf58f5315f711498b58962c8709.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/eb/1c/fb/eb1cfbf58f5315f711498b58962c8709.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/7 "2017-08-25T23:00:55Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Which would be the proper response: > > 1. “You are absolutely right.” > 2. “You don’t think I love you as much as you love me? Where have I failed you??” I tend to just go with “Probably”. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/8 "2017-08-25T23:05:17Z")
“Bully for you!” ? /never been in a real relationship ---
**Author:** ![spjork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@spjork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spjork)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/9 "2017-08-25T23:14:28Z")
“okay, cool.” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2017, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/10 "2017-08-25T23:23:12Z")
I can do anything better than you can. No you cant, yes I can. A hit song back, in the 40s, due to the universality of the sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/11 "2017-08-26T00:22:34Z")
I dislike it because it’s cutesy. I pretty much dislike anything cutesy. If my husband responded with, “I love you more” I would likely respond, “You’re probably right.” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/12 "2017-08-26T01:25:49Z")
Don’t really have a problem with a “love you too” exchange, but I draw the line at _schmoopy_. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/13 "2017-08-26T01:41:34Z")
I said it once only to get an odd look followed by, “What do you mean?” So I said, “I mean more than yesterday.” Got out of that one and never used it again. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/14 "2017-08-26T07:22:02Z")
I used to have a girlfriend who had a theory: She believed that much of the time, people only say “I love you” in order to elicit the response, “I love you, too.” In other words, “I love you” was functionally equivalent to asking “do you love me?” A cry for validation. She hated that. So she proposed that we adopt the rule that if either of us said “I love you,” the other one was PROHIBITED from saying “I love you too.” That guaranteed that the “I love you” was sincere, and not a cry for validation. Extra points were awarded if there was a response, but it was a smart-ass response, such as “I know,” or “Of course you do!” or “Who wouldn’t?” or even “Well that’s because you’re an idiot!” It served us well for many years. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/15 "2017-08-26T10:54:01Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > My husband and I do it because we’re silly. Yes. Stuff like that only works if you are both inside the joke. In my house, with either kid, it might go: Me: love you Him/Her: love you more Me: of course, because I like your brother/sister more than you Him/Her: but that’s just to compensate for the fact that the cats prefer me now… Me: someone is asking for extra broccoli tonight Him/her: Daaaad! We typically get another line or two in before we move on. It’s like a stoopid secret handshake or something. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/16 "2017-08-26T13:38:05Z")
I tend to go in the opposite direction when I want to prank around – with somebody whom I actually do love – by saying, “Bullshit!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/17 "2017-08-26T14:08:49Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Me: love you > Him/Her: love you more > Me: of course, because I like your brother/sister more than you I missed the “with my kids” part at first glance and thought "Wow, that’s an exceptionally brave way of ‘playing’ with your spouse :eek: " 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/18 "2017-08-26T15:22:06Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I missed the “with my kids” part at first glance and thought "Wow, that’s an exceptionally brave way of ‘playing’ with your spouse :eek: " 😛 Especially if you knew her sister. Or her brother, for that matter 😉 ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/19 "2017-08-26T19:35:19Z")
To me the only acceptable response is “I Know.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683/20 "2017-08-26T21:51:18Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Extra points were awarded if there was a response, but it was a smart-ass response, such as “I know,” or “Of course you do!” or “Who wouldn’t?” or even “Well that’s because you’re an idiot!” > > It served us well for many years. I like your style. 🆒 I love you. What are you THINKING?? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/love-you-more/794683.md?page=2)