# Lovecraftian state nicknames **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 14, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374 "2011-06-14T00:20:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/1 "2011-06-14T00:20:44Z")
The State of Florida, hitherto known as “The Sunshine State,” henceforth will be officially designated “The Blighted Province of Degenerated and Mongrel Denizens Skulking in Bewildered Terror Beneath the Remorseless and Incomprehensible Light, of No Colour Hitherto Known to This Planet and Solar System, Emanating from That Amorphous Blight of Nethermost Confusion Which Blasphemes and Bubbles at the Center of All Infinity— the Boundless Daemon Sultan Azathoth, Whose Name No Lips Dare Speak Aloud, and Who Gnaws Hungrily in Inconceivable, Unlighted Chambers Beyond Time and Space Amidst the Muffled, Maddening Beating of Vile Drums and the Thin Monotonous Whine of Accursed Flutes.” And it goes on the license plates, too. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/2 "2011-06-14T00:29:35Z")
And anyone who knows anything about [Florida](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlyInFlorida) knows the new name is at least as accurate as the old one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/3 "2011-06-14T00:34:57Z")
ETA: Make it “The **Scorched** Province,” don’t wanna use “Blight” twice. Or perhaps “Sultry and Fetid.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/4 "2011-06-14T00:45:24Z")
New Hampshire’s new motto: “Live Free or Die, it is irrelevant to the mind-shattering eldritch horrors that populate the indifferent cosmos with slathering jaws.” ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/5 "2011-06-14T00:49:07Z")
Florida - The penis state, they could elect, you know who, governor. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/6 "2011-06-14T00:49:29Z")
The unholy Waste of Utah, domain of the unspeakable Cult of Mor-man. Mor of course being an Eldritch Abomination that lives deep in the Great Salt lake, impregnating sacrificial _Hu_man women with hybrid _Mor_man offspring. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/7 "2011-06-14T00:56:08Z")
Texas: The Lone Star is Right State Missouri: The Show Me Realms Unknown to the Minds of Men, whose Sere and Blasted Vistas Make Mockery of Our Crude Geometries ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/8 "2011-06-14T01:01:32Z")
The Dreamlands of Hollywood Where Nightgaunts Prowl, itself a subdivision of the Endless Wastes of California ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/9 "2011-06-14T01:05:32Z")
North Carolina - Nickname: The Old Ones North State Motto: First in futile flight from unmentionable eldritch horrors ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/10 "2011-06-14T01:25:01Z")
Minnesota. The Star of the North that sits molevalently in the night sky, waiting to signal the return of the Old Ones. Land of 10,000 fetid abysses, under which languish unspeakable horrors and mind shattering revelatons. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/11 "2011-06-14T02:20:43Z")
Missouri: We elect corpses as US Senators Missouri Department of Tourism: Missouri Loves Company (if not, it ought to be) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/12 "2011-06-14T02:39:28Z")
New Jersey: the “Vile and Poisonous Garden of Awful and Unearthly Flora, with Eldritch Fruits that Shatter the Mind with the Sight of what Lies Beyond the Pitiful Sphere of Man’s Understanding, and Glistening Carnivorous Vines with Spiky, Fetid Mouths Hidden Beneath their Leaves, Waiting to Suck the Living Marrow Out of the Next Victim to Stagger their Way” State. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/13 "2011-06-14T03:15:40Z")
Texas, the Lone Star that Shines upon Yuggoth Across the Nighted Deeps of Space. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/14 "2011-06-14T03:23:45Z")
[Here,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_nicknames) to work with, is a list of official (and other, abominably heretical and esoteric) state nicknames. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/15 "2011-06-14T03:26:54Z")
Texas: Six Flags (and seven tentacles). ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/16 "2011-06-14T03:33:16Z")
Hawaii, formerly “The Aloha State,” is now “The Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh Wgah’nagl Fhtagn State,” of course. It’s the same, really – it means both hello and goodbye. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/17 "2011-06-14T03:37:55Z")
Virginia: well, just see [this image](http://www.flickr.com/photos/sigsegv/40492213/). See, Cthulhu is a humanitarian (cf. vegetarian). He cares about children, and wishes to stop their suffering immediately. ETA: No comments about my name. I live in nuclear waste dump state, our horrors are less eldritch and more Godzilla/anal-probey. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/18 "2011-06-14T05:58:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Missouri: The Show Me Realms Unknown to the Minds of Men, whose Sere and Blasted Vistas Make Mockery of Our Crude Geometries Pfft. I’m from Missouri, and if you want me to believe in the Great Old Ones, you’ve got to Show Me. Also, bet if you skinned 'em they’d taste like catfish. Mmmm, catfish. > [@notfrommensa](#): > > Missouri: We elect corpses as US Senators We did that _once. Once._ > [@](#): > > Missouri Department of Tourism: Missouri Loves Company (if not, it ought to be) Cute. Kansas: Land of AaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:hihc:(:gurgle:) Oklahoma: The Sooner State, We Will Be Eaten First. Arkansas: The Land of Opportunity for Unnatural Wonders with Claws of B’ars and Diamond-Hard Tusks like unto Those of Razorbacks to Ascend Horribly from Hot Springs. Please visit our world-famous Hot Springs, y’all! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/19 "2011-06-14T06:45:54Z")
Louisiana: The Sunken City State It hurts because it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374/20 "2011-06-14T13:56:38Z")
Georgia: Have Y’all Seen the Yeller Sign? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lovecraftian-state-nicknames/585374.md?page=2)