# Lover boy tortoise falls down on the job. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2015, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872 "2015-04-05T13:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/1 "2015-04-05T13:45:08Z")
> [@](#): > > 'It makes me wonder how they have stayed alive for so many millions of years. Poor guy gets in just the right position and there’s an epic failure to stay erect. 😃 Then the lady leaves him struggling in the mud. Romance is not all its cracked up to be. > **[Tortoise tries to mate with his partner but ends up on his back ](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3026231/Moment-frisky-tortoise-tried-mate-female-partner-ends-losing-balance-falling-s-back.html)** > > The hilarious moment this tortoise tries and fails to mate with a female at Kiev Zoo in the Ukraine. The frisky fellow falls on his back after losing balance in the act and gets no second chance. This tortoise gets interrupted by a tv host. Slow Motion chase ensues. Imagine getting chased by an angry and horny tortoise . Priceless. 😉 > **[TV presenter slowly chased by tortoise after he interrupts it mating](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3008737/Slow-speed-pursuit-TV-presenter-chased-angry-giant-tortoise-interrupted-having-sex.html)** > > Briton Paul Rose was on Assumption Island, north of Madagascar, when he found a pair of tortoises having sex. The male tortoise then spotted Rose and started the very low speed chase (pictured). ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/2 "2015-04-05T14:05:03Z")
At least they know what other tortoises look like: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R3BYCT5oWw) ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/3 "2015-04-05T14:19:06Z")
N/m ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/4 "2015-04-05T15:23:08Z")
One day my boss came to work complaining that his two male tortoises were fighting over the female. He said they had been fighting for days and wouldn’t stop. I suggested he buy a perfume with pheromones in it to fool one male into thinking the other was a female. I was just bsing but he came back a few days later and said it worked like a charm but now the male was trying to mate with the other male. Not sure if he was BSing me in return or not. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/5 "2015-04-05T15:39:13Z")
Great. Just Great. Now the whole damn world knows how my Saturday Eharmony date went. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/6 "2015-04-05T18:44:24Z")
three hours later and no witty puns? You guys are slipping. 😃 My advice to the tortoise. Hang in there dude, you shell over cum. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/7 "2015-04-05T20:41:56Z")
Well, he really tortoise a thing or two. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/8 "2015-04-05T20:48:36Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > three hours later and no witty puns? … It’s a tortoise for gosh sake; we’ll get there in a month or two. Chill. Or bask; your choice. But do it slooooowly. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/9 "2015-04-05T20:50:06Z")
btw, what are those two nut bag things below his neck? very noticeable when he’s on his back. I know it’s not his nut sack. 😉 wrong end [The photo.](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/05/09/274CA6D500000578-0-image-a-5_1428222445814.jpg) Poor guy. Utter failure at the worst moment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lover-boy-tortoise-falls-down-on-the-job/716872/10 "2015-04-06T00:42:49Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > One day my boss came to work complaining that his two male tortoises were fighting over the female. He said they had been fighting for days and wouldn’t stop. “I haven’t seen people around here so worked up since Frank Gotch and Strangler Lewis lay on the mat for three and a half hours without moving a muscle. Wow, that was exciting!” - Mayor Shin in The Music Man"