# Low Rent Comic book Heros **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 29, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042 "2011-09-29T17:59:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/61 "2011-10-05T04:51:15Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Man, that was an awesome comic. Almost up to the coolness of the toys. I’ve pondered buying the omnibus, but haven’t been willing to pony up $299.99, yet. I still have my Baron Karza! ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/62 "2011-10-05T05:03:03Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > He said nothing about talking animals. Cause he’s not one. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/63 "2011-10-05T05:10:53Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > That was, hands down, the worst thing I ever paid money to be exposed to. I remember vividly that one of the “heroes” the magic dials conjured up was straight out of the [Mighty Men and Monster Maker](http://www.samstoybox.com/toys/MightyMenMonsters.html). Slight hijack, but it just absolutely slays me that someone would create a website to show off all the old toys he owns, none of which are for sale. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/64 "2011-10-05T13:09:02Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Slight hijack, but it just absolutely slays me that someone would create a website to show off all the old toys he owns, none of which are for sale. I think it’s great that he shares this. It’s a lot of fun to be reminded of the weird old toys that one might have owned or coveted as a child, but not seen in decades–or for the younger set, to see the weird old toys from before your own time. Just like it’s a lot of fun to reminisce about the absurd low-rent superheroes from old comic books. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/65 "2011-10-05T15:06:26Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Even for comics, that’s a [pretty fucked up storyline](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dial_H_for_Hero). Word. I sometimes regret having quit collecting comics when I did (1984) because I just missed all the great stuff that happened right after that. But then I remember crap like _Dial H_. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/66 "2011-10-05T15:15:25Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Cause he’s not one. Pardon? ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/67 "2011-10-05T17:05:20Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > How could I forget [Section 8](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_8_%28comics%29) > > A team of 8 insane would-be superheros with low-grade superpowers, or very strange fighting styles. > > Dogwelder: A man whose fighting style consists of spot-welding dogs to his enemy’s faces. > > The Defenestrator : His fighting style consists of throwing his enemies through the nearest window. He carries a window around with him for the purpose. > > Friendly Fire : He can fire heat blasts from his hands, but usually hits his own team-mates. > > and the rest. You have forgotten Bueno Excellente. He is…what is is. And I like the [Nature Boy](http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2010/03/03/whooooooooooooo/). ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/68 "2011-10-05T17:20:25Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > [the Micronauts](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micronauts_(comics)) (which was actually a fun comic book with good art and an interesting universe backstory.) > . Micronauts was a great comic! Spoilers The first series ended with a great story about a robot’s questions about emotions inspiring the crew to write poetry to leave in a memorial satellite around their world. The second series ended with all the characters pondering what meaning their lives had and all the things they’d done as they committed suicide to save the Microverse from Baron Karza’s doomsday device. Back To The OP The Mystery Men- Besides those seen in the film, there are about 20 more. A few of them have invented and use part of an Iron Man like suit. Captain Attack has a costume with a load of guns. Jumpin’ Jehosaphat can well jump using special boots. The Hummer invented a sonic weapon. He later went insane from using said weapon to make himself high. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/69 "2011-10-05T18:10:22Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > You have forgotten Bueno Excellente. He is…what is is. I didn’t forget him. I just listed my favourite three and for space reasons grouped the other five as “the rest” ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/70 "2011-10-05T18:31:06Z")
There’s also the Heroes and Villains in “The Tick” comics and TV shows. > **[Tick (character)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tick_%28comics%29)** > > The Tick is a superhero created by cartoonist Ben Edlund in 1986 as a newsletter mascot for the New England Comics chain of Boston-area comic book stores. The character is a parody of American comic book superheroes. > After its creation, the character spun off into an independent comic book series in 1988, and gained mainstream popularity through an animated TV series on Fox in 1994. Two live-action TV series, a video game and various merchandise have also been based on the character. IGN's list ... Some memorable, some not so much. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/71 "2011-10-05T18:31:24Z")
Lycra Woman And Spandex Girl I bought an issue from the 50 cent bin. I expected a pointless jiggle book. In fact, the art is pretty good and the writing is very funny. The host of a local exercise show puts on a tight costume and fights crime using her knowledge of aerobics. The series has a whacky oddly wholesome charm. After it turned out that the word Lycra was a protected trademark, the heroine’s name was changed to Flex Woman. Hero Hotline In a world of Superman, Batman and the Justice League, what happens to those heroes whose powers aren’t quite good enough to fight crime? The Hero Hotline has just the hero for your problem! Private Eye’s special glasses can see through almost anything. Microwavabelle can fly and heat up substances. Brother Bicep is really strong and insists on changing his superhero name every week. Dish Man- After years of eating off of radioactive Fiesta Ware, he gained the power to make dirty dishes disappear and the reappear cleaned and stacked in the cupboard. More Mystery Men The Mystic Hand- can detach his hands, which can fly. He loses control if they wander out of his sight. Silverfish- became a superhero after being hit on the head. Crimson Smasher- Looks like a class A superhero. Has class A powers. Would be on a team like the Justice League except that he has an odd problem. He vanishes suddenly to somewhere else (possibly another dimension) without warning for random periods of time. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/72 "2011-10-05T18:46:02Z")
Beak- attached to the X men and eXiles. He has chicken-esque appearance and no powers or special skills. Twilight Avenger- A fun read, he fought crime in a neat costume blinding criminals with a magnesium light and using a gas gun. The Great Lakes Avengers- ``` Doorman- can telpeort any body from in front of him to in back of him Flat Man- He can bend a lot and go through tiny spaces Big Bertha- This supermodel can change to a morbidly obese form with super strength and toughness. To change back, she has to vomit up all the excess mass. Squirrel Girl- cheeck pouches, squirrel teeth, climbing claws, tail, agility, ability to speak to squirrels I Man- Cannot be killed. Heals any wound. Has no fighting ability or other special skills. ``` The Street Freaks- Mutated from fruits and vegetables, they rode in a flying car and fought crime. Their debut issue was so truly awful it was hilarious. Fat Ninja- He was fat and hungry and moved like a lethal shadow. The series was written almost entirely in deadpan seriousness. It was epic. Shalom Man- Created, written and drawn by a retired barber. When somebody in distress shouts “Oy vey!” the shin rock statue transforms into the Kosher Crusader. Some issues are really funny shlocky fun. Some are preachy crap. The creator has called Jewish critics of his work “self-hating Jews” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/73 "2011-10-05T19:45:19Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Squirrel Girl- cheeck pouches, squirrel teeth, climbing claws, tail, agility, ability to speak to squirrels Leading to [a surprisingly good record](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_girl#Victories) when it comes to taking down some of the heavyweights of the Marvel Universe. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/74 "2011-10-05T22:01:25Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Leading to [a surprisingly good record](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_girl#Victories) when it comes to taking down some of the heavyweights of the Marvel Universe. And she has a bag of treats for little friends. She calls it her “nutsack.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/75 "2011-10-05T22:38:51Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I’m going to dig deep to way back in the golden age and bring out [Madame Fatal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madame_Fatal), a dude whose “power” was dressing up as an old lady and punching people. “First Appearance: Crack Comics #1” You don’t say. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/76 "2011-10-05T22:46:06Z")
Question: was “Mandrake The Magician” ever in comic book format? It was a fairly obscure strip-haven’t seen it in years. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/77 "2011-10-05T22:53:18Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Question: was “Mandrake The Magician” ever in comic book format? > It was a fairly obscure strip-haven’t seen it in years. There was a short-lived Mandrake comic in the '60s, published by King, the same house that was publishing the Phantom comic at the time (both characters created by Lee Falk; both are still running as strips to this day). ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/78 "2011-10-05T23:07:42Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Question: was “Mandrake The Magician” ever in comic book format? > It was a fairly obscure strip-haven’t seen it in years. Mandrake also saw comic book action as a member of the Defenders Of The Earth back in the eighties. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/79 "2011-10-06T01:11:47Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Question: was “Mandrake The Magician” ever in comic book format? > It was a fairly obscure strip-haven’t seen it in years. [It is still in syndication.](http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mandrake/2011-10-05/) ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042/80 "2011-10-06T01:15:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > [It is still in syndication.](http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mandrake/2011-10-05/) Aw, that’s no fun. He didn’t even gesture hypnotically! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/low-rent-comic-book-heros/598042.md?page=5)