# Lower share of female regulars. What to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [June 7, 2018, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612 "2018-06-07T16:44:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/261 "2018-06-10T19:12:03Z")
There were some very nice compliments in here! For the record, I am not interested in being a mod. There’s a reason that despite never haven taken a hiatus of any length, I only have 10K posts in 20 years: I like to post when I have something to say, but I greatly enjoy the luxury of deciding a particular fight is not worth having, or that everything worth saying has been said. Plus, I don’t have time. But it’s very flattering to have my name brought up. For what it’s worth, I don’t have any problem with men posting in “female-issue” threads, as long as it’s on topic: I mean, if someone posted “I’m having a baby soon, what do I need to know about childbirth” and someone responded with “My wife said that the hardest part was the rude nurse, and in retrospect I wish we’d put our foot down and insisted on a new nurse instead of worrying about being polite”. That’s a perfectly useful response, and I’d hate for someone not to make it just because they are male. What is NOT okay are posts like “Man, I don’t have any advice, but the thought of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of ANY body part squicks me out! Better you than me!” or “I don’t know about childbirth, but when I had my coronary, I was surprised by how . . . .” There are men who seemingly can’t stand to have a thread that’s not relevant to them, so they have to metaphorically jump up and down and say 'Hey! Boys here! Listen to MEEEEEEEEEE". I think that shit should be modded. No warnings, but the person told to knock it off. I guess for me the stuff I hate seeing is anything that a mediocre stand-up comedian would use as a premise for a dumb joke. It’s the whole 'Hey, guys. Women . . . .amIrite?" paradigm. It’s a simplistic, insulting bundle of gender stereotypes, and one that is presented as authoritative: this weird bundle of folk wisdom that is outdated at best and poisonously misogynistic at worst, but which you can’t object to without being told it’s just a joke, or a way of speaking, and anyway, deep down you know it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/262 "2018-06-10T19:12:46Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Do you have a cite for this? In my experience on the board, men who have come forward with stories of abuse (I can think of a few posters who can come forward if they wish, as well as public figures like Terry Crews) have been generally received with great compassion by Dopers. I do not have a peer-reviewed scientific study describing SDMB. Based on my own experience of sporadic posting on SDMB for a few years, I have been attacked for mentioning facts on abuse and discrimination of men. But then anyone’s experience on a small board is anecdotal. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/263 "2018-06-10T19:26:10Z")
Abusing and discriminating against men? Not the time or place to mention that CC. After the last 2 weeks, I wonder how many women are now regular drinkers? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/264 "2018-06-10T19:31:44Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > The idea is not that each thread need to appeal to each potential participant equally. The idea is that the overall tone of the board should not be inhospitable to large swaths of the membership. > > Homogeneity has never been the goal. Would it make sense then, to quarantine potentially bawdy or prurient content to a sub forum? The Pit acts in a way as an anger and frustration quarantine what about a libido quarantine where potentially off putting but not obviously offensive threads such as these fictional character polls could go? Try to keep it from being x-rated and all but PG rated threads about Ginger and Maryann or Wolverine vs Thor could go there. Or would even that level of partitioning still give the appearance of inhospitality? It just seems to me that we are seeing _quickly_ moving goal posts of let’s warn people of surprise rape and brutality to zero tolerance of the existence of threads that appeal to different subsets. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/265 "2018-06-10T19:40:08Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > … > For what it’s worth, I don’t have any problem with men posting in “female-issue” threads, as long as it’s on topic: I mean, if someone posted “I’m having a baby soon, what do I need to know about childbirth” and someone responded with “My wife said that the hardest part was the rude nurse, and in retrospect I wish we’d put our foot down and insisted on a new nurse instead of worrying about being polite”. That’s a perfectly useful response, and I’d hate for someone not to make it just because they are male. What is NOT okay are posts like “Man, I don’t have any advice, but the thought of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of ANY body part squicks me out! Better you than me!” or “I don’t know about childbirth, but when I had my coronary, I was surprised by how . . . .” There are men who seemingly can’t stand to have a thread that’s not relevant to them, so they have to metaphorically jump up and down and say 'Hey! Boys here! Listen to MEEEEEEEEEE". I think that shit should be modded. No warnings, but the person told to knock it off. > … I think i disagree with this part of your post. I can think of lots of things starting, “when i had my coronary…” that could be relevant. “… My phone was stolen from the hospital. You might want to plan to get a cheap burner phone to bring with you.” “…I was weak when I got home, and it was helpful to…” My ideal is not that every thread appeals to every person, but that no one feels unwelcome or excluded from a thread. I think that would help women more often than men, but i think it’s generally a win. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/266 "2018-06-10T19:44:37Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Would it make sense then, to quarantine potentially bawdy or prurient content to a sub forum? The Pit acts in a way as an anger and frustration quarantine what about a libido quarantine where potentially off putting but not obviously offensive threads such as these fictional character polls could go? Try to keep it from being x-rated and all but PG rated threads about Ginger and Maryann or Wolverine vs Thor could go there. > > Or would even that level of partitioning still give the appearance of inhospitality? It just seems to me that we are seeing _quickly_ moving goal posts of let’s warn people of surprise rape and brutality to zero tolerance of the existence of threads that appeal to different subsets. It seems ridiculous to me to have a forum where people can be obnoxious, but not too obnoxious. I, for one, don’t have a problem with “Who is more attractive? Ginger or Mary Ann?” : the problem is with “pick one, Ginger or Mary Ann?” which phrases the issue as if the two girls were trussed up in front of you, or as if a genie is going to cast a spell on which ever you chose. I don’t mind talking about women being attractive. I can join in that conversation. I do mind women being characterized as tokens to be “picked”. Is it really so important to be able to phrase things that way that you need a whole forum to do it? 90% of the time, it’s not the topic that is the problem. It’s the way it is framed: thoughtlessly objectifying and obviously intended for a mostly male audience. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/267 "2018-06-10T19:46:35Z")
> [@TheMysteryWriter](#): > > … I still mourn the loss of Eve and Una, who left cos of the transphobia they couldn’t deal with anymore, I believe. I feel like transphobia and misogyny are prolly pretty closely linked. So if we make this board more welcome for all women that would be terrific! Eve and Una left?! That makes me very sad. They were among my favorite posters. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/268 "2018-06-10T19:47:45Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Would it make sense then, to quarantine potentially bawdy or prurient content to a sub forum? The Pit… The Pit’s initial purpose was to act like a safety valve so that people could attack the post and not the poster in other forums. A bawdy forum has no similar ignorance-fighting purpose. We don’t allow images here either. (Yes, yes, I trust you can construct a rationalization for the bawdy forum. I’ll let others handle that discussion. Maybe it belongs in another thread?) ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/269 "2018-06-10T19:49:47Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I think i disagree with this part of your post. I can think of lots of things starting, “when i had my coronary…” that could be relevant. “… My phone was stolen from the hospital. You might want to plan to get a cheap burner phone to bring with you.” “…I was weak when I got home, and it was helpful to…” > > My ideal is not that every thread appeals to every person, but that no one feels unwelcome or excluded from a thread. I think that would help women more often than men, but i think it’s generally a win. There are times when it could be relevant, but there’s other times when it comes across as an attempt to redirect the conversation into something where male experience is relevant. For example, all the FGM threads that turn into threads about male circumcision so completely that the discussion of the former gets entirely drowned out. Sure, there are places in the discussion of the one that the other is a useful frame of reference, but too often it replaces the original topic. If a woman comes in asking for advice about childbirth specifically, the thread shouldn’t devolve into men discussing their hospitalization experiences to the point that the childbirth-specific stuff gets pushed aside. And any thread can go off the rails, but it sometimes feels like ones about women’s issues get derailed faster and more thoroughly. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/270 "2018-06-10T19:51:09Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > It seems ridiculous to me to have a forum where people can be obnoxious, but not too obnoxious. I, for one, don’t have a problem with “Who is more attractive? Ginger or Mary Ann?” : the problem is with “pick one, Ginger or Mary Ann?” which phrases the issue as if the two girls were trussed up in front of you, or as if a genie is going to cast a spell on which ever you chose. I don’t mind talking about women being attractive. I can join in that conversation. I do mind women being characterized as tokens to be “picked”. Is it really so important to be able to phrase things that way that you need a whole forum to do it? > > 90% of the time, it’s not the topic that is the problem. It’s the way it is framed: thoughtlessly objectifying and obviously intended for a mostly male audience. I see what you are saying. And until pointed out, I wouldn’t have caught it. Anyways, I’m just brainstorming. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/271 "2018-06-10T20:00:10Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Read a few threads from around 2000 and I doubt you will find this to be true. Yes, it was quite a bit worse back then. If any female poster mentioned anything about her bra size or anything, there were always several replies of “pics or it didnt happen” or “cite!” and etc. I havent seen that sort of stuff anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/272 "2018-06-10T20:02:45Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Many users of this forum consider compassion for male victims of abuse and discrimination to be a moral crime. I’ve long admitted to being a male victim of domestic violence and I’ve never heard this idea. Do you have any cites for this? From within the last several years? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/273 "2018-06-10T20:03:05Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Did you read the OP, with its clear evidence for just that fact? How can you still be JAQing about that, pages later? The evidence is \*by no means \*“clear”. Those polls are pretty worthless. Mind you, still- the SDMB can & should improve. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/274 "2018-06-10T20:04:28Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’m late to this discussion, but I’m a woman who posts here and I’d like to add some thoughts anyway. Sorry it’s long. Anyway here goes: > > 1 > > Thanks for reading. Your post makes a lot of sense, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/275 "2018-06-10T20:27:56Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Yes. To those who make these selections - FWIW just as the moderation staff benefits from having someone who is more conservative as part of its mix … that which makes her think of herself as potentially “too controversial” could be a _benefit_ to have within the mod loop. It certainly should not be disqualifying. Not that my opinion matters on these things. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/276 "2018-06-10T20:29:30Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > To those who make these selections - FWIW just as the moderation staff benefits from having someone who is more conservative as part of its mix … that which makes her think of herself as potentially “too controversial” could be a _benefit_ to have within the mod loop. It certainly should not be disqualifying. > > Not that my opinion matters on these things. I agree. It’s helpful to have a diversity of experience and perspective in the mod team. ---
**Author:** ![Anxious\_Squirrel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anxious_squirrel/32/1083_2.png) [@Anxious\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anxious_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/277 "2018-06-10T20:29:49Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Eve and Una left?! That makes me very sad. They were among my favorite posters. Una’s signature from her profile page: Signature I’m with Eve - the kid-glove handling of anti-transgender trolls on here drove us away. [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?u=4799](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) Una’s last post was on Feb 2. ;( Eve’s last past was in Jan or 2014. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/278 "2018-06-10T20:41:37Z")
Very sad to read that. I’m not Trans, but the open acceptance of Trans hate on a political board that otherwise banned hate speech was the last straw in my leaving that place. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/279 "2018-06-10T20:42:34Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I agree. It’s helpful to have a diversity of experience and perspective in the mod team. Which is why, if this is going to be a side discussion, I have to reiterate my opinion that if diversity on the mod staff is a desired feature than monstro’s name ought to be in the top tier of potential candidates. Plus monstro has a good temperament which cannot be discounted and imo is more important than diversity. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2018, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612/280 "2018-06-10T20:49:48Z")
According to past threads IIRC, an even temperament is a requirement for mods. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lower-share-of-female-regulars-what-to-do/815612.md?page=15)