# Lumpy Bumpy Dumpity Doo (possible TMI, lump on cooch and other crises) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489 "2012-07-17T05:09:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/21 "2012-07-18T17:22:48Z")
> [@awldune](#): > > Wife has had several of these cysts on her labia. Feels about like a garden pea and comes to a head within a few days of when they are really noticable. > > Prick with a pin to get things started and then squeeze out an ASTOUNDING amount of crud. It has an odor that closely resembles belly button lint. You will want some tissues or something to wipe up the crud. > > A small amount of blood follows the crud, and then it heals up very quickly. > > YMMV of course. Oh good Christ, I certainly hope so. :(. Seriously need that pukey smiley. ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/22 "2012-07-18T17:41:28Z")
Thanks everyone for the well wishes, reassurances, wise cracks, graphic and revolting descriptions, etcetera. No change in the coochie lump today. I am pleased to report that, based on location, it’s probably not Bartholins, thank heavens. Keepin it clean, yo. El Hermanito is doing very well! Saw him when I finally arrived last night about 4 hours after his heart surgery, he looked great considering his situation. I’m so glad I can give my dad good news about this. Our hearts are still so tender with the loss of middle brother last year at this very time, the relief is unbelievable. Now that I think about it, I would gladly suffer a Bartholins Abscess every month to ensure I’d never have to give my dad that kind of news again. So now I’m going to stroll a few hilly blocks to the recovery unit and spend some time with the lad. And keep my scary germy self far, far away from him. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/23 "2012-07-18T18:10:41Z")
> [@orderfire](#): > > Oh good Christ, I certainly hope so. :(. Seriously need that pukey smiley. They are really quite benign and not all that painful. Just gross. Maybe your thing will go away on its own. A heat pack will help that process if you can stand it in this weather. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/24 "2012-07-18T19:23:51Z")
I am glad I have a penis. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/25 "2012-07-18T23:06:13Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I am glad I have a penis. Loach, that won’t save you. I once got a horrible, painful, inflamed mega-zit cum abscess at the base of my penis, right where the scrotal sac began. After trying to deal with it by applying warm compresses, in the end, crazed by the pain and the general uncomfortableness of the thing I lanced it myself. It was beyond disgusting _shudder!_ Fortunately it seems I dealt with it properly and didn’t come back. Having something like that grow on your junk is _not_ fun. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489/26 "2012-07-19T00:10:18Z")
**orderfire** , I’m glad your brother and the cat are ok! I’ll second or third or whatever the suggestion that your mystery lump is an ingrown hair. I get them all the damn time down there. I had one really bad one that actually splattered the opposite wall in the bathroom with nasty goo when I couldn’t stand it any more and lanced it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lumpy-bumpy-dumpity-doo-possible-tmi-lump-on-cooch-and-other-crises/628489.md?page=1)