# Lupe Vélez staff report **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [December 8, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240 "2007-12-08T01:14:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/1 "2007-12-08T01:14:51Z")
[Did Lupe Vélez really drown in the toilet?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mlupevelez.html) Nicely done **Bricker**. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/2 "2007-12-08T18:49:02Z")
> [@](#): > > But common sense suggests that if a person with her head in a toilet were to lose consciousness, the weight of her body slumping to the floor would most likely pull her head out of the bowl, not trap it inside. I’m not at all sure about this. I had a bad case of food poisoning two days ago. It lasted twelve hours. During this interval I was able to practise various vomiting positions _ad nauseum_ until I arrived at the optimum solution for my own personal needs. The surface of our toilet bowl is 15" from the floor. When using same for vomiting purposes I assume a position kneeling in front of the bowl with my head directly above it and my chest resting on the rim. I place my hands on the floor either side of the bowl about 15" ahead of my knees. If losing consciousness, I believe this configuration places my centre of gravity sufficiently forward to tip my face into the bowl and possibly suffer an ignominious death by drowning. Dedicated as I am to the ideals of this message board I cannot in all conscience promise to advance my theory to its logical conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/3 "2007-12-08T18:55:48Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] I was able to practise various vomiting positions _ad nauseum_ [/QUOTE] And most likely beyond. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/4 "2007-12-08T19:39:26Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] Dedicated as I am to the ideals of this message board I cannot in all conscience promise to advance my theory to its logical conclusion. [/QUOTE] Slacker. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/5 "2007-12-08T20:14:56Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] Dedicated as I am to the ideals of this message board I cannot in all conscience promise to advance my theory to its logical conclusion. [/QUOTE] And thus is the forward march of science halted by selfish and anti-social concerns. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/6 "2007-12-10T18:35:28Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor] Did Lupe Vélez really drown in the toilet? Nicely done **Bricker**. [/QUOTE] Wait . . . are you saying that **Bricker** drowned Lupe Vélez? RR ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/7 "2007-12-10T20:28:49Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] And thus is the forward march of science halted by selfish and anti-social concerns. [/QUOTE] Thanks for bringing that up. I have been moved to conduct some further tests into toilet bowl management as it applies to the technicolour yawn. Please note that my experience of people dying in toilets is practically zero whereas you, **Bricker** , are clearly privy to years of research undertaken by experts for the public convenience. I remain convinced that a kneeling position (see post#2) will precipitate the user’s head into the bowl if losing consciousness but I had not considered inexperienced vomiters who may instead adopt a squatting stance in front of it. The squat is a totally different kettle of fish when it comes to stability because the body is supported solely by the balls of the feet. As you know, the body oscillates back and forth with the spasms induced by the vomiting cycle so loss of consciousness is more than likely to throw the subject off balance and backwards onto the floor. Let us put aside our lavatorial differences and work as a team on this one. While I attempt to discover whether Lupe Vélez was a kneeler or a squatter, you can confirm or deny my theories by personal and practical assessment of their validity. I look forward to your early reply. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/8 "2007-12-11T03:48:21Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] you, **Bricker** , are clearly privy [/QUOTE] I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/9 "2007-12-11T15:58:58Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] And thus is the forward march of science halted by selfish and anti-social concerns. [/QUOTE] The next time I vomit into my toilet, you will be in my thoughts. (Hallmark?) Good job, dude! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/10 "2007-12-11T16:01:21Z")
I was a bit discommoded by the report. **Bricker** doesn’t say how she actually did commit suicide. Was Anger right about the barbituates, at least? What did the coroner’s report say? Did she use a gun, a knife, a potato? Did it involve a bottle of Jack Daniels and a willing chimpanzee in an effort to get back at her former husband? Did she wrap a towel around her head and stick one end in the blender for a home version of the Isadora Duncan? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lupe-velez-staff-report/429240/11 "2007-12-12T02:11:50Z")
Well done, **Bricker** , as always. I’ve added a link to your article in the Wiki article on the ill-fated actress.