# Lynn Bodoni **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 19, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993 "2000-05-19T18:38:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/41 "2000-06-02T06:26:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I’m bored and reading all the boards and what do I see? > > \*\*] > > > [@](#): > > > > Stay away from Grace! She’s mine! (Unless Shayna marries me, that is.) \*\* > > So basically you’re saying I’m second choice? Someone to get you over the hump until Shayna agrees to run away with you? > > Oh well, I still have aha. That is, unless Lynn officially greets him. Then my 10 minutes of signature line fame will be over. :😭: > > Lynn, don’t do it. Don’t greet aha. Think of my children (when I have them). Imagine their pride when they can point to aha’s sig line and say “that’s my mama.” What’s it gonna take? Daily packages of chocolate. I’m in Dallas so it is possible. Crawling on my hands and knees over broken glass? Cleaning your bathrooms? On second thought, greet the bugger. I draw the line at toilets. > \*\* I love you both. But she changed her sig. You didn’t. Change your sig, and I’ll be a bigamist. Oh, and the menage offer is still open. I confess I’m surprised, too, Grace. I expected another post from Shayna before you, so I needed to address her first. (You’re what? 2 hours ahead of us? And you’re the one who called yourself an infrequent poster.) Ya know, I think you’re stalking me under false pretenses. I’d be upset, but I’ve fallen so completely for you already. You’ve wiped your feet on the doormat of my heart. I hope you’re happy ☹ Change your sig. We nerds are grateful for the love of a goddess such as you. ::shamelessly trying to upstage aha’s sucking up IN HIS OWN THREAD:: Note that if there’s been any new goings on in our various flirtings since noon my time, I’m still a bit unaware. I haven’t gone into MPSIMS and IMHO yet. (Honestly, I’ve been spending too much time there; I’m trying to at least establish a presence in GQ and GD, and a bit in the Pit, too) ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/42 "2000-06-02T06:36:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > How do you stand on the issue of cat litter boxes? > \*\* Are you asking me to clean your little box? Being a cat owner myself, I could do that. No. No. No. I must face the inevitable. Aha will eventually change his sig line so it may as well be you who cause the change. I mean, you’re Lynn Bodoni after all. A woman of grace, intelligence, and obviously a big pair of cajones since you’re able to handle the pit. I can think of no other person who I’d rather bump me from the spot. _psst, aha. How am I doing at this sucking up thing?_ It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring up cajones. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/43 "2000-06-02T06:44:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Ummmm, well, the truth is, my mother had to break me of my habit of soliciting chocolate from complete strangers when I was young > \*\* Lynn, True story. I used to be a chocolate freak–especially Hershey’s Dark Chocolate, but really, all kinds. My mother would hide the candy from my brother and me, whenever she’d leave the house. HOWEVER, she would not hide the unsweetened chocolate (used for baking, etc). Or the sugar. I found out that if I put a spoonful or two in my mouth and took a bite out of the unsweetened chocolate, the result was more than sufficient for a choco-addict. Sick, huh? And it figures that now that I can have chocolate any time I want, I don’t want it as much. Life sucks that way. > [@](#): > > \*\* > How do you stand on the issue of cat litter boxes? > \*\* I know this question wasn’t asked of me, but that’s never stopped me from responding before. 😃 I don’t stand on them. I don’t squat over them, either. Unlike the trolls, I’M toilet trained. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/44 "2000-06-02T06:49:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I confess I’m surprised, too, Grace. I expected another post from Shayna before you, so I needed to address her first. (You’re what? 2 hours ahead of us? And you’re the one who called yourself an infrequent poster.) > \*\* I am an infrequent poster. Especially in the pit. Or at least I was until this week. Tonight I’m reading all the boards because I know I’ll be up all night. I fell asleep when I got home from work and didn’t wake up until almost 8:30 p.m. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/45 "2000-06-02T06:55:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > How do you stand on the issue of cat litter boxes? > > \*\* > > Are you asking me to clean your little box? Being a cat owner myself, I could do that. > > No. No. No. I must face the inevitable. Aha will eventually change his sig line so it may as well be you who cause the change. I mean, you’re Lynn Bodoni after all. A woman of grace, intelligence, and obviously a big pair of cajones since you’re able to handle the pit. I can think of no other person who I’d rather bump me from the spot. > > _psst, aha. How am I doing at this sucking up thing?_ It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring up cajones. > > \*\* Oh, this is great, Grace. WE both answer Lynn’s question, not aha. \*\* > [@](#): > > DRY: “We nerds are grateful for the love of a goddess such as you.” > \*\* Ahem. I still love you, but you’re losing the battle to Shayna. I was hoping a for something a little more…nuturing…to my fragile male ego and tender (oh, so tender) and sensitive self-esteem. Compare: \*\* > [@](#): > > DRY: “We nerds are grateful for the love of a goddess such as you.” > \*\* with \*\* > [@](#): > > “I would like to thank DRY for voting for me as Prom Queen of IMHO. He is my very favorite poster and I’m strongly thinking of marrying him and dropping my Jewish requirement, because he’s such a fine and upstanding human being.” – An original DRY sig (with my sincerest thanks). > \*\* I mean, it’s kind of like comparing a Shakespearean love sonnet with a dirty limerick, isn’t it? You are a woman of exceptional…GRACE…beauty…intelligence…wit. I know you can do better than that, oh goddess of Guiding Light (speaking of which…can’t you find some romantic dialogue to melt my masculine heart with??) ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/46 "2000-06-02T07:04:59Z")
IIRC, your EXACT words are what are printed in Shayna’s sig line. So my “dirty limerick” is through no fault of my own. I guess I have failed to inspire you to write any love sonnets on my behalf. So basically you’re gonna have to give me some better material if you want me to put it in the sig line. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/47 "2000-06-02T07:06:49Z")
As mistress of the Pit, I think you know what the appropriate thing to do is… Welcome GRACE and I to the SDMB, but NOT AHA! 🙂 🙂 He’s had the welcome of so many other mods and admins, we have not. He hasn’t answered your question about the cat litter boxes. WE HAVE. (I’m not buying that "he’s asleep/offline CRAP. If he truly appreciated you, he’d be defending his turf.) We two, lonely souls, would be so grateful. We’d elope\* and name our first born after you. You’d be invited to our humble abode, and you could eat your weight…nay, the weight of all your earthly posessions, in the finest chocolate available (no crappy easter bunnies). Do the right thing, oh mistress…nay…GODDESS…of the Pit! \*assuming Grace is able to put me in the proper mood after that horribly hurtful sig ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/48 "2000-06-02T07:25:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > IIRC, your EXACT words are what are printed in Shayna’s sig line. So my “dirty limerick” is through no fault of my own. I guess I have failed to inspire you to write any love sonnets on my behalf. > > So basically you’re gonna have to give me some better material if you want me to put it in the sig line. 😛 > \*\* Dearest, Grace, my humble apologies: I confess it was my folly that caused me to merit such an unflattering sig line. I beg forgiveness: “O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do!” –Much Ado about Nothing, Act 4, Scene i I shall do my best to woo you once again: “My tongue could never learn sweet smoothing word; But now thy beauty is proposed my fee, My proud heart sues, and prompts my tongue to speak.” ::seeing Grace’s skepticism:: “Teach not thy lips such scorn, for they were made For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.” –Richard III, Act 1, scene ii And I humbly request the following for your sig line “DRY…A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a black beard will turn white; a curled pate will grow bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax hollow: but a good heart…is the sun and the moon; or, rather, the sun, and not the moon; for it shines bright and never changes, but keeps his course truly. If thou would have such a one, take me” How’s that, my sweet? 😃 (Attribution of the above, is King Henry V, Act 5, Scene ii) ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/49 "2000-06-02T07:34:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > How’s that, my sweet? 😃 > \*\* I don’t know. I’ll think about it. ☹ (You do realize this is going to take a lot of sucking up in order to make up right?) LOL ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/50 "2000-06-02T07:44:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > How’s that, my sweet? 😃 > > \*\* > > I don’t know. I’ll think about it. ☹ > > (You do realize this is going to take a lot of sucking up in order to make up right?) LOL > \*\* DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COME UP WITH THAT?? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD–I show you my open heart and you play hard to get?? ☹ ☹ Shayna’s starting to look better and better :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/51 "2000-06-02T08:11:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I show you my open heart and you play hard to get?? ☹ ☹ > \*\* Damn you DRY!! You’ve found my kryptonite. You made me feel guilty. I figured there was going to be some sucking up going on but I didn’t know I was going to be the one doing it. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/52 "2000-06-02T08:11:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > “DRY…A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a black beard will turn white; a curled pate will grow bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax hollow: but a good heart…is the sun and the moon; or, rather, the sun, and not the moon; for it shines bright and never changes, but keeps his course truly. If thou would have such a one, take me” (shamelessly posted to suck up to DRY and get back in his good grace) > \*\* Good “GRACE”, huh?? Are you trying to be funny? Fortunately, you’re ADORABLE when you’re funny (where’s a “kissy face icon” when you need it?) C’mere, Snookums! “Ay me! for aught that I could ever read, Could ever hear by tale or history, The course of true love never did run smooth;” –A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, Act 1, scene i “Now welcome more, and ten times more beloved, Than if thou never hadst deserved our hate.” –King Henry VI, part 3, Act 5, scene i The rest of you…would you mind going away? Grace and I would like a lil’ privacy… 😉 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/53 "2000-06-02T08:18:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Damn you DRY!! You’ve found my kryptonite. You made me feel guilty. I figured there was going to be some sucking up going on but I didn’t know I was going to be the one doing it. > \*\* We’ll both do it. Sucking up together is fun and steamy! 😃 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/54 "2000-06-02T08:24:38Z")
We posted at the EXACT same time. How often does that happen? Okay, I think we’ve hijacked this topic long enough. I don’t think he’d appreciate it all that much. And just so this gets back on topic… Lynn Bodoni, please post a welcome to my good friend aha. He’s in the running for Prom Queen of IMHO (we believe in equal opportunity) and I think an endorsement from you might send him to the top of the race. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/55 "2000-06-02T08:39:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Okay, I think we’ve hijacked this topic long enough. I don’t think he’d appreciate it all that much. > \*\* Grace!! Don’t you GET it?? That’s WHY I picked this thread to flirt! To hijack it! (Also to show aha that there are at least two suckups he’d BETTER keep an eye out for!) 😉 And to put one over on your old friend Shayna. She can flirt in Great Debates, huh?? Well, you and I can make goo-goo eyes IN THE PIT!! How do ya like them apples??? HAHAHA 😃 > [@](#): > > \*\* > Lynn Bodoni, please post a welcome to my good friend aha. He’s in the running for Prom Queen of IMHO (we believe in equal opportunity) and I think an endorsement from you might send him to the top of the race. > \*\* I will yield to my better (and boy, is she _GOOD_) half on this one, and also beseech Lynn to welcome Aha (but also US! Dammit, us, too!! Us first!!!) Uh, Where was I? Lynn, please welcome aha. However, I must nullify my dear sweet Grace’s importunings to endorse him as Prom Queen of IMHO, as I have taken up the cause of the illustrious Shayna. I bade Shayna to bestow, publicly, her affection on me, and she has done so. And I am an honest man: “Who never promiseth but he means to pay.” –King Henry IV, Part 1, Act 5, scene iv So, Lynn, while I beseech you to welcome aha, I urge you to endorse SHAYNA as the rightful prom queen of IMHO (you can always make Aha Lord Bastard of the Pit) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/56 "2000-06-02T08:54:01Z")
DRY is right. I retract my petition for Lynn to endorse aha as prom queen. If anyone should receive an official Lynn Bodoni endorsement, it should be Shayna. Aside from the fact that she’s my very good friend, I don’t think the SDMD needs another divided household. It may work for James Carville and Mary Matalin but I’m not willing to take any chances. However, I still resectfully request that Lynn\*welcome \*aha. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/57 "2000-06-02T09:01:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > DRY is right. I retract my petition for Lynn to endorse aha as prom queen. If anyone should receive an official Lynn Bodoni endorsement, it should be Shayna. Aside from the fact that she’s my very good friend, I don’t think the SDMD needs another divided household. It may work for James Carville and Mary Matalin but I’m not willing to take any chances. > > However, I still resectfully request that Lynn\*welcome \*aha. > \*\* Oh, Grace! Oh, dear, sweet, Grace! 🙂 I adore you more with each passing second. Every breath you take, every action you, in your infinite wisdom, make, multiplies my eternal longings for you. How very noble of you to retract your petition and support mine! Oh! 🙂 Come here! “One kiss shall stop our mouths, and dumbly part; Thus give I mine, and thus take I thy heart.” 😃 King Richard II, Act 5, scene i Uh…would the rest of you please go away? Again? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/58 "2000-06-02T09:12:56Z")
LMAO! You are too much. Okay as much as I’d love to stay here and flirt, I really have to go to bed. It’s after 4:00 a.m. and I probably should get a couple of hours sleep before work. Goodnight! ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/59 "2000-06-02T09:19:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > LMAO! You are too much. Okay as much as I’d love to stay here and flirt, I really have to go to bed. It’s after 4:00 a.m. and I probably should get a couple of hours sleep before work. Goodnight! > \*\* “Good night sweet prince(ss): And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!” –Hamlet, Act 5, scene ii ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993/60 "2000-06-02T13:43:27Z")
get a room! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lynn-bodoni/19993.md?page=4)