# lyrics that don't sound right/make you cringe **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831 "2003-05-17T03:48:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/61 "2003-05-18T09:48:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by meyer \* > \*\*How about Elton John - **Your Song** : > > “If I was a sculptor - but then again no…” > > Good point Elton! For this they knighted you?! \*\* That entire song is inane beyond belief. They knighted him for taking Taupin’s idiotic lyrics (here and elsewhere) and making them into very catchy (and sometimes quite moving) songs. [sub]“Wo-ho, you’re my cheddar cheese girl/ You’re soft and firm, and you go well with wine…” :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/62 "2003-05-18T13:11:46Z")
Before we begin, I’ve got to stress that I love New Order. Great music, really, some of the best music ever written. The things they did for dance music, for alternative music are amazing. But, really, did they have to use lyrics like: _You may think that I’m out of hand That I’m naive, I’ll understand On this occasion, it’s not true Look at me, I’m not you_ (from Regret) or, even worse: _I don’t wanna be like other people are Don’t wanna own a key, don’t wanna wash my car Don’t wanna have to work like other people do I want it to be free, I want it to be true_ (Turn My Way) Both good song, just silly lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/63 "2003-05-18T13:26:33Z")
I hate it when someone rhymes lie with alibi. Invariably, they seem to think the words mean the same thing. _I told no lies, no alibis_ Word to the wise, alibis can be _truth_. ---
**Author:** ![dono](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@dono](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dono)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/64 "2003-05-18T13:33:59Z")
**The Pretender** by Jackson Browne. Not a bad song, but there’s just not that many good rhymes for the word “pretender”. “Sender” - that’s OK; “legal tender” - hmmm; “begin and end there” - bit of a stretch; '_ice cream vendor_"?!? Oh, for God’s sake, give it up already, Jack. ---
**Author:** ![dono](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@dono](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dono)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/65 "2003-05-18T13:36:20Z")
I almost forgot, somebody’s \* bangin’ a fender\* in there, too. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/66 "2003-05-18T13:37:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > \*\*I think that, around the time that the En Vogue song was released, Whitney Houston came out with a song called “My Name Is Not Susan” \*\* That’s correct, the lyric is a direct reference to the Whitney Houston song which faced a lot of derision in Urban music circles, mainly because there aren’t a heckuva lot of African-American women named Susan running around. Btw, unless En Vogue did their own version of the song on their own, it was actually a Salt-N-Pepa song on which En Vogue was featured. En Vogue sang the chorus, Salt-N-Pepa rapped the verses. The “he knows my name is not Susan” line was provided (in the only version I’m aware of) by Salt-N-Pepa member/DJ Spinderella, whose real name is actually Dee Dee, which I hope her man would know. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/67 "2003-05-18T13:45:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philosophocles \* > \*\*In a Gadda Da Vita \*\* Is that _really_ what he’s saying? I’ve seen it written like this, or variations of it, everywhere. People quote it like these are the real words. Why is it, then, that what I hear is “In the Garden of Eden” ? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/68 "2003-05-18T14:15:36Z")
\*I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you \*(50x, or so) _But it’s gonna take money, A whole lot of spending money. It’s gonna take plenty of money_ Need I say more? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/69 "2003-05-18T14:19:09Z")
Billy Joel’s line _Honesty is hardly ever heard._ ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/70 "2003-05-18T15:48:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GuanoLad \* > \*\*Is that _really_ what he’s saying? I’ve seen it written like this, or variations of it, everywhere. People quote it like these are the real words. > > Why is it, then, that what I hear is “In the Garden of Eden” ? \*\* The correct title is “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.” It did in fact start out as “In the Garden of Eden,” but songwriter Doug Ingle was drunk when he sang the song to the rest of the band and he slurred the words. Evidently they all liked it that way–it does give the song a kind of “what the heck does **that** mean?” hook–so “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” it remained. ---
**Author:** ![RawkStah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@RawkStah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RawkStah)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/71 "2003-05-18T16:19:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*ABBA’s \*\* Fernando \*\*–“Since many years I haven’t seen a rifle in your hand.” > > An ungrammatical line that ruins a great song, and proves that you shouldn’t write lyrics in a language you don’t know really, really well. In the translation from Frida’s Swedish version to Abba’s English version, the idiom wasn’t corrected. \*\* Odd… I always thought that the lyrics were supposed to sound like Spanish translated into English – note the extra-sibbilant S sounds at the ends of the words. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/72 "2003-05-18T16:41:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kjckjc \* > \*\*Most forced rhyme would be in En Vague’s Whatta Man: > > And yes, it’s me that he’s always choosing > With him I’m never losing, and he knows that my name is not Susan > > \*\* I think the most forced rhyme is by LL Cool J (I always thought it was bizarre that he bragged that he wrote his own rhymes when they were so horrible). > [@](#): > > We went to the beach > She gave me a peach > And broke out the suntan lotion What the hell??? Did she expect him to apply the lotion with the peach? ---
**Author:** ![Comfortably\_Numb\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@Comfortably\_Numb\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Comfortably_Numb_1)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/73 "2003-05-18T16:50:20Z")
Beatles song. I think its, “Girl,” off Rubber Soul, but don’t quote me on that, 'cause I forget exactly. If you listen to the back-up vocals at one point, the rest of the guys are singing, “TIT TIT TIT TIT TIT TIT TIT!” I think its the back-up vocals for the part where he sings, “When she says she’s looking good she acts as if its understood she’s cool.” Lennon talked about it in an interview later on, he was laughing wildly about it. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/74 "2003-05-18T17:03:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by randwill \* > \*\*I wouldn’t be pompetus enough to say never. \*\* I suspect you meant to say “pomp **a** tus”. Uncle Cecil’s review of [In Steve Miller’s “The Joker,” what is “the pompatus of love”?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_065.html), which appeared in _Triumph of the Straight Dope_, notes that varinats include “pompitous” and “pulpitudes”. ---
**Author:** ![raygirvan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@raygirvan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raygirvan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/75 "2003-05-18T17:49:00Z")
Show me the way to go home “Wherever I may roam / On land or sea or foam” I assume it’s supposed to mean the foam on the seashore (i.e. everywhere = land, sea, and the interface between the two) but to me it’s as meaningless as “land or sea or emulsion”. And there’s “If I were a carpenter” “If I worked my hands in wood / Would you still love me” If I for some bizarre reason carved a wooden copy of my hands? And don’t get me started on the dire rhyme in “Summer (The First Time)”: “sipped on a julep … looked at her two lips” (which I always hear as tulip/tulips). ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/76 "2003-05-18T19:23:54Z")
Rick Springfield, Jesse’s Girl: _“Ya know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot”_ WTF?.. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/77 "2003-05-18T19:28:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GuanoLad \* > \*\*Is that _really_ what he’s saying? I’ve seen it written like this, or variations of it, everywhere. People quote it like these are the real words. > > Why is it, then, that what I hear is “In the Garden of Eden” ? \*\* Maybe you’ve seen the _Simpsons_ episode in which Bart makes it “In the Garden of Eden” by I. Ron Butterfly to confuse the reverend. –Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and or roll. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/78 "2003-05-18T19:33:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jack@ss \* > \*\*Rick Springfield, Jesse’s Girl: > > _“Ya know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute > I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot”_ > > WTF?.. \*\* from [www.dictionary.com](http://www.dictionary.com): moot (n) 1. Subject to debate; arguable: a moot question. 2. a. Law. Without legal significance, through having been previously decided or settled. b. **Of no practical importance; irrelevant.** Dippy as the song itself is, that lyric makes perfect sense. ---
**Author:** ![hegel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@hegel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hegel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/79 "2003-05-18T20:09:01Z")
Rick Springfield actually rhymes “cute” with “moot.” I think that’s what bothers people about the song. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/80 "2003-05-18T21:00:26Z")
_Let the Good Times Roll_ has the line: _Let them brush your rock and roll hair_. This lyric makes me picture a bunch of groupies gathered backstage after the show with their sophisticated brushing apparatus poised, ready to be plunged deep into the bandmember’s frizzy rocker hair…again…and again…the groupies moaning with every brushstroke, the moans intermingled with amplified brushing noises…brushing harder…and harder…until the groupies reach orgasm and collapse in a sweaty mass of hair and hair brushes, utterly spent. It’s just weird. I mean, who does that? Yesterday I was trapped in a car for 12 hours with my six-year-old cousin and her mother on return trip from NC to Ohio. My cousin wanted to listen to her Lizzie McGuire soundtrack. We listened to the whole thing, and the one song contains the lyric, “why not…take a crazy chance…why not…do a crazy dance.” Yeah, I know, it’s pop music for children, it’s going to be awful, but that line struck me as _really_, really, up-standingly awful. It was, “oh, these rhyme, let’s use 'em” songwriting. Had the songwriter only gone one further, to “Why not…take a crazy chance…why not…stab someone with a lance,” this song might have leapt into the top 100 of my Favorite Songs Ever countdown. Alas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831.md?page=5)