# lyrics that don't sound right/make you cringe **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831 "2003-05-17T03:48:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/141 "2003-05-24T03:50:58Z")
I’ve always been bothered by " Baby I’m a Want You" by Bread. It should be “Baby I’m a wantin’ you” or “Baby I want you” This has driven me crazy for years. The second line of this song is equally ungrammatical—“Baby I’m a need you…” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/142 "2003-05-24T03:56:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jsgoddess \* > \*\*“I must be sure > from the very start > that you > would love me more > than **her** ” > > Gaaah! > \*\* Well, that could be correct if the girl addressed in the song is bi. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/143 "2003-05-24T03:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gail \* > \*\*I’ve always been bothered by " Baby I’m a Want You" by Bread. > \*\* I remember _Rolling Stone_ trying to make sense of that one. I think the reviewer postulated that it was a “phonetic homage” to “Maybe I’m Amazed.” ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/144 "2003-05-24T04:23:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\*And > [“Meet Virginia”](http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~harel/cgi/page/htmlit?Meet_Virginia.html): > > > [@](#): > > > > Smokes a pack a day, but wait that’s me > > But anyway > > \*\* In context, that line makes perfect sense. The singer is running down a list of Virginia’s odd-but-endearing-to-him characteristics: > [@](#): > > She never wears a dress > Her hair is always a mess > You catch her stealing, she won’t confess > Ain’t she beautiful? _then_ he says: > [@](#): > > Smokes a pack a day and then has a moment of realization: > [@](#): > > Oh wait, that’s me because he, the singer, is the smoker, not Virginia. Then he says: > [@](#): > > but anyway To mean, well, that little mistake doesn’t matter, let’s move on and talk more about the subject at hand, this girl ofmine: > [@](#): > > She doesn’t care a thing about that > Hey, she’s beautiful > Meet Virginia I think the song is terribly clever and cute. But what do I know? Another one that just popped up in mp3 rotation to remind me of its badness is Melissa Etheridge’s _Yes I Am_, a song of great overall passion and power brought low with one grammatically dubious lyric: > [@](#): > > Barring divine intervention > There is nothing between you and **I** > And if I carelessly forgot to mention > Your body, your power, can sanctify Okay, I know why she went that way, the sanctify bit was too good to skip, but oh, _you and I_? Melissa, Melissa, your English teachers from Leavenworth High School are all waiting for an opportunity to give you a whack for that one, sweetie. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/145 "2003-05-24T05:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkavia \* > \*\*“She picked up a rock, threw it at his car > Hit him in the head, now he’s got a big scar” Sublime, Date Rape > > I dunno, it just sounds like he got tired of writing and just tried to squeeze in anything that would sorta fit. \*\* Well, I’ve read that he wrote the lyrics to this song on the spot after he heard some douchebag at a party actually say “if it wasn’t for date rape I’d never get laid,” but…I don’t see anything wrong with this line at all. It fits perfectly with the story and sounds really cool too. Two of my own: Rod Stewart’s **Maggie Mae** “I laughed at all of your jokes/ My love you didn’t need to coax” Come on Rod. Such a good song, such a lame lyric. But I believe **Nancy Sinatra** said it best when she said “You’re always lyin’ When you ought’to be **truthin’** ” ---
**Author:** ![CadburyAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@CadburyAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CadburyAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/146 "2003-05-24T07:52:54Z")
Well, if we’re allowed to pick on musicals… (I’m going to get known as the One-Trick-RENT-Pony around here if I’m not careful.) “Maybe they’re dressing After all, what does one wear that’s **apropos** For a party that’s also a crime?” Apropos? I think you mean appropriate. “After all, what does one wear that’s at an appropriate time…” or “After all, what does one wear that’s incidentally for a party that’s also a crime?” are almost acceptable independently, but it seems to clear to me that Larson was aiming for an “appropriate” synonym and missing by a mile. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/147 "2003-05-24T09:52:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jsgoddess \* > \*\*My peeves always seem to be grammatical ones. > “I must be sure > from the very start > that you > would love me more > than **her** ” > > Gaaah! > > \*\* I must admit that I don’t know what song this is, but I don’t think it’s ungrammatical. “I must be sure…that you would love me more than [you love] her.” The “her” is objective, as it should be, isn’t it? (Unless “…you would love me more than she [would love me],” but like I said, I don’t know the song or the context. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/148 "2003-05-24T10:54:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Leechboy \* > **Cutting Crew’s “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” has bugged me since I was eight, in fact it’s shitting me just thinking about it now.** I always automatically mentally change the next line to “It must have been something I ate.” Improves the song no end. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryan Mahoney \* > \*\*Ok, first off, if you’re looking at all the life, then skip the rocks, sand, and hills. These are not alive. \*\* I beg to differ. The hills _are_ alive…with the sound of music. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/149 "2003-05-24T15:44:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nineiron \* > \*\*I must admit that I don’t know what song this is, but I don’t think it’s ungrammatical. “I must be sure…that you would love me more than [you love] her.” The “her” is objective, as it should be, isn’t it? (Unless “…you would love me more than she [would love me],” but like I said, I don’t know the song or the context. \*\* It’s “If I Fell” by the Beatles, so the context is that the singer is male. See my “bi” wisecrack above. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/150 "2003-05-24T17:38:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UES Guy \* > \*\*I cringe almost every time a songwriter uses a variation of that hackneyed old “fire/desire” rhyme (with the possible exception of Hendrix’s “Fire” and U2’s “Desire”). > > Makes me want to say “Here’s a dollar, buddy - go buy some creativity, or at least a thesaurus.” \*\* \*\* I’m your Venus, I’m your fire, Your desire\*\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/151 "2003-05-24T22:17:17Z")
originally posted by _MineFujiko_ > [@](#): > > Are cartoon theme songs fair game? . . . . It sounds like the lyricists just **did not care.** The “superhero” episode of _Futurama_ had a takeoff on this, with lyrics such as: Clobberella beats you up! Clobberella beats you up! Who does Clobberella beat up? **YOU!!** ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/152 "2003-05-24T22:27:17Z")
Dearest gods. I can’t believe that a few minutes ago this horrible piece of dreck from my childhood just popped into my head. It’s been a long time since I’ve spontaneously screamed. Porcupine Pie, by Neil Diamond: Porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie, Vanilla soup A double scoop, please. Ah, but maybe I won’t, maybe I want, maybe I’ll try The tutti fruit with fruity blue cheese. Can anyone please tell me what the hell the nice little Jewish boy from NYC was thinking when he put together a song that sounds like the original redneck acid trip, with munchies no less? Worst. Song. Ever. “Honey” and “MacArthur Park” are friggin Mozart next to this travesty. I’d supressed it for at least a decade and a half, and thinking about this thread made it just BLOOM in my head. Curses. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/153 "2003-05-24T22:32:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FallenAngel \* > \*\* > Worst. Song. Ever. “Honey” and “MacArthur Park” are friggin Mozart next to this travesty. > \*\* I’ve vote for: "Lavender blue, dilly dilly, lavender green. If I were king, dilly dilly, I’d need a queen. Who told me so, dilly dilly, who told me so? I told myself, dilly dilly, I told me so. If your dilly dilly heart beats a dilly dilly way, and if you answer yes, in a dilly dilly church on a dilly dilly day, you’ll be wed in a dilly dilly dress of (one more time!) lavender blue, dilly dilly, lavender green…" Please, someone shoot me. Julie ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/154 "2003-05-24T23:40:05Z")
“Someone left a cake out in the rain and I don’t think I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I’ll never have that recipe again. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo!”:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/155 "2003-05-24T23:52:16Z")
I think the lyric is “I’ll stop the world and melt with you.” though Alias thinks it’s “meld.” Either he is turning into goo or he’s a vulcan. And you bring up "Meet Virginia but ignore…“Her timing is quite unusual. You see her confidence is tragic, but her intuition’s magic. The shape of her body…unusual.” He repeats unusual and implies that she has the body of a rhombus. Virginia is an odd girl. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/156 "2003-05-25T02:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neidhart \* > Clobberella beats you up! > Clobberella beats you up! > Who does Clobberella beat up? YOU!! 😃 Actually, that is one theme song I would not mind singing along to. If any of you ever vacation here in the fiftieth state, won’t you please sample our local Hawaiian music radio stations? Then you too will be able to thrill to classic island songs like Mana’o Company’s “Drop Baby Drop”: _My heart does the tango With every little move you make **I love you like a mango** Wish we can make it everyday_ And now for the chorus! C’mon, everybody! _I want you to drop, baby, drop, baby, drop Got to drop all your love on me Drop baby, drop, baby, drop Drop ‘cause I’m hungry_ [repeat one bajillion times] I know that the singer is comparing the babe of his dreams to a mango (round, orange, and sticky?), but the way it’s phrased makes it sound like he loves her with the fiery passion only a mango is capable of. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/157 "2003-05-25T02:31:07Z")
“Turn The Page.” I don’t remember who sings it. You hear it on classic rock stations, and I think Metallica covered it. The first verse ends with the line “You think about the woman or the girl you knew the night before.” The woman _or the girl_??? Um, wouldn’t that be statutory rape? The funny thing is, if he just said “the girl you knew the night before,” it would be OK because I would assume that he means ‘girl’ as in ‘girlfriend.’ But specifying “woman or girl” throws a creepy predatory vibe over the whole song. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/158 "2003-05-25T02:53:39Z")
That’s a Bob Seger song. Girl doesn’t mean a female under 13 - if it does, 3/4 of all rock singers are guitar of the same thing. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CurlyD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@CurlyD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurlyD)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/159 "2003-05-25T03:15:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Hotel California–“warm smell of colitas rising up through the air…” > > Ew. Wish I could enjoy that smell, but my employer’s random drug testing has taken it from me. Cecil covers colitas for us: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_001.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_001.html) ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831/160 "2003-05-25T03:19:06Z")
Somebody mentioned Rod Stewart. That reminds me of this awful phrase: > [@](#): > > On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry > sailing on my way back here > I fell in love with _a slit eyed lady_ > by the light of an eastern moon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-that-dont-sound-right-make-you-cringe/175831.md?page=9)