# Lyrics with a flaw **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 13, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597 "2015-04-13T21:15:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/1 "2015-04-13T21:15:20Z")
So let’s talk about songs where the cracks in the songwriting process show through. We’re all used to songs where the lyricist makes it seem easy – everything rhymes, the lines scan, and the metaphors are relevant. Then there are the songs that bring out the latent English teacher in us all. Songs where it’s completely obvious that the artist said “meh, good enough” and flung their pencil or iPad against the wall. Recently I was driving home and “Galileo” by the Indigo Girls was playing. > [@](#): > > And then I think about my fear of motion, > Which I never could explain, > Some other fool across the ocean years ago, > Must have crashed his little airplane. At which point I am invariably yanked out of the song. “_Litlle_ airplane”, bitches my internal English teacher. “Could you have picked a lazier adjective?” I’m not thrilled with the choice of the word “fool” either, but “little” is clearly a word picked solely to make the line scan. It’s so irrelevant to the process of an airplane falling out of the sky. Just about anything would be better. “Crippled”. “Fragile”. “Flaming” “Broken”. Perfect? Maybe not. But at least it’s better than the adjectival equivalent of “Fuck it, good enough, this song is just filler anyway, I’m going to go get a beer.” Another example: “The Eye” by Brandi Carlile is currently getting some airplay and it contains the following baffling simile: > [@](#): > > I wrapped your love around me like a chain > But I never was afraid that it would die > You can dance in a hurricane > But only if you’re standing in the eye “Yep”, muses Brandi with an i, “Chains die all the time. I’m sure of it. That makes this the ideal simile for our relationship. And ‘die’ rhymes with ‘eye’. That’s so perfect!” BTW, even though everyone gives him mega grief about it, I’m giving Neil Diamond a pass on “And no one heard at all, not even the chair”, because that has always conjured up for me some poor, lonely, song-writing bastard living in a rented squalid hellhole furnished only with a rickety kitchen chair he dragged home from the curb one day. The fact that “chair” happens to rhyme with “there” is probably purely serendipitous. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/2 "2015-04-13T21:21:54Z")
Uhm … isn’t she talking about _love_ dying (as opposed to a chain)? Or have I missed something? 😕 One line I can never unhear is in “Moonlight Shadow”: _Four a.m. in the morning…_ What, as opposed to four a.m. in the _afternoon_? **DUH!** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/3 "2015-04-13T21:34:50Z")
> [@Oscar Hammerstein II](#): > > La, a note to follow so You can just hear him saying, “I’ll fix it later.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/4 "2015-04-13T21:50:06Z")
I’m not sure what’s wrong with “little” in the first song. I’m not familiar with the whole piece, but specifying “little airplane” would differentiate between a private craft like a Cesna, probably piloted by a single hobbyist, versus a passenger jet or other, larger aircraft full of people. Seems an important distinction to me. The second one is legitimately sloppy, although not for the reason you mention. She’s clearly mixing her metaphors, here, comparing love to a chain in one line, and a living thing in the very next. A better song would have followed one or the other of those metaphors just a little longer. On the other hand, if it were a better song, it wouldn’t have been recorded by Brandi. “Four AM in the morning,” is inexcusable, particularly given that “Four o’clock in the morning,” scans just as well without being redundant. My own contributions: Black Sabbath, “Warpigs”: “‘Generals gather in their masses, just like witches at black…’ Fuck. What rhymes with masses? I know! Masses!” The Beatles, “It’s All too Much”: “All the world’s a birthday cake. So let’s take a slice, but not too much!” Jesus, George, really? I guess that was just the scene back then: sex, drugs, rock and roll, and a sensible attitude towards sweets. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/5 "2015-04-13T22:00:55Z")
Lerner and Loewe, _My Fair Lady_: "_People stop and stare, they don’t bother me For there’s nowhere else on earth that I would rather be"_ Bother and rather do not rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/6 "2015-04-13T22:01:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > The second one is legitimately sloppy, although not for the reason you mention. She’s clearly mixing her metaphors, here, comparing love to a chain in one line, and a living thing in the very next. I thought that was the reason I mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/7 "2015-04-13T22:07:22Z")
> [@Mk\_VII](#): > > Bother and rather do not rhyme. They do (sort of) if you’re an upper-class twit: _bow-the_ and _raw-the_. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/8 "2015-04-13T22:10:10Z")
> [@Mk\_VII](#): > > Bother and rather do not rhyme. Yes they do…if you’re English. ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/9 "2015-04-13T22:11:39Z")
How about this gem from “Rocket Man” Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids/In fact, it’s cold as hell And there’s no one there to raise them/If you did Did **what**? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/10 "2015-04-13T22:24:50Z")
Steve Miller \* Take the money and run\* > [@](#): > > Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas > You know he knows just exactly what the facts is > He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice > He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes He rhymed “Facts is” and “taxes” with “Texas” Which would be stab inducing under any circumstances. But for which brilliant genius of lyricism did he cram that horrible rhyme in to make happen? “He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes” Wow, thank you Steve. This crucial bit of information fills in the story so I can really see it in my mind. I can’t tell you the number of songs I simply can’t enjoy without explicit information to confirm the municipal budget structure is like 99.999% of everywhere else. Its the kind of writing he wrote you would come up with in second grade while walking up to the teacher’s desk to turn in the assignment you forgot about till 5 minutes ago. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/11 "2015-04-13T22:43:01Z")
On the subject of reflexive rhymes: > [@](#): > > I could have sworn that you are an angel. Cause you’re a sweet, sweet, sweet divine thing. But I should have known that you are the devil. Dressed like a… Wait, what rhymes with “sweet divine thing”? And from the “why did they pick that word” category, “I’ll be home for Christmas”: > [@](#): > > …and presents on the tree OK, first of all, who puts presents on the tree? I guess that ornaments are sometimes given as gifts, but most gifts end up under the tree, not on it. And to make it worse, the word “on” is stretched out long enough for an easy two syllables-- There’s even a note change in the middle. They’re trashing the meter and the meaning both at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/12 "2015-04-13T22:49:09Z")
Although I love _Les Miserables_, there’s one song that has a clunker line that always takes me out of the enjoyment when I hear it. > [@](#): > > _Come, Cosette, say goodbye, > Let us seek out some friendlier sky._ Sky? And don’t tell me it’s translated from French, because the English lyrics are a complete redo. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/13 "2015-04-13T22:50:24Z")
Michael Sembello’s “Maniac” from _Flashdance_ has the line > [@](#): > > There’s a cold kinetic heat …'the hell? It’s not enough to pick words and put them in a sequence, Mike. They also need to make sense. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/14 "2015-04-13T23:07:48Z")
> [@Mk\_VII](#): > > Lerner and Loewe, _My Fair Lady_: > > "_People stop and stare, they don’t bother me > For there’s nowhere else on earth that I would rather be"_ > > Bother and rather do not rhyme. That’s good enough for me. Rhymes don’t have to be perfect, and at least it finishes the thought properly without trying to hamfist a perfect rhyme into it. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/15 "2015-04-13T23:13:03Z")
We could do a whole thread on _A Horse With No Name_ alone. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/16 "2015-04-13T23:14:32Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > How about this gem from “Rocket Man” > > Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids/In fact, it’s cold as hell > And there’s no one there to raise them/If you did > > Did **what**? A cue if ever I heard one! 🆒 [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hARDXYz2io) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/17 "2015-04-13T23:14:41Z")
The lyrics for Anita Ward’s hit _Ring My Bell_ were, hopefully, written in less than five minutes. Possibly as the song was being recorded in the studio. The first verse contains this mindless gem: _Well lay back and relax while I put away the dishes._ Ok, sure, take your time. The second verse is even worse. Rhyming? Meter? Who gives a shit: _The night is young and full of possibilities Well come on and let yourself be free My love for you, so long I’ve been savin’ Tonight was made for me and you_ ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/18 "2015-04-13T23:16:24Z")
I like INXS, but there’s one line from [Never Tear Us Apart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyZU4iNRdsM) that irritates me: _We could live for a thousand years But if I hurt you, I’d make wine from your tears_ It certainly rhymes, but it doesn’t sound like he’d regret causing pain. Hmph. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/19 "2015-04-13T23:18:18Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > …OK, first of all, who puts presents on the tree? I guess that ornaments are sometimes given as gifts, but most gifts end up under the tree, not on it. And to make it worse, the word “on” is stretched out long enough for an easy two syllables-- There’s even a note change in the middle. They’re trashing the meter and the meaning both at the same time. I have heard versions of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” where that line is changed to the more sensible, “And presents under the tree.” ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597/20 "2015-04-13T23:23:14Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > They do (sort of) if you’re an upper-class twit: _bow-the_ and _raw-the_. Not to mention that it’s a musical specifically about trying to sound like an upper-class twit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-with-a-flaw/717597.md?page=2)