# Lyrics you insist on singing wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [January 7, 2022, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352 "2022-01-07T02:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/1 "2022-01-07T02:07:19Z")
Over in the thread about misheard lyrics, @lobotomyboy63 mentioned: > [@YOUR misheard lyrics](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-misheard-lyrics/727166/406): > > I don’t actually hear it wrong, but I insist on singing it wrong > > Actual: Strangers in the night exchanging glances > > Mine: Strangers in the night exchanging hamsters I thought that could be a good topic on its own, hence this thread. Some of mine: “Winter Wonderland” Actual: In the winter we can build a snowman And pretend that he is Parson Brown Mine: And pretend that he is Alton Brown Talking Heads, “Once in a Lifetime” (In this case, I just couldn’t remember the real lyrics, so I made something up) Actual: Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down Letting the days go by, water flowing underground Mine: Letting the days go by, and the watermelons grow Letting the days go by, as the watermelons roll ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/2 "2022-01-07T02:08:09Z")
Hold me closer, Tony Danza Count the head lice on my hiney compare to: Tiny Dancer by Elton John ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/3 "2022-01-07T02:30:05Z")
For a couple of months, I’ve wanted to start a YOUR made-up lyrics thread. Thought about it this morning, in fact. Now I don’t have to. There are songs that I don’t know the words to, but keep coming to mind. Like On The Road Again. On the road again Ain’t had no chicken since I don’t know when Found me a farmhouse and I stole myself a hen Hey it’s good to be on the road again And then there’s Folsom Prison Blues. For some reason, it also has a chicken theme. Must be a Country thing. I see that train a-comin’ A-comin’ round the bend I ain’t had no chicken Since I don’t know when Now I’m stuck in Kansas City With a case of the Blues… ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/4 "2022-01-07T02:36:45Z")
I like to replace “touch” with “punch.” The Doors: Come on, come on, come on, come on, now punch me, babe. Can’t you see, that I like lemonade? What was that hummus that you made. The Beatles: And when I punch you I feel happy, inside. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/5 "2022-01-07T02:51:07Z")
An hour ago, I was helping at a “high church” Epiphany service. Y’know, commemorating the three wise men (astrologers) visiting the baby Jesus. So I’m up in front, dressed in three layers of upholstery, and everyone starts singing “We Three Kings Of Orient Are”… so I had to turn my microphone off and sing the real version: _We three kings of orient are_ _smoking on a rubber cigar._ _It was loaded,_ _it exploded,_ _now we’re on yonder star._ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/6 "2022-01-07T02:53:27Z")
♫ _I thought that we’d be lovers_ _And play beneath the covers_ _And then she cut a fart_ _I was engaged in cunnilingus_ _How could she do a thing like this?_ _How could she cut a fart?_ _My tongue was down there turning_ _When my eyes started burning_ _And I could scarcely breathe_ _The odour from her anus_ _Was something rather heinous_ _I thought that I would heave!_ ♫ © Me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/7 "2022-01-07T03:26:02Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/qrO4YZeyl0I/maxresdefault.jpg "Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (Official Music Video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I) _J’veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche_ _J’veux ton amour, I don’t wanna speak French!_ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/8xg3vE8Ie_E/maxresdefault.jpg "Taylor Swift - Love Story") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E) _Romeo, save me, Good Charlotte tells me how to feel_ [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vhbMbiYb5bg/hqdefault.jpg "Greta Van Fleet - Black Smoke Rising") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhbMbiYb5bg) And the fate of man is in the hands Of he who stands and eats the corn ---
**Author:** ![UDS1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e47774/32.png) [@UDS1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS1)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/8 "2022-01-07T04:24:21Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > I like to replace “touch” with “punch.” > > The Doors: Come on, come on, come on, come on, now punch me, babe. Can’t you see, that I like lemonade? What was that hummus that you made. > > The Beatles: And when I punch you I feel happy, inside. By the same token, many songs can be enhanced by replacing “love” with “lunch”. You can’t hurry lunch. Lunch me do. Lunch will find a way. Lunch changes everything. And, of course . . . Lunch is just a four-letter word. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/9 "2022-01-07T04:33:44Z")
Lunch is like oxygen… (See also: Love is like a popsicle…) How many times must I say I love you Before you finally understand? Won’t you be my four rubber woman? I will try to be your four rubber man Try to be your four rubber man Four rubber man, four rubber man, four rubber man (Or Fall River man. I’m not picky.) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/10 "2022-01-07T04:42:44Z")
Taylor Swift’s [Blank Space](https://youtu.be/e-ORhEE9VVg): Real lyrics: _Got a long list of ex-lovers_ My lyrics: _Get along like Starbucks lovers_ And I always sing the National Anthem like [Frank Drebin, I mean Enrico Pollatzo](https://youtu.be/sxHnXajIex4). ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/11 "2022-01-07T04:51:21Z")
## [You’re Only Lonely](https://youtu.be/Uu8A5gJNbhA) J. D. Souther When the world is ready to fall on your little shoulders And when you’re feeling lonely and small You need somebody there to hold you You can call out my name… when you’re boning Tony Now, don’t you ever be ashamed, you’re boning Tony ## [Two Tickets To Paradise](https://youtu.be/d8whuM-ik8k) Eddie Money I’m gonna take you on a trip so far from here I’ve got two ticks in my pocket, now baby, we’re gonna disappear We’ve waited so long, waited so long We’ve waited so long, waited so long I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice Don’t you know that they’re just parasites I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/12 "2022-01-07T04:55:48Z")
There’s a sweet folk music song called [Thanksgiving Eve](https://youtu.be/1dADZFqO62A) by Bob Franke. The first line of the chorus goes "What can you do with your days but work and hope… " In concert, Bob said that he likes to sing “What can you do with your dates but lurk and grope…” and so that’s how I always sing it now. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/13 "2022-01-07T05:09:20Z")
I know perfectly well that the REAL lyrics to [Pousette Dart Band’s “Fall on Me”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxtPW1Qz2Hg) are: _Fall on me_ _If you’re gonna fall, fall on me_ _And if you’re going down,_ _Hold on to me._ But surely I am only one of millions who sing the inevitable variant: _Fall on me_ _If you’re gonna fall, fall on me_ _And if you’re going down,_ _Go down on me._ (Seriously, I’m pretty sure Pousette Dart Band members sing it my way when they’re not being recorded.) ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/14 "2022-01-07T08:13:07Z")
One of the kid’s favourite songs is _Cover Me In Sunshine_ by _Pink_. They think it’s hilarious when I change the lyrics to various topical versions such as: _Cover me in cat fur…_ _Cover me in dog slobber…_ _Cover me in sunburn…_ etc. ---
**Author:** ![SailorHG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SailorHG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SailorHG)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/15 "2022-01-07T08:41:28Z")
I have two that I sing (in context) around my three-year old: Thompson Twins “Lies” [when a fly is flying around the room] - original: Lies lies lies yeah (they’re gonna get you) - mine: Flies flies flies yeah (they’re gonna get you) Men At Work “You Can Dance If You Want To” [when jumping on the trampoline together] - original: We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind / Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance / Well they’re are no friends of mine - mine: We can bounce if we want to, we can jump both up and down / we can fly so high and reach the sky / and turn and spin around ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/16 "2022-01-07T08:54:43Z")
#2 is actually “Safety Dance” by [Men Without Hats](https://youtu.be/AjPau5QYtYs). ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/17 "2022-01-07T09:01:04Z")
Original: Tomorrow, tomorrow I love ya tomorrow You’re always a day away I sing “You’re only a day away”, otherwise it feels so futile because it’s unreachable. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/18 "2022-01-07T11:10:25Z")
1. Oldie: I’m in the mood for love/Simply because you’re near me Sing: I’m in the nude for love/Stripping because you’re near me 1. Misheard by someone else, but adopted by me: Might as well face it you’re addicted to love is now Might as well face it you’re a dick with a glove 1. For Billy Joel instead of Honesty…is such a lonely word it’s Sodomy…is such a lonely word ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/19 "2022-01-07T11:33:35Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Eddie Money A friend I went to high school with used to sing this all the time (to _Think I’m in Love_ by Eddie Money): _I think I’m on drugs_ _And my life’s a blur_ ---
**Author:** ![SailorHG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SailorHG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SailorHG)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352/20 "2022-01-07T11:38:46Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > #2 is actually “Safety Dance” by [Men Without Hats](https://youtu.be/AjPau5QYtYs). Thanks for the correction! I subconsciously knew that, but found the lyrics at this page [Men At Work - You Can Dance If You Want To lyrics | LyricsFreak](https://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/men+at+work/you+can+dance+if+you+want+to_10178355.html) and just copied and pasted. Maybe the linked version is a cover? Either that or the attribution there is simply wrong. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lyrics-you-insist-on-singing-wrong/957352.md?page=2)