# M. Night Shyamalan, you should drown in a vat of boiling horse semen **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118 "2008-06-24T22:32:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/21 "2008-06-25T01:42:16Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] Argent Towers, how many horses do you have to jack off to fill a vat? [/QUOTE] Oh, trust me, a **lot** more than you think, and it’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds like! (Well, except for the horses.) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/22 "2008-06-25T01:59:31Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Oh, trust me, a **lot** more than you think, and it’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds like! (Well, except for the horses.) [/QUOTE] Maybe we should ask the President: > **[Comedy Central The Daily Show Fan Page](https://www.cc.com/fan-hub/the-daily-show)** > > The source for The Daily Show fans, with episodes hosted by Jon Stewart, Ronny Chieng, Jordan Klepper, Dulcé Sloan and more, plus interviews, highlights and The Weekly Show podcast. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/23 "2008-06-25T02:07:46Z")
So, uh, you happen to have a vat of horse semen just lying around? People collect the strangest damn things. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/24 "2008-06-25T02:10:41Z")
Hey, **NinjaChick** , sometimes a man has _needs_. (I watched _Signs_ only because of my short-lived crush on Joaquin Phoenix, I want to establish that right now. _inches away from vat_) ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/25 "2008-06-25T02:13:35Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] There’s a reason that he is paid to make that crap long after everybody realized that his stuff is supernaturally awful. Someone goes to see his movies, and note that his movies are advertised as “M. Night’s New Piece of Crap”. [/QUOTE] It seems like his influence is (unsurprisingly) on the way down in Hollywood. [QUOTE=gaffa in the Cafe Society thread] One especially revealing detail about his current status in Hollywood was right at the beginning: The main studio was UTV, who mainly produce and distribute Bollywood movies. I only knew them because I enjoy Bollywood films. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/26 "2008-06-25T02:58:01Z")
M. Night had a problem. He had a huge success with “Sixth Sense” and has been trying to recapture it with each successive movie. Unfortunately, he’s been missing the mark by more and more. “The Happening” was a good concept that was absolutely butchered. He could have made a really good movie out of that concept. Instead, he produced something that looks like a treehugger’s wet dream - we’ve been mean to the poor earth, so it gets some payback. Major yak cock suckage… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/27 "2008-06-25T03:14:04Z")
**Argent** , that is the best equine ejaculate themed movie review EVER!! 😃 Seriously, if I had been drinking I’d be down one laptop computer. I never thought I’d see Roger Ebert’s review of [North](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19940722/REVIEWS/407220302/1023) de-throned as the best review of a bad movie, but now I have. Ebert will have to console himself with the best review of a bad movie that can be printed in a family newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/28 "2008-06-25T06:30:28Z")
FUCKITY FUCK CUNT WEASEL. M. Night Dickaschlong is going to write, direct, and produce the live-action “Avatar: The Last Airbender” film. Damnit all to Hell. The Dragon Ball Z movie looks like a festering sack of gangrenous turd, and now this movie looks like it will suck more cock than a crack-addicted vacuum cleaner. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/29 "2008-06-25T06:52:51Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] FUCKITY FUCK CUNT WEASEL. M. Night Dickaschlong is going to write, direct, and produce the live-action “Avatar: The Last Airbender” film. Damnit all to Hell. The Dragon Ball Z movie looks like a festering sack of gangrenous turd, and now this movie looks like it will suck more cock than a crack-addicted vacuum cleaner. [/QUOTE] He’s not writing it I thought. If that’s true it should be good, he has a great eye for directing. Even if his writing sucks I’ve always felt he at least knows how to squeeze the most he can get out of the actors following his retarded plot. With someone else writing (which is what I heard) it could turn out really, really well. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/30 "2008-06-25T07:01:54Z")
I’m just going by the wiki - bolding mine: > [@the avatar wiki](#): > > On January 8, 2007, Paramount Pictures’ MTV Films and Nickelodeon Movies announced that **they have signed M. Night Shyamalan to write, direct and produce a trilogy of live-action films based on the series** ; the first of these films will encompass the main characters’ adventures in Book One.[56] The film was in a dispute with James Cameron’s film Avatar regarding title ownership,[57] which resulted in the film being titled The Last Airbender. It is set for release on July 2, 2010.[58] Filming will begin in Philadelphia in May 2009,[59] and it will be shot in Greenland.[60] > > Avatar co-creators Mike DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko have come forward to voice their opinion within an interview regarding M. Night Shyamalan writing, directing and producing the film.[61] The two displayed much enthusiasm over Shyamalan’s decision for the adaptation, stating that they admire his work and, in turn, he respects their material. At least there will be three, assuming the first one doesn’t tank. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/31 "2008-06-25T07:07:28Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I’m just going by the wiki - bolding mine: At least there will be three, assuming the first one doesn’t tank. [/QUOTE] Well, damn, guess you’re right. [http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117956950.html?categoryid=13&cs=1](http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117956950.html?categoryid=13&cs=1) I’ve never watched avatar anyway, but my condolences (maybe being under the constraint of an existing creative universe will help, I doubt it though). ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/32 "2008-06-25T07:12:05Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] I’ve never watched avatar anyway, but my condolences (maybe being under the constraint of an existing creative universe will help, I doubt it though). [/QUOTE] Well, like you said, the Variety article states: > [@](#): > > “Avatar” marks the first time Shyamalan has taken on a project that didn’t originate from his own source material. . So I guess I won’t start the wailing, gnashing, and rendering of garments just yet. I’m still highly doubtful though. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/33 "2008-06-25T10:42:23Z")
[Some reviewers liked it.](http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/movies/366824_happening13q.html) > [@](#): > > The Happening" is unexaggerated, hauntingly naturalistic and easily the best thing he’s done since “The Sixth Sense.” ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/34 "2008-06-25T12:31:34Z")
My very cool, very hip ‘chick with attitude’ daughter (aged 26) saw it on the weekend and reckoned it was the biggest pile of shit she had seen in a very long time, and advised me not to even bother hiring it out on DVD, such a worthless event that it was. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/35 "2008-06-25T13:09:50Z")
[QUOTE=Chimera] Lucky for me, I have a lawnmower! _Plotting against me, are ya grass? Well I’ve got news for you! I’m changing the mower to a shorter setting! Muahaha! What? I hear you trees! I’ve got a pruning hook with your name on it! I’ll prune ya limb from limb! Don’t make me get the chipper!_ [/QUOTE] Exactly. Wouldn’t getting out the Agent Orange and the napalm be the smart thing to do, or does that only work in Vietnam movies? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/36 "2008-06-25T13:11:31Z")
I’m confused. First you start out with yak cock, and then you start talking about horse semen. Is it yak, or is it horse? These are two different species. It is this kind of inattention to detail that leads to people giving people like M. Night Shambles the authority to direct movies. Please be specific. You do not even say what the vat is made of. Is it a copper vat, or a stainless steel vat? How am I supposed to get a visual picture here? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/37 "2008-06-25T13:15:23Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > The new movie by Mr. Shyamalan. His last film, “Lady in the Water,” used to be the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life. Now, that spot has been filled by “The Happening.” Obviously you’ll need to go see his next movie, to bump up the wretchedness to a new level. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/38 "2008-06-25T13:17:44Z")
[QUOTE=ivan astikov] “Unbreakable” worked for me, but I’m not overly keen on anything else he has done. [/QUOTE] _The Sixth Sense_ worked well enough, but otherwise . . . Yeah. Hello?! _Signs?!_God gives a kid asthma and arranges an alien invasion of Earth just to help one priest recover his faith?! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/39 "2008-06-25T13:41:35Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] Obviously you’ll need to go see his next movie, to bump up the wretchedness to a new level. [/QUOTE] I have to admit I’m curious, as it’s difficult for me to imagine a major studio motion picture worse than “Lady in the Water,” which I watched, stupefied, when it aired on HBO. A morbid curiosity, not urgent enough to rid me fully of my senses—a prerequisite for ever dreaming of volunteering _M._ M. Night a solitary dime of my hard-earned savings. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/40 "2008-06-25T15:13:57Z")
[QUOTE=Typo Knig] I never thought I’d see Roger Ebert’s review of [North](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19940722/REVIEWS/407220302/1023) de-throned as the best review of a bad movie, but now I have. Ebert will have to console himself with the best review of a bad movie that can be printed in a family newspaper. [/QUOTE] You say this as if you’ve never read Ebert’s review of [Caligula](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800922/REVIEWS/9220301/1023). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118.md?page=3)